Real Super Bowl parties do not involve invitations. And, this is not a party.
I have been invited to two Super Bowl parties this week, and neither of those invitations was from a guy. One party was going to be a coed deal with mainly young professionals. The other party was a family friendly event, so men, women, and young children would all gather together to “watch” the big game. Seriously, what has happened to the sanctity of football’s final game of the season? Didn’t Super Bowl parties used to only involve men, alcohol, pizza, nachos, and once again just men? I’m not exactly sure when we lost our grip on this sacred event, but it certainly coincides with men no longer being men. Somehow it became okay for men to wear purses (aka messenger bags), wear makeup, and be called metrosexual. Some events just should not be coed, and the Super Bowl used to head that list. Women have no qualms inviting men to Super Bowl parties and baby showers now, and that is a huge problem. Clearly there are no longer men only events. How long will it be until women start expecting invitations to bachelor parties, or when bachelor and bachelorette parties become hybrid events? Watching the Super Bowl with women isn’t necessarily the issue. The biggest thing to me is watching the game with people who won’t really be watching the game. I don’t want to watch with a person who doesn’t like or watch football at, regardless of gender. When women and children are involved, however, they’re not going to be watching the game. Women inherently talk more than men, and that won’t stop just because the most important football game of the year is on. The women are going to talk to each other (drowning out the television), and of course they’re going to try to talk to their man. Furthermore, when you involve a group of children, there is going to be yelling, singing, and crying; none of which is conducive to hearing a television. Kids also like you to pay attention to them, so without question they’re going to seek you’re attention at the most inopportune time. Even if your special lady and/or kids are doing the best they can to leave you alone and let you watch in peace, the Super Bowl lasts about 4 hours. Try ignoring someone you love for 4 hours when your not doing anything. It may be easy for us, but we’d be completely enthralled by every pixel on the television screen. If you happen to have young kids, you can’t even stay for the whole party. The game usually ends after 10 PM, so you have to drive home while the game is going on to put the kids to sleep. This is obviously horrific, because you’re going to miss plenty of game time driving the family home. None of this is close to okay. By the way, I’m not going to either of those parties I was invited to. I’m going to combat this horrible trend, and stay at home with pizza, Budweiser, and my flat screen to enjoy the game in its entirety without interruption. This is how the Super Bowl was intended to be watched, and I will never be convinced otherwise.