by Rodimus Dunn
What is an appropriate way to extend a compliment towards a woman? Notice that I didn’t ask should one compliment a woman. Women spend a considerable amount of time trying to make themselves look splendid, and they highly enjoy recognition of their efforts. The interesting conundrum about all of this is that men often miss or are completely unaware of how a woman has made herself up, thus, the woman is in a sense making herself more glamorous for other women. On some level women understand and accept that men are visual creatures, so if we compliment them appropriately, it totally validates their Herculean labors.
It’s pretty simplistic to compliment a woman you’re dating or married to because you can say things that are off limits to single guys. Relationship Guy can be open and honest with his compliments, and he can even mention the unmentionables. Furthermore, if you’re Single Guy and you’re complimenting single lady who’s really into you, you also have a bit more liberty in your word choice. Relationship Guy shouldn’t need help in this endeavor, so I’ll focus my powers on helping Single Guy compliment a woman who doesn’t already have a thing for him. (If you’re Relationship Guy, just make sure you compliment your woman honestly and regularly. Make sure that your compliments aren’t always solicited, and make sure that they aren’t always in regards to how she looks or how wild she is in the sack. Diversify your attack, like you’re an offensive coordinator for an NFL team).
To make your initial strategy more successful, let me first illuminate the things you can’t compliment on a woman you don’t really know unless you want to come off looking like Quagmire (of course there are exceptions, such as drunk girl, slutty girl, girl who wants a one-nighter that evening, girl who is less than 18 years old, girl with the blatantly obvious low self esteem, girl whose friend is getting so much more attention from the guys than she is, girl who just got out of a relationship with a really lame dude, immature girl, gold digger girl, bopper girl, random girl in the club, hood rat girl, barrio girl, or trailer park girl):
• Lips- too easily implies your interest in sex and/or felatio. It is safe to compliment the lipstick color (usually in combination with some other compliment), but the lips themselves are off limits.
• Chest- I don’t care how open the shirt is or how much cleavage is showing, don’t go this route. Doesn’t even matter if she’s wearing only a bra out to the bar. Odds are your eyes will do enough talking on their own involuntarily to provide compliments.
• Hips/butt- if you mention the hips, it implies that you’ve been looking near her reproductive area…bad business. If you mention the derriere you’ve signaled that you’re more interested in her body than her face or mind because you’ve checked her out from behind. Even if this is true, don’t make it so obvious.
• Feet- please, please, please don’t refer to her feet unless you want to be considered weird foot fetish guy. Similar to the lips, you can refer to her toe nail polish if it’s in combination with other compliments if you’re VERY clever. This isn’t novice stuff, so if you’re not a veteran giving compliments, just avoid the feet altogether.
So what exactly can you compliment? Let’s start from the head and move downward:
• Hair- please, by all means, find kind words to say about a woman’s hair. Women probably spend more time and money trying to perfect their hair than any other part of their bodies. Thus, if you compliment their hair, it goes a lot deeper than most other compliments. I’m not going to tell you exactly what to say, just be honest with what you like about it. If you like the length, the color, the way it curls, the way it sits on her shoulders, the bangs, the part, the way it’s layered the texture, etc., just say so. Moreover, don’t forget to comment on a change in hairstyle if there has been one recently. Not only are you complimenting the hair, you’re showing her that you notice all the work she puts into it.
• Eyes- totally okay to compliment the eyes, but just don’t say something dated, clichéd, or cheesy. For example, “your eyes look like pools of water,” “I can see my unborn children in your eyes,” or “your eyes are like shinning stars.” Women have heard these and other such lame attempts ad nauseaum, so you gotta come up with originality if you wanna mention the eyes. One thing you can do is refer to eye lashes (which is an underrated area), or notice if the woman matches some of her jewelry or hair accessories to her eye color. If so, comment on that, and you’re golden.
• Nose/ears- nothing really to truly compliment with these areas, but if she has an alluring nose ring or earrings, be sure to point them out to her.
• Neck- probably better left alone unless she’s wearing one of those Kayan neck rings.
• Hands- this is an easy one, because you can comment on size, texture, color, and/or accessories. If her nail polish color matches jewelry, clothing, eye color, shoes, etc, please let her know you’ve noticed this. Applaud her choice of rings or bracelet, unless of course it’s a wedding ring. When you shake her hand after meeting, bring up how soft her hands are at some point during the conversation. Even if it’s a joke about her never working or wearing gloves while doing dishes, let it fly. You don’t have to say it immediately after shaking her hand…keep it holstered for a while if you need to.
• Arms/stomach/legs- obviously you’re not going to say something lame like “nice arms,” but you do want to compliment these areas if they’re nice. The key is to do it very subtly. For example, if she has nice legs, you can say something like, “I can tell you really keep your legs in great shape, are you training for the half marathon this fall?” By saying this, you compliment her without making it seem like you’re checking her out (even though you are), and you’ve opened up the opportunity to talk about exercising. If you feel the need to comment on her stomach (if she’s showing it) you can say, “your abs are really nice, do you do more cardio or more crunches?” Of course you don’t care what exercise she does, but by asking her a question you seem less perverted, even though that’s exactly what you are if you’re ogling her mid section. Making things into a question comes off as less threatening, but it gets the point across that you notice the goods. If you want to invoke a bit of humor, you can say something like, “man, you’re all over that bicep curl,” if you want to illuminate her nice arms. You mentioned the exercise, not the arms, so you once again complimented her arms without even being clichéd.
• Clothes and accessories- women spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to find the perfect outfit that perfectly matches their accessories perfectly. If they did a good job at it, tell them. If the purse mixes well with the rings or watch, tell her. If you notice the dress, necklace, and shoes are in harmony, let the lady know, she probably planned that. Be sure to be specific so she knows that you’re not just BS-ing. Don’t say, “that’s a nice dress.” Say something more powerful like, “I really like that dress…that’s such a stunning shade of red.”
Single Guy, if you use these tips, complimenting women will come easy, and you won’t get slapped or looked upon as a creep. As always, originality is key. If you say something they’re not expecting, you’ve already got a man on first base with no outs. It takes just a bit of time and the skill of observation, but in no time, you’ll no longer be the douche whose best line is “wow, you’re so hot!”