Mailbag – November 2010


by AFM Dear Answers From Men, Can you settle a bet for me? I say that if Lebron wins 2 or more championships with the Heat, all the vitriol from The Decision and his Cleveland departure will be forgotten, and he can still be considered the GOAT. My buddy says that his legacy is forever tainted no matter what. Who’s right?

George; Madison, Wisconsin

George, LeBron could win 8 championships and would still not be considered the greatest of all-time. LeBron committed an unforgivable sin against his legacy when he left his team to chase after rings. No player that was considered to be the best in the league has ever left his team solely to join other established superstars and win championships; players that were considered the best at their position haven’t even done that. It is an honorable decision to leave his pride behind in Cleveland and win in Miami, but it does tarnish the public opinion of his place in history. My problem is not with LeBron though, but with the retired superstars that now ostracize him. Michael Jordan, though correct about the legacy of LeBron, has become a bitter, old man who only commented because he knew LeBron was a threat to his own legacy. And, Charles Barkley was completely hypocritical because he did the same thing by joining the Rockets late in his career. George, being the greatest player of all-time is not only about winning, it is also about how you win. If LeBron was the best player in the NBA, then good players would have come to Cleveland to join him, like they have with Kobe in L.A. Sorry, your buddy is right.

Dear Answers From Men,

I just met a lady 2 weeks ago, and she’s really cool. We’ve already gone on a few dates, and everything is clicking. Yesterday she didn’t technically invite me to her house for Thanksgiving, but she kinda did. She said, “If you’d like to come by on Thanksgiving you’re more than welcome. I have a really big family and people are coming and going all day long.”  Uh, what in the world should I do?

Mitch; Memphis, Tennessee
Mitch, your reticence should have answered this question for you. You are being cautious because you know that a two week relationship should not be exposed to a familial setting. She doesn’t know you, you won’t be able to get to know her because she will be distracted with family, and if her family doesn’t accept you, then the relationship is over. There are generally 3 reasons why a woman will ask a new guy to a family function so soon in a relationship. 1) It was love at first sight and/or she has fallen head over heels in love with you in a two week period (not likely, because you are not that awesome, let’s just be honest, Mitch). 2) She is completely unstable and has no concept of the appropriate time frame of milestones in a relationship (easily possible because there are quite a few irresponsible people in the world). 3) She is lonely with the holidays approaching and/or she wants to date someone when she enters the gift-giving gauntlet; most birthdays fall between November and February, then there is Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, and Valentine’s Day (face it Mitch, she’s using you).

Dear Answers From Men,

I think I have a crush on one of my buddy’s girlfriends. She and I have really good chemistry, and I actually think the two of us have more in common than do she and my buddy. I realize that me even thinking about all of that is breaking the man code. Please advise!!!

Greg; San Bernardino, California
One of your buddy’s girlfriends? How many does he have? If he has a few, tell him to hook you up with the one that you like. What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe a bloody nose, right? Greg, if you ever consider talking to one of your buddy’s  girlfriends, abort that mission immediately. The best outcome of that situation, is that you keep the friendship, get the girl, but lose the trust of one of your friends which compromises both relationships. The worst result is that you lose both a friend and a possible girlfriend. If you can not get past your infatuation with his lady, then wait until he breaks up with her, let a few months pass, and ask if he would be bothered if you called her. It’s still risky, but less intrusive and more tactful than asking while they are dating. Just be prepared for him to tell you about all the disgusting things they did together. But, that’s why you like her isn’t it Greg?

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