September 15, 2010
1. You really can find whatever you want on the internet – There is a website for anything you could fathom or ever want to see. You can look up the latest cars, clothes, shoes and fashion. You can find women, men, apply for jobs, talk to your friends and even choose a religion all from the privacy of your home. You can make reservations to eat out or order delivery of your food so you can eat in. You can have movies sent to your house by mail, have them sent to your television, or have them loaded to your computer. You can pay some one to shop for you. You can find long lost relatives. You can find a sex partner, a boyfriend/girlfriend, a husband/wife, or even a mister/mistress. There are sites for women crushing food…with their feet. There are sites for people wearing mascot uniforms. There are websites devoted to people making fun of the people that look at these websites. The entire world is at your finger tips with the world wide web.
2. You spend significantly more money on the internet than out buying things – While you are more likely to find a better deal on specific items online, you are also more likely to buy more things which negates the savings. What good is buying that DKNY blouse, if you don’t buy the matching skirt and some Jimmy Choo’s too? I know a few people that maxed their credit cards spending online.
3. There is a lot of pornography out there – M.I.L.F. porn, G.I.L.F porn, teen porn, fetishes, amateur, the list goes on and on. If you like it, you can find it.Which brings me to my next lesson…
One reader just got really excited
4. Never, ever, ever look at 2 girls 1 cup – Trust me on this one.
5. I’m getting old – Half of the things I see on random websites, I can’t understand and I don’t know why anyone would do it. Why would anyone make or buy tiny rockets,strap them to a shopping cart, sit in it, and then roll down a hill. Why would you then post it on the web? Granted, it is insanely funny. But why? Why would you submit your stupidity to the world? That’s like being famous for having sex with the President of the United States, who is also married. Wait, did somebody do that already? If you want to be sure, you can find that on the internet too.
6. The cure for AIDS or cancer will not be found until social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, etc. are eliminated – How can you save people’s lives when your friends, girlfriend, and mother are always sending you a message on Facebook. They even alert you when you are away from the computer with e-mails and text messages straight to your cellphone. You’re always available. I don’t need to know that the new kittens just fell asleep playing with a ball of string on top of the refrigerator when I’m at the hospital. And, I blame you Facebook.
How much work is this guy doing?
7. No person will ever be productive at work again as long as YouTube exists – Studies have proven that offices that allow YouTube are less active and less successful than companies that don’t allow it. On the other hand, I think the employees of those companies are far less happy. Who wouldn’t rather watch an endless stream of people getting hit in the head, chest, or crotch with balls than do the finance report for the thirtieth time?
8. The nerds and programmers that understand how the internet works will control the world – Bill Gates, who was once the richest man alive, would offset the American economy if he sold his stock in Microsoft. The stock market would crash if he sold his shares. That the power of just one tech geek. There are new developers now that will take the internet to the next level and they might rule us all.
Future millionairess divorcee.
9. The news will never be the same – One generation ago, television had the sole responsibility of bringing the news to everyone. A generation before that, that responsibility lied with the newspapers. Celebrities that messed up could trust that reporters and editors would cover up their incidents and spin the news more favorably for them. However, with new media and technology in the hands of regular people and internet access in half the homes in the nation, everything that is done publicly can be seen globally within minutes of it happening. The average person has their image recorded 11 times daily. Anything news worthy is caught on tape. Privacy is almost obsolete.
10. I can’t live without the internet – How can you hate something that has brought so much accessibility to everything imaginable in just 25 years? The internet has made the entire world visible to even the most common man and may be the greatest accomplishment of man.