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Learning to Talk to Women: What We Can Learn from Hank Moody

19 Jul


The Showtime series Californication haphazardly provides men with shrewd insight into the minds of women in nearly every episode. This series centers around Hank Moody, a womanizing, alcoholic writer who regularly screws up everything in his life and screws over every person that he holds most dear. And, though that synopsis of the series sounds both tragic and hollow, the show is fairly nuanced and approaches Moody’s complex character through comedy. Hank Moody, with all his flaws, perfectly executes a lot of simple behaviors that makes him extremely desirable to the fairer sex. The following is a breakdown of all the characteristics that Hank utilizes that the average guy can use to make himself more attractive to women. hank moody Candidness and Sincerity

Hank Moody’s most potent weapon in his ongoing search for companionship is his openness and truthfulness with women. He wants Karen, his ex, he wants to reconcile with his daughter, and he wants his family to be whole. Instead of hiding these things, Moody tells every women that he meets those things the moment that he begins a conversation with them. He always lets women know what his intentions are from the beginning. But, Karen has remarried, his daughter lives with his ex and her husband, and he spends the rest of his time drinking and pretending to write. Women know who and what they are getting from him from the start of their liaison, so they can make a decision about moving into a relationship with him, whether that relationship be romantic or purely sexual. Moody is an open book to anyone that he meets, and that is both rare and refreshing to the opposite sex. So many guys go into relationships with secrets, but Hank Moody is both candid and sincere from the start. He tells women the truth about himself, about themselves, and about his situation. Because he can not have what he wants, he is willing to have a little fun on the side. Moody is transparent to women in regards to his faults, and he gives them the truth about their own shortcomings when asked. He has the uncanny ability to turn a honest critique of a woman into a complement, because he is willing to talk about the things that most men avoid. And, he only talks about his sexual interest with a woman after he has also shown that he interested in her as a person. As a bachelor, giving honest assessments of your relationship status and disclosing your sexual intentions with a woman sets you apart from most of the dating crowd. Most men have their “representative” present on dates instead of just being themselves. These men avoid tough questions, especially when the answers to those questions may upset their date. To make an impression with a lady, be yourself not your rep. Like Hank Moody, you should always be honest and be sincere with women. It allows them to accept you where you are emotionally, financially, and mentally. Disclose who you are and what you want, and women will be receptive to you. hank moody03 Blithe, Affable Nonchalance

Though honesty really is the most important factor when building an intimate relationship with the opposite sex, attitude is nearly as important. There are exactly two male archetypes that almost every woman in the world find attractive, the strong, silent type who seems both stoic and mysterious, and the laid-back, self-deprecating introspective man who makes people feel at ease around him. And, Hank Moody has the latter character type down to a science. He approaches every moment of his life with a little lightheartedness and candor. Though his view of the world is decidedly cynical, his outlook on daily life is surprisingly bright and carefree. Hank likes to laugh, and he finds the humor in almost every situation, good or bad. He does not take himself too seriously, so people tend to drop their guard around him and be themselves rather than keep up the masks that they use in public. His laid-back demeanor allows women to pull down the emotional walls that protect their feelings. And since, Hank is always straightforward with his intentions, women know what to expect from him. He laughs at himself often, so his friends, and of course the women that he pursues have permission to laugh at themselves. Hank sets a great example of how to approach the inevitable obstacles of the human existence with his breezy, insouciant attitude. The characterizing moments that are most difficult in life are often out of your control, so learn to find the humor in them. With a little introspection, you will realize that you are not nearly as important as you thought you were, and recognizing your stature could be freeing rather than demoralizing. The guy who thinks too highly of himself comes off as a pompous jerk even when he is an important man. But, the man who knows that he is just like everyone else shines when he is among his peers even when he is more important than them. And, women notice a man’s general disposition, specifically a man who makes them feel better about themselves and their situation. hank moody06 Self-Awareness and Confidence

Hank Moody knows himself, flaws and all. And because he knows himself, he has been able to come to terms with all his shortcomings. He has embarrassed himself countless times and alienated himself from the love of his life and his child. He has lost numerous lucrative job opportunities because of his sometimes childish behavior and his personal code of ethics, but he is satisfied with who he is and does not intend to change. Moody knows Moody, he understands what he wants, and he exudes that to everyone that he meets. His confidence attracts people to him, and it appeals directly to the ladies. Hank does not use lines when he approaches women, because he is comfortable enough in his own skin to do and say whatever he wants. His confidence is not a façade. He knows his worth or lack of worth depending on the situation, he extends that self-assessment to whomever he has engaged in conversation, and then he tells them the honest truth about their situation. You have to be confident in your ability to entertain women and comfortable in your own skin to effectively charm the opposite sex. People are drawn to confidence, and your countenance decides how successful you will be with the opposite sex or how poorly you will do in the dating world. Because Hank believes he has the capacity to seduce women, he is actively involved in pursuing, conversing with, and ultimately being emotionally and physically intimate with them. He has insecurities like any other person, but he does not let them paralyze him or change his self-perception. You should not let fear and insecurity paralyze you either. The first step to improving your confidence is improving your opinion of yourself. Find the characteristics that you find the most appealing and accentuate them whether they be physical or mental. If you have striking eyes, wear contacts instead of frames. If you have strong intellect, then flash a little gentle sarcasm, especially if you can keep it funny and non-threatening. Highlight your best parts and you will become noticeably more comfortable in your own skin and more attractive to the ladies. A huge portion of a person’s confidence comes from finding a part of their person that is unique to them. The next step to being more confident is training yourself to try for the things that you want. Confidence is built on success, and there can be no success without the opportunity for it. You have to attempt to get the things you desire including, but not limited to women. Guys often overestimate and avoid rejection to the point that they do not try to win. Remember that the worst thing that a woman can do to you publicly is tell you that she is not interested. She can only tell you no. And, though some women will inevitably turn you down, others will be interested in you. The more you talk to women, the more comfortable you will be talking to them, and the better you will become at it. Once you begin actively pursuing women, you can begin to find the women with whom you have a compatible personality type. Finding the woman who is specifically looking for a man like you will boost that confidence even more, and could lead you to the woman of your dreams. hank moody05 He Listens

The old adage that you have two ears and one mouth for a reason rings true with old Hank Moody. Hank Moody listens to women, and he understands that women connect through communication. Ladies need to express their emotions verbally, so he gives them the opportunity to express themselves candidly, and most importantly, without judgement. He connects with ladies by permitting them to disclose any and everything without feeling judged. A silly whim, a basic fundamental need, or their deepest, darkest desire is willfully and enthusiastically entertained by Hank Moody. No matter how terrible a woman has behaved in her past, she is never met with his disapproval. There are two lessons that can be gleamed from Moody when it comes to listening. One, always actively listen to women who have graced you with their company.They are comfortable enough with you to share their emotions, so you should at the very least, show them that you care about what they are telling you. And two, if you want to continue the trend of women intimating their secrets to you, do not make them feel uncomfortable while talking to you. If a woman feels like you disapprove of her actions, then she will not share anything else with you.

Hank Moody is by no means a perfect guy. He is tragically flawed as a character, emotionally immature, nonchalant to a fault, and sometimes overly confident. However, Hank is perfectly suited to pursuing and dating the opposite sex. He uses genuine sincerity, a little lightheartedness, a confident countenance, and plenty of attentiveness to the fairer sex to help him get closer to women. And, if you follow his lead, you will find that you will be a lot closer to the opposite sex too.


Raising Children is Inception

18 Jul

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inception09

For the five people in the world that still have not seen Christopher Nolan’s latest science-fiction thriller, the movie Inception is about a corporate espionage group that infiltrates companies and steals secrets from the highest ranking officials in the company. They do this through a process called extraction, where they enter the dreams of CEO’s and retrieve crucial data from their subconscious. Extraction is a very difficult practice, but inception which also takes place in the subconscious was close to impossible. The extractors are asked to implant a thought into the mind of a billionaire owner so that he makes a specific, lucrative deal for a company, and so that he thinks that the idea is his own. This is where the namesake of the movie is found. In order to implant an idea in another person, that person has to believe that the idea was formed of his or her own volition. The “inception” of any idea comes from a simple thought. It is a mindset that was formed by someone else, which grows into the desired ideology of the person who formed the idea. Raising children is inception.

When a child is born, it is in essence a blank slate waiting to be imprinted. Babies only know how to sleep, cry, and fill a diaper. They cry when they are hot, cold, dirty, or hungry. They relieve themselves after every meal and intermittently throughout the day. And, the rest of a baby’s time is spent sleeping. These behaviors occur naturally, but every other behavior of a baby is learned. Toddlers learn how to walk and how to move through imitating their parents’ and older sibling’s movements. And, the largest job in raising children is teaching them how to behave. In the movie Inception, simply entering into the subconscious of an individual and suggesting an idea in a dream was not enough to bring that idea to fruition. The individual simply shrugged those suggestions off as the silliness of a dream. The only way to be sure that an idea was acted upon was to give a separate mantra that would lead the person to the desired ideals. One single thought would give birth to an action.

Children are taught manners, morality, and other complex ideas and behaviors through the same methodology. If you want a child to wash their hands regularly, saying “wash your hands” after every restroom break will not convince a child to keep their hands clean. However, telling a child that failure to wash their hands can lead to sickness, and then reminding them of  how terrible their sore throat felt the last time they were sick would probably convince them to clean their hands regularly. Simply telling a child to do the right thing on a case by case basis does not insure that the child will make the right decisions on their own. Inception does. It is the idea that influences the behavior that is most important, not the behavior itself.

Proper parenting depends on an adult’s ability to give their children direction. Parents guide the actions of their kids with their own actions and they impart the desired concepts onto their child’s consciousness. Without the proper development of children’s minds and their sense of righteousness society as a whole could devolve into chaos. The process of imparting personal ideas that form into individual statutes of behavior is necessary for raising healthy and competent adults.

Consequently, teaching a child morality mirrors the concept of inception perfectly. However, that ideology does not inundate a child’s psyche automatically. Parents have to plant a moral pillar that leads their children towards the expected behaviors. Parenting entails mind control. And, it is the implementation of the ideals that shape behavior. Parenting is Inception.


The Five Women That Are Essential to Your Relationship Happiness

17 Jul

5 women

5 women

Certain relationships are paramount to eventually landing in a mature, fully-functional relationship with the woman that you love. Specific experiences ready you for the trials of building a connection with another human being, and only a select few women prepare you for an eventual eternal partnership with the woman of your dreams.

The First Love

The way that you feel about her is “puppy love” defined. You adore each other, and want to spend every moment together. This woman is the first woman with whom you spend a lot of time alone together and you enjoy the nonsexual activities as much as the sexual ones. Your first love is generally your first taste of emotional intimacy. She shows you that women can serve as friends and lovers. From her, you learn that you can love a woman for who she is and not just what she does for you. This woman is usually a girlfriend from high school or the first real girlfriend in college. Your intentions are pure and the time that you spend together is magical. But, ultimately the two of you separate over boredom, youth, or any myriad of reasons. Neither of you is emotionally mature enough to build a lifetime with one another, so you split up and pursue love elsewhere.

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The Fun Girl

This category should be called the fun girls. After dating your first love, you go through a stretch of dating women who are fun to be around but missing something essential to a fulfilling relationship. In some instances, you can pinpoint their deficiencies easily. One chick might be crazy, another might be anxiety ridden, and yet another may have a drinking problem. Sometimes, the issues are not so tangible. However, in college, you move through a series of relationships that you know will not succeed, but you stick around with these women for the good times and sex until the ride is over. There are women that you sleep with, women that you hang with, and women that you ignore, and college is the time when you learn to decipher between them all. Fun girls teach you what traits you want in a partner and which traits are deal breakers for you.

The One You Should Be With

Occasionally, the one that you should be with is also your first love, and you can come up with every reason in the world for why the two of you should be together. Her parents are loaded and they love you. It is like you are a member of the family already. This woman is beautiful and intelligent, but you enjoy spending time with the amenities that she affords you more than you enjoy actually being with her. In the beginning the relationship was exciting and new, but the spark left the relationship after a few years and neither of you know why. You can visit her brother or mom without her being there and have a great time, but the time that the two of you spend together seems forced and contrived. You have all the same interests and similar backgrounds, but the relationship does not work. Inevitably, you break up and there is no tangible reason why you split. But, both of you know that despite the love for each other that you have, you can not make this romance work. Losing the one that you should be with teaches young men that loving someone does mean that they are destined to be with that person.

The One That Got Away

Every man has a story of the one that got away. She was perfect for you in every way, but you slept with another woman and she never trusted you again. And sometimes the incident that breaks you up is not that drastic. For some men, the reason that they lose the perfect woman is simply because they can not tell the truth. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and if a woman can not trust that your intentions are pure in the relationship, then she can not trust you. Even a lack of intimacy (emotional, not physical) can be the reason that you lose the one. She worshiped the ground that you walked on, but you did not trust her enough to be vulnerable with her. She left you, and you fought for her to no avail. The story of the one that got away always ends in heartbreak for both parties involved, and some men never get over that relationship. She will marry a guy who sweeps her off her feet, and he will be better than you in every way imaginable. She’ll live the perfect life and you will feel left behind. However, missing out on the woman who you think is perfect for you shows you that you have to put work, trust, and respect into every romance that is worth fighting for before it is too late.

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The One

You thought that there was no hope for you romantically until you met her. From the moment that you met, it was like you had known each other your entire lives. She is not perfect by any means, but she is perfect for you. You have learned what you want from a woman and what is unacceptable for you. You have learned how to treat a lady and how to express your feelings. You trust her and you behave responsibly and with integrity. Both of you work to keep the relationship fresh, but it does not seem like work. All of your experiences with women have molded you and prepared you for the time that you will spend with her. And, you are ready to spend a lifetime with this particular woman because you have sculpted your ideals of women and of your relationship through the numerous dates that you had prior to this relationship.


What Guys Really Mean

16 Jul

what guys really mean

Men can be a little abstract about their feelings – sometimes purposefully and sometimes accidentally – and women are often completely confused by their reticence to be expressive with them. Men regularly communicate in a way that seems to be coded with the sole purpose of confusing the fairer sex. The article below translates what men really mean when they are speaking to the women in their life.

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I’m Sorry

“I’m sorry,” generally means,”I’m tired of arguing.” Unless an apology is completely unwarranted and given without provocation, then there is a chance that the apology is insincere. If an apology is given during the middle of a heated battle, chances are that he has been worn by your constant barrage of words. So, give the man a break, accept his apology, and stop fighting with him. He has had enough and has thrown in the towel.

 

Can We Still Be Friends

“Can we still be friends?”, can mean three things depending on the context in which the words are spoken and who is speaking them. In the context of a breakup where the woman left the relationship, that phrase usually means that the guy did not want the relationship to end and is hoping that there is a chance of rekindling the romance. He is waiting on another opportunity, he is hoping that his ex will see the error of her ways, and he is praying that she will change her mind about him. Unfortunately, he is also probably wasting his time. When a woman decides a man is not worth her time, she rarely reassesses the relationship. But, when a man uses the phrase, it takes on a completely different meaning. Men are generally not your friends regardless of what they say or how they behave. In a situation where the guy broke up with his woman, “Can we still be friends?”, means, “Please do not cry right now. I just want a clean breakup.” He is deluded, because there will be tears, but that is his hope. Men will say anything to avoid tears. When there is no formal relationship between a man and a woman who are having sex, ”Can we be friends?”, from a guy means, “Can we be friends with benefits.” He just wants regular sex with no commitment.

 

I Need Space

This phrase means that you are too clingy. You are suffocating him with your constant phone calls and texts, wanting to be with him all the time, and just being too available. The best action you can take if you hear the words, “I need space,” is to give the man some space. By being less available to him, you give are giving the right man time to see how much he misses you and how good you are for him. Plus, you give yourself the opportunity to find the right guy if your boyfriend is the wrong guy for you. It is a win-win situation for you, though it might not feel like one in the moment.

virgin

This guy is a virgin.

I’m A Virgin

Unless he is sixteen – in which case you are committing a felony by pursuing him – “I’m a virgin,” means “I am extremely religious,” and/or “I am painfully, socially awkward with women.” Get ready for a lifetime of missionary work and sex, or waste three dates trying to connect with a guy who built the perfect woman on World of Warcraft. Or it could mean “I’m a liar, a terrible sociopathic liar.” Either way, run for the hills.

 

I’m In-Between Jobs

The guy who utters this phrase is happily unemployed. He has no interest in working and is probably staying at home with his parents. He has no work ethic and no ambition. The economy and a string of terrible bosses will be his excuses for his lack of a job, but he is the only reason that he is not working.

 

I Am Getting A Divorce

There are plenty of reasons that a married man will give you so that you will sleep with him, including that he and his wife are separated and getting a divorce. Any man that says to you, “I am getting a divorce,” is not actually getting a divorce 9 times out of ten. Men who want to get divorced do so before they worry about dating other women. A man who says that he is getting a divorce is not leaving his wife. It is cheaper to stay in his marriage, he may have children who will be affected negatively by the split, and he might just want a little fun on the side with you.

 

I’m Not Looking For A Relationship

“I am not looking for a relationship,” means that a guy is looking for sex. If he tells you this, then he does not consider you a person that he would date seriously for any one of a myriad of reasons. He could have just gotten out of a relationship. He could just be a player. But, regardless of the reason, a guy who says this is telling you the truth. He is not looking for a relationship and is unavailable emotionally.

 

I Value Our Friendship

This one of the most terrible phrases that a woman can ever be told. It is in essence saying that a guy does not find you sexually attractive. There are only a select few reasons why a man would not sleep with a woman, and valuing a friendship is not one of them. Men pass on sex for only these three reasons:

  1. The man might catch a disease.
  2. The woman is so crazy that she scares the guy (a little crazy makes a woman better in the bedroom, a lot of crazy makes her homicidal).
  3. She is ugly, fat, or an unwanted combination of the two.

Men will sleep with their female friends. They will sleep with crazy girls. They will sleep with moronic women who have trouble stringing together sentences if they have a big rack. Men will sleep with any woman that they find physically attractive. Deal with it.

 

I Love You

No phrase is more open to misinterpretation than, “I love you.” Some men use these words appropriately and some use them haphazardly, however there are some universal truths about their usage. If “I love you,” is uttered before the first month has passed and there has been no sex in the relationship, then the guy is playing his trump card. Some women still fall for a well-placed, “I love you,” when they are interested in a man. If the relationship is sexual and less than a month has passed, then you are dating an immature guy who has not experienced a real relationship yet. And, immaturity comes in all ages. If a few months have passed, and he says that he loves you on his own, then the guy who says this may really love you. He is considering taking your relationship to another level. However, if you expressed your emotions first, then he could just be reciprocating the words. Some men do not know how to express that they have feelings for a woman, but may not be ‘head over heels’ in love with the woman yet. For married men, “I love you,” can be the precursor to an apology or the prelude to a romantic evening. ‘I love you’ has many meanings, so be mindful of the situation in which it was spoken.