1. Sarah Palin- It’s not that I really like her, I like how she is now the most famous woman in America despite no one knowing who the hell she was 18 months ago. Furthermore, probably 60% of Americans thought she was stupid only 12 months ago. What has changed about her in 12 months? Has she gotten any “smarter”? She earns 6 figures each time she flies in a private jet to give a speech during this current horrid economic climate, she wrote a book, she resigned (aka got kicked out) from office, and became a GILF (grandmother I’d like to…) not very much time to study and get “smarter.”
2. Reh Dogg- I like stuff that is just so terrible it’s comedic. In some respect you could say this is unintentional comedy (which anyone with a good sense of humor also likes), but I actually feel kinda bad for these people on some level (if you’re too squeamish to watch the whole video, here’s a truncated version of Reh Dogg). Other such sympathetic disasters include:
3. Braces- I’ve always like women who have braces. I don’t really know why, they just seem so cute. The one benefit is that at least I know that they go to the dentist. It’s pretty intuitive that if they’re clean up there…
4. Boxing- the sweet science is DEAD, but I still love it. MMA is king, and this is not a temporary role reversal. Boxing has no more super fights (see Mayweather, Floyd vs. Pacquiao, Emmanuel), the outcomes are fixed, there are like 27 different belts, and the best heavyweights are two Russian dudes with PhDs. Unfortunately I still find myself watching the PPVs, following the events like its back in the 1990s, and getting sucked into believing that this is okay.
5. 4th meal- I take what I put into my body seriously, and I work out regularly, but I have a sick infatuation with late night dining (be it 3AM breakfast taquitos, $1 double cheeseburgers, those uber greasy Jack in the Box tacos, IHOP, etc)
6. Starbucks ordering- I don’t drink coffee at all, but I like going in to Starbucks just to hear people order stuff. It’s like listening to a person with a British accent talk. It’s still the English language, but it’s fascinating to hear, for example: Venti caramel something, skinny, 2 pumps vanilla something, extra hot, dry, upside down, 3.14159…
7. Drive through’s- I like how people are so lazy that the line to the drive through is 5 cars long, but no one is inside ordering. I appreciate seeing people go to pharmacy drive through’s and get their medication and ask the attendant to also get them some beer. I really like bypassing the long drive through line at the bank to get immediate service inside from some smoking hot teller. The tellers are almost always smoking (go inside the bank fellas…trust me!)
8. Watching bowling on television- Everyone enjoys bowling a game or two every now and again, but could you ever imagine watching it on tv? Yep, just as horrible as it sounds. It’s even worse cos the bowlers try to act all tough and cool like they’re real athletes. They literally yell and fist pump after every strike, and some even wear stunner shades while they bowl! How exciting can that experience really be if one averages like a 230 or something and almost all of your shots are strikes? It’s so extremely awful, but I love it.
9. People who ride bikes downtown- I live in a major industrial city, so there isn’t much room for bike riders during rush hour on busy streets. However, every so often you see the douche on the bike going like 15 miles an hour on a main street holding up traffic. This guy has all the gear and everything, but can’t pedal any faster than a kid with training wheels on…even though he thinks he’s Lance Armstrong. Funniest part of it all is when he starts flashing hand signals and stuff. Dude, we honestly don’t know what any of that stuff means. The whole scenario is truly annoying, but I love watching it unfold as the people in their cars start honking, cursing, and pounding their steering wheels. For your safety Mr. Livestrong, just take your BMX 10-speed onto the sidewalk and carry on.
10. PETA- I shouldn’t like them cos they say and do some really ridiculous stuff, but some of it is so heinous that you have to like it. For example, mocking the slogan “Got Milk?” with their own of “Got Beer?” Also telling that Siegfried and Roy guy who got mauled by the tiger “you deserved it.” Other ridiculous stuff they’ve done is make pamphlets for kids titled “your daddy kills animals,” to discuss the horrors of fishing, they’ve told people to boycott the zoo, they made a lot of people angry when they asked if animals were the next slaves, and told the NFL that they need to make Michael Vick get psychological testing and a brain MRI.
Some other things we guys like that maybe we shouldn’t: