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Random Rant 2

29 Apr

*Disclaimer – These thoughts were gathered from many men about numerous subjects. Some of them may be offensive to the fairer sex. Statements made by the author do not necessarily express the thoughts and beliefs of

1. Alimony is just ridiculous. If I have a net worth $40,000,000 when you meet me, and you have a net worth 0f $40,000, once we get married and divorced, I have to pay you alimony so that you can keep your raised standard of living? Women that start a relationship with a wealthy man and have nothing before it should leave the relationship with just that, nothing. If you break up your ex should not have to support you. You were eating ramen noodles before you met that rich guy, you can do it again.

2. Wealthy men that do not sign prenuptial agreements are idiots because of #1.

3. So are wealthy men that have unprotected sex with scandalous women.

4. So are poor women that date wealthy men and sign prenuptial agreements. They are stupid or insanely righteous. And, either way they are leaving without a dime when they could have half of their spouses’ financial worth.

5. Celebrities get free stuff. Really? The people that have access to the world because they get paid exorbitant wages to entertain us, do not pay for any of the things that the average person buys. Celebrities get free shoes, clothes, and food on a regular basis and it is not right.

6. If you are a male cheerleader, do not bring attention to yourself. Do not run on to the court prematurely. Do not throw the basketball into the air before the final buzzer of the game has sounded. In fact, just sit on the sidelines and cheer for the actual athletes with the ladies.

7. Maybe I’m impatient and possibly a tad bit morbid, but if I have been stuck in traffic for more than about twenty minutes, I want to see a demolished car at the other end of the jam. Traffic in metropolitan cities like Los Angeles, New York, and Houston is maddeningly stati0nary and completely frustrating. Without a ghastly accident at the end of a traffic jam, all the time spent there was just wasted.

8. If you smoke in your car with one window down you are an idiot for so many reasons. The first reason is that, by opening only one window, you are insuring that the smoke that you are trying to keep out of your car will circulate through it before leaving out of the window. You have to open two windows to give the air a pathway into the car and a pathway out of the car for any chance that your car will not smell like a cigar bar. Secondly, the smoke will ultimately disperse wherever it wants it too, so the whole window thing is an exercise in futility. And finally, smoking in your car takes your attention away from your initial activity, driving.

9. Why is there always a homeless guys in children’s shows. Sesame Street has Oscar the Grouch who lives in a trash can. Dora the Explorer has the Grumpy Old Troll who lives under the bridge. Aladdin was a street punk and a thief. I’m all for teaching kids about real life, but why don’t we just call these guys vagrants instead saying that they are grumpy.

10. 1 in 4 relationships now start online. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I remember when guys used to just approach women that they thought were attractive in public. Is it so difficult to converse with real people that computers are taking over for us? People can be whoever they want to be on the internet. Guys with no confidence become cocky, self-assured men until you met them for the first date. Nice guys transform into players once you are intimate. These two men make up most of the online dating pool, socially awkward men that are outgoing online, and men trolling for tail. People should date people, not computer screens.

11. Professional athletes, you should not let your family control your money. You will be broke. See Vince Young, Ricky Williams, Antoine Walker, and in the distant future LeBron James. Hire people that are trained to handle money to invest for you and check their numbers with an outside source to insure that they are not screwing you. Merril Lynch will not lose your money. Pookie and Tay Tay from the block will ruin you financially.

12. Professional sports have been effectively neutered. There are no rivalries in basketball because everyone has played AAU basketball together from grade school until college and the commissioner squashes any fights or smaller turmoil with suspensions and fines. There is no more hitting in football. That’s right, the sport that once glorified hard collisions now disallow any contact. And baseball is irrelevant.

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