Paintball Is Dumb
There are two types of people that play paintball regularly, brain-dead people that really wanted to be in some form of military service or gun-toting, sadistic/masochistic idiots. And, the line between these two kinds of people is very slim. Paintball is the most pointless activity that a person could participate in voluntarily. Only morons play paintball on a consistent basis.
First of all, any activity that only takes place an hour outside of city limits in the woods is questionable at best. Walking into a paintball site is reminiscent of what goes through a person’s mind before a good old-fashioned lynching or a mob burial. Every venue for paintball is in a sparsely populated, densely wooded area. These paintball courses are full of guys that couldn’t serve in the army or on a police force for numerous reasons including but not limited to, being too fat, being too flat-footed, being too stupid to qualify, or just being too psychotic to trust with a gun. The other portion of guys are yokels from the NRA that come decked in full camouflaged gear, including a ski mask, padded vest, padded pants and have silencers for their semi-automatic paintball guns. But, they are all better than you at paintball, and they all want to play against you. You will show up in a bright red sweater, and be handed a pair of goggles and the paintball gun that is the equivalent of a slingshot with a few dozen paint balls. You will stand out like a confused deer with neon lights hanging from his antlers in the middle of hunting season and leave the course looking like you are wearing a full body tye-dye t-shirt.
In theory, paintball is a exciting competition that can be shared by friends on a lazy Saturday evening. In actuality, paintball is a forum for losers to hit each other with missiles of plastic covered paint. If I wanted to pay to be hit with random objects because I enjoy the pain, then there are a few “special” clubs in the city for that, and I imagine that they are a lot more fun.
Paying someone for this to happen to you is not fun.
Lol, isn’t this article the truth.
This is very innaccurate. I play paintball from time to time, not too often, but what was stated above is utterly false. The photo you showed is a guy who had clearly been hit from close range with the gun set to too high of a speed (fields test all guns before the games start). Paintballs are not plastic “missiles” covered in paint, rather a delicate plastic shell filled with a water based paint (making it washable). They rarely leave marks, the only time they leave a small bruise is when they don’t break. All other ones just leave a tiny little sting. Enough to know you are out but not enough to injure you. If you have ever set foot on a field you would realize that it is not full of belligerent jerks. The kid/adult split at the field I go to is 50/50 and people usual laugh about getting hit with the person who shot them after the match. Everyone is really friendly and it has a lower injury rate than bowling (1 in 4000 to be exact). Don’t talk about what you don’t know about.
Ummm….yeahhhh…. I personally played paintball on a course and took a few direct hit from long range and they all left welts. The friends that played with me took direct hits and were left with matching welts and some bruises. The two guys that took short range hits had bruises that covered large areas of there bodies accompanied by ugly bumps and a lot of pain. I am not calling you a “belligerent jerk” but the guys that we encountered were real bastards, and there is no way that I would knowingly pay to get pelted with paint balls again.