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Raising Children is Inception

18 Jul

inception05

inception09

For the five people in the world that still have not seen Christopher Nolan’s latest science-fiction thriller, the movie Inception is about a corporate espionage group that infiltrates companies and steals secrets from the highest ranking officials in the company. They do this through a process called extraction, where they enter the dreams of CEO’s and retrieve crucial data from their subconscious. Extraction is a very difficult practice, but inception which also takes place in the subconscious was close to impossible. The extractors are asked to implant a thought into the mind of a billionaire owner so that he makes a specific, lucrative deal for a company, and so that he thinks that the idea is his own. This is where the namesake of the movie is found. In order to implant an idea in another person, that person has to believe that the idea was formed of his or her own volition. The “inception” of any idea comes from a simple thought. It is a mindset that was formed by someone else, which grows into the desired ideology of the person who formed the idea. Raising children is inception.

When a child is born, it is in essence a blank slate waiting to be imprinted. Babies only know how to sleep, cry, and fill a diaper. They cry when they are hot, cold, dirty, or hungry. They relieve themselves after every meal and intermittently throughout the day. And, the rest of a baby’s time is spent sleeping. These behaviors occur naturally, but every other behavior of a baby is learned. Toddlers learn how to walk and how to move through imitating their parents’ and older sibling’s movements. And, the largest job in raising children is teaching them how to behave. In the movie Inception, simply entering into the subconscious of an individual and suggesting an idea in a dream was not enough to bring that idea to fruition. The individual simply shrugged those suggestions off as the silliness of a dream. The only way to be sure that an idea was acted upon was to give a separate mantra that would lead the person to the desired ideals. One single thought would give birth to an action.

Children are taught manners, morality, and other complex ideas and behaviors through the same methodology. If you want a child to wash their hands regularly, saying “wash your hands” after every restroom break will not convince a child to keep their hands clean. However, telling a child that failure to wash their hands can lead to sickness, and then reminding them of  how terrible their sore throat felt the last time they were sick would probably convince them to clean their hands regularly. Simply telling a child to do the right thing on a case by case basis does not insure that the child will make the right decisions on their own. Inception does. It is the idea that influences the behavior that is most important, not the behavior itself.

Proper parenting depends on an adult’s ability to give their children direction. Parents guide the actions of their kids with their own actions and they impart the desired concepts onto their child’s consciousness. Without the proper development of children’s minds and their sense of righteousness society as a whole could devolve into chaos. The process of imparting personal ideas that form into individual statutes of behavior is necessary for raising healthy and competent adults.

Consequently, teaching a child morality mirrors the concept of inception perfectly. However, that ideology does not inundate a child’s psyche automatically. Parents have to plant a moral pillar that leads their children towards the expected behaviors. Parenting entails mind control. And, it is the implementation of the ideals that shape behavior. Parenting is Inception.


The Five Women That Are Essential to Your Relationship Happiness

17 Jul

5 women

5 women

Certain relationships are paramount to eventually landing in a mature, fully-functional relationship with the woman that you love. Specific experiences ready you for the trials of building a connection with another human being, and only a select few women prepare you for an eventual eternal partnership with the woman of your dreams.

The First Love

The way that you feel about her is “puppy love” defined. You adore each other, and want to spend every moment together. This woman is the first woman with whom you spend a lot of time alone together and you enjoy the nonsexual activities as much as the sexual ones. Your first love is generally your first taste of emotional intimacy. She shows you that women can serve as friends and lovers. From her, you learn that you can love a woman for who she is and not just what she does for you. This woman is usually a girlfriend from high school or the first real girlfriend in college. Your intentions are pure and the time that you spend together is magical. But, ultimately the two of you separate over boredom, youth, or any myriad of reasons. Neither of you is emotionally mature enough to build a lifetime with one another, so you split up and pursue love elsewhere.

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The Fun Girl

This category should be called the fun girls. After dating your first love, you go through a stretch of dating women who are fun to be around but missing something essential to a fulfilling relationship. In some instances, you can pinpoint their deficiencies easily. One chick might be crazy, another might be anxiety ridden, and yet another may have a drinking problem. Sometimes, the issues are not so tangible. However, in college, you move through a series of relationships that you know will not succeed, but you stick around with these women for the good times and sex until the ride is over. There are women that you sleep with, women that you hang with, and women that you ignore, and college is the time when you learn to decipher between them all. Fun girls teach you what traits you want in a partner and which traits are deal breakers for you.

The One You Should Be With

Occasionally, the one that you should be with is also your first love, and you can come up with every reason in the world for why the two of you should be together. Her parents are loaded and they love you. It is like you are a member of the family already. This woman is beautiful and intelligent, but you enjoy spending time with the amenities that she affords you more than you enjoy actually being with her. In the beginning the relationship was exciting and new, but the spark left the relationship after a few years and neither of you know why. You can visit her brother or mom without her being there and have a great time, but the time that the two of you spend together seems forced and contrived. You have all the same interests and similar backgrounds, but the relationship does not work. Inevitably, you break up and there is no tangible reason why you split. But, both of you know that despite the love for each other that you have, you can not make this romance work. Losing the one that you should be with teaches young men that loving someone does mean that they are destined to be with that person.

The One That Got Away

Every man has a story of the one that got away. She was perfect for you in every way, but you slept with another woman and she never trusted you again. And sometimes the incident that breaks you up is not that drastic. For some men, the reason that they lose the perfect woman is simply because they can not tell the truth. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and if a woman can not trust that your intentions are pure in the relationship, then she can not trust you. Even a lack of intimacy (emotional, not physical) can be the reason that you lose the one. She worshiped the ground that you walked on, but you did not trust her enough to be vulnerable with her. She left you, and you fought for her to no avail. The story of the one that got away always ends in heartbreak for both parties involved, and some men never get over that relationship. She will marry a guy who sweeps her off her feet, and he will be better than you in every way imaginable. She’ll live the perfect life and you will feel left behind. However, missing out on the woman who you think is perfect for you shows you that you have to put work, trust, and respect into every romance that is worth fighting for before it is too late.

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The One

You thought that there was no hope for you romantically until you met her. From the moment that you met, it was like you had known each other your entire lives. She is not perfect by any means, but she is perfect for you. You have learned what you want from a woman and what is unacceptable for you. You have learned how to treat a lady and how to express your feelings. You trust her and you behave responsibly and with integrity. Both of you work to keep the relationship fresh, but it does not seem like work. All of your experiences with women have molded you and prepared you for the time that you will spend with her. And, you are ready to spend a lifetime with this particular woman because you have sculpted your ideals of women and of your relationship through the numerous dates that you had prior to this relationship.


What Guys Really Mean

16 Jul

what guys really mean

Men can be a little abstract about their feelings – sometimes purposefully and sometimes accidentally – and women are often completely confused by their reticence to be expressive with them. Men regularly communicate in a way that seems to be coded with the sole purpose of confusing the fairer sex. The article below translates what men really mean when they are speaking to the women in their life.

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I’m Sorry

“I’m sorry,” generally means,”I’m tired of arguing.” Unless an apology is completely unwarranted and given without provocation, then there is a chance that the apology is insincere. If an apology is given during the middle of a heated battle, chances are that he has been worn by your constant barrage of words. So, give the man a break, accept his apology, and stop fighting with him. He has had enough and has thrown in the towel.

 

Can We Still Be Friends

“Can we still be friends?”, can mean three things depending on the context in which the words are spoken and who is speaking them. In the context of a breakup where the woman left the relationship, that phrase usually means that the guy did not want the relationship to end and is hoping that there is a chance of rekindling the romance. He is waiting on another opportunity, he is hoping that his ex will see the error of her ways, and he is praying that she will change her mind about him. Unfortunately, he is also probably wasting his time. When a woman decides a man is not worth her time, she rarely reassesses the relationship. But, when a man uses the phrase, it takes on a completely different meaning. Men are generally not your friends regardless of what they say or how they behave. In a situation where the guy broke up with his woman, “Can we still be friends?”, means, “Please do not cry right now. I just want a clean breakup.” He is deluded, because there will be tears, but that is his hope. Men will say anything to avoid tears. When there is no formal relationship between a man and a woman who are having sex, ”Can we be friends?”, from a guy means, “Can we be friends with benefits.” He just wants regular sex with no commitment.

 

I Need Space

This phrase means that you are too clingy. You are suffocating him with your constant phone calls and texts, wanting to be with him all the time, and just being too available. The best action you can take if you hear the words, “I need space,” is to give the man some space. By being less available to him, you give are giving the right man time to see how much he misses you and how good you are for him. Plus, you give yourself the opportunity to find the right guy if your boyfriend is the wrong guy for you. It is a win-win situation for you, though it might not feel like one in the moment.

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This guy is a virgin.

I’m A Virgin

Unless he is sixteen – in which case you are committing a felony by pursuing him – “I’m a virgin,” means “I am extremely religious,” and/or “I am painfully, socially awkward with women.” Get ready for a lifetime of missionary work and sex, or waste three dates trying to connect with a guy who built the perfect woman on World of Warcraft. Or it could mean “I’m a liar, a terrible sociopathic liar.” Either way, run for the hills.

 

I’m In-Between Jobs

The guy who utters this phrase is happily unemployed. He has no interest in working and is probably staying at home with his parents. He has no work ethic and no ambition. The economy and a string of terrible bosses will be his excuses for his lack of a job, but he is the only reason that he is not working.

 

I Am Getting A Divorce

There are plenty of reasons that a married man will give you so that you will sleep with him, including that he and his wife are separated and getting a divorce. Any man that says to you, “I am getting a divorce,” is not actually getting a divorce 9 times out of ten. Men who want to get divorced do so before they worry about dating other women. A man who says that he is getting a divorce is not leaving his wife. It is cheaper to stay in his marriage, he may have children who will be affected negatively by the split, and he might just want a little fun on the side with you.

 

I’m Not Looking For A Relationship

“I am not looking for a relationship,” means that a guy is looking for sex. If he tells you this, then he does not consider you a person that he would date seriously for any one of a myriad of reasons. He could have just gotten out of a relationship. He could just be a player. But, regardless of the reason, a guy who says this is telling you the truth. He is not looking for a relationship and is unavailable emotionally.

 

I Value Our Friendship

This one of the most terrible phrases that a woman can ever be told. It is in essence saying that a guy does not find you sexually attractive. There are only a select few reasons why a man would not sleep with a woman, and valuing a friendship is not one of them. Men pass on sex for only these three reasons:

  1. The man might catch a disease.
  2. The woman is so crazy that she scares the guy (a little crazy makes a woman better in the bedroom, a lot of crazy makes her homicidal).
  3. She is ugly, fat, or an unwanted combination of the two.

Men will sleep with their female friends. They will sleep with crazy girls. They will sleep with moronic women who have trouble stringing together sentences if they have a big rack. Men will sleep with any woman that they find physically attractive. Deal with it.

 

I Love You

No phrase is more open to misinterpretation than, “I love you.” Some men use these words appropriately and some use them haphazardly, however there are some universal truths about their usage. If “I love you,” is uttered before the first month has passed and there has been no sex in the relationship, then the guy is playing his trump card. Some women still fall for a well-placed, “I love you,” when they are interested in a man. If the relationship is sexual and less than a month has passed, then you are dating an immature guy who has not experienced a real relationship yet. And, immaturity comes in all ages. If a few months have passed, and he says that he loves you on his own, then the guy who says this may really love you. He is considering taking your relationship to another level. However, if you expressed your emotions first, then he could just be reciprocating the words. Some men do not know how to express that they have feelings for a woman, but may not be ‘head over heels’ in love with the woman yet. For married men, “I love you,” can be the precursor to an apology or the prelude to a romantic evening. ‘I love you’ has many meanings, so be mindful of the situation in which it was spoken.


Why Feminists Are Stupid

12 Jul

double standard - feminism

The world needs feminism like it needs airborne AIDS. Yes, there are great inequalities between the sexes that still exist in the world. There are crimes against women, not only in the poor third world countries, but also in the most civilized and distinguished communities. However, the world does not need feminists to combat these atrocities because most feminists are idiots. They are evil, angry women who point out every perceived inconsistency that exists in the world in an ill-conceived attempt to bring about equality. Below are the most blatant failures of practicing feminists.

1. Every Image of a Woman Is An Insult

barbie - anatomically correctSeriously? Is this necessary?

Does the media pose unrealistic standards of beauty in every facet of advertising? Absolutely. Physical beauty, youthfulness, and sexuality drive advertisements in this country. But, the same elements drive basic human attraction which is why the propaganda is so powerful. Everyone loves pretty faces and big boobs. Deal with it. Should advertising companies use more “real women” in their advertisements? Yes. If the average size of a woman in the U.S. is a size 14, then more size 14s should be in the public eye. However, removing all the images that set an “unreachable goal of beauty” for young women is just as ridiculous as the media using supermodels to sell cars. Every example of the media using sex to sell products is not a personal affront on women. Rather than blame the media for the poor self image of young girls, more attention should be paid to having healthy conversations with young women about their appearance and the disparity between them and the models. You do not have to tear down standards of beauty in order to recognize your own self-worth. Ask the 400 pound guy who wears a Speedo to the beach.

2. They Misuse Words to Define Their “Oppression”

Everybody gets it. You’re working on your doctorate and you need to separate yourself from the rest of the mediocre candidates in your class. However, using terms like “patriarchy” or “paternal society” as a disambiguation of the original term does not make you any smarter than the underachievers you are desperately trying to outdo. Does the idea of “male privilege” exist in this society? Yes, men are given opportunities to succeed that women are not afforded solely because of gender. Women regularly face exclusion from some of the more lucrative positions in the workforce because they are not “one of the boys”. But, if you throw every perceived slight under the umbrella of inequality, and then label it some foreign term, then even your valid arguments become trivialized.

feminists arrestedIs showing your boobs this important?

3. They Fight for the Wrong Type of Equality

Every man and woman should be adamant about stopping the raping, beating, disfigurement, and killing of women at the hands of men. Misogynistic views and violence towards women has reached epidemic proportions, especially in third world countries. Feminists are well-served by demanding better treatment for the women who are being victimized by their husbands or assaulted in the streets and by harsher laws for the men who commit crimes against them. Similarly, fighting for equal pay in the workplace represents a worthy cause. Women who have the same level of education, comparable work experience, and the appropriate titles often make less than their male counterparts in big companies, and other working women often face barriers that are invisible to the public in big companies. Wanting equal opportunity for career advancement and desiring the same pay for the same job makes sense. Even fighting for the right to nurse a child in public is understandable. A child’s nutrition should come before society’s comfort with bared breasts. Studies show that kids who breastfeed have higher immunity to disease, better social skills, and are just more well-adjusted children.The health of children is a cause worth protesting. But, fighting for the right to go topless in public seems like a wasted argument. Men ogle and objectify women when they are fully clothed. Fighting for the right to free your boobs around the clock is asking for sexual harassment. Women should be able to bounce and jiggle haphazardly without being subjected to dirty looks and ugly comments. But, in the real world, people have eyes and make inappropriate, judgmental sexist comments. Feminists want to separate sexuality from the breast by making the female breast an organ that is used solely for feeding infants, however breasts are both functional and sexual. They engorge with blood when women get sexually excited just as the genitals do (Granted, men’s chests engorge too). They get more sensitive to the touch during sex just like the genitals and can be stimulated to enhance arousal. Hell, some women have reportedly been able to orgasm from breast stimulation by itself (men have not been reported to orgasm from breast stimulation). Breasts feed children, but they also serve a purpose in sex. And since women are not walking around the city with exposed vaginas and men keep their erections clothed in public, then boobs should be covered when they are not feeding infants.

4. Two Sides of the Same Sex Worker

The plight of the sex worker proves feminists have no clue of what they want as a whole. Feminists have no collective stance on the subject. Some feminists applaud sex workers for owning their own sexuality, and using a previously suppressed part of their humanity to provide for themselves. (Sounds kind of like Black people reclaiming the “N-bomb,” good in theory but abrasive, misguided, and exploitative in application). These women propose that sex workers have a unique power dynamic over their “consumers” (pun totally intended), and they believe that sex workers control their own fate, control their finances, and use their sexuality positively to their advantage. But, other feminists believe that all sex workers are victims of male oppression and are being exploited for their bodies. These feminists believe that the person who solicits sex is the person in power, and point to the sex slave trade and its impact on economy and women as proof of the exploitation of sex workers. Feminists regularly argue over which faction is right. How can any credible outfit have two opinions so far apart about such a huge topic? Either women are empowered by sex work or exploited by it. No subject is quite as divisive as how women use their bodies, and the fact feminists can not find middle ground on such an auspicious subject exposes how ridiculous feminists can be.

5. And, Since We Are on the Subjects of Ridiculousness and Sex….

Why do feminists attack the blowjob? Sex in itself is subjective and complicated, and sexual pleasure depends on several unique factors that are specific to the individual, including but not limited to personality, social cues, upbringing, personal experience, openness to experimentation, etc. People can not even agree on when sex has occurred (does it start at light petting, oral sex, or penetration?). How can feminists dictate to another woman what satisfies them sexually? People, not just women, love sex for different reasons. The main argument against fellatio seems to be that the act itself belies a submission of the female to male oppression, and that any sex act between two people should be mutually beneficial to both partners. Good sex inherently includes a lot of giving to your partner. Get over yourself feminists. People who are givers get personal satisfaction from pleasing their lover, and some feminists report feeling more powerful when giving oral sex to their male partners. Plus, statistics show that between 60-85% of women cannot orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation which means that happy women are also receiving oral sex from their partners. If your fight is against oral sex, then a lot of women will suffer unfulfilled sex lives when you win your cause. We live in a society that profits from sexual dysfunction and the shame that surrounds being a sexual being. Fighting against simple sexual gratification perpetuates the system that allows people to continue to have sex that is not gratifying. And what is the point of having sex if it does not satisfy?

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6. Feminism Often Means Man-Hating

Please listen ladies, men are not the enemy. We can be sexist, self-involved and a bit apathetic when it comes to equality. However, very few men consciously or subconsciously despise women. Fighting for equal rights does not mean castrating any male member of the species who makes the mistake of being publicly chivalrous or somehow accidentally offends you in some other way. Sometimes a nice gesture is simply a good deed. Deal with it.

7. Some People Just Don’t Get It

Inevitably, some overzealous pissed-off feminist will leave a novel length, oppositional response to this fairly misogynistic post about angry women. And unfortunately, that post will surely fall on deaf ears. If you speak nearly as vitriolic and offensive as you should speak after reading this decidedly prejudiced article, then everyone who reads your comments will write you off as the typical angry feminist. And, if even if you articulate valid points in your rebuttal of this article, your views will meld into the preordained stereotype that all feminists are angry man-haters. No one will take you seriously.