September 9, 2011
Various experiences shape and cultivate your personality as a person, and some experiences are more profound than others. Since men mature at a more deliberate pace than women normally do, it seemed necessary to share the experiences that every man needs to become a better version of himself.
Every man should be forced to work in the restaurant industry as a server for at least 6 months. Though our most popular eating establishments might suffer a few financial losses, mankind would be well served by this. Becoming a server does at least three things for a man.
First, it humbles him. There are countless smaller, significant jobs that are entailed in waiting tables, and the corresponding learned behaviors that are needed to execute these smaller jobs are not present in every man prior to taking this job. But, working through the subtleties of cleaning the table to both the supervisor’s and patron’s standards, refilling condiments and glasses, and accounting for the money that they have earned the company ensures that cleanliness, attentiveness, and financial responsibility are learned by the workers.
Secondly, becoming a waiter forces men to be courteous and polite in the most stressful situations. Every patron that enters the restaurant and particularly the section of any server has a different disposition, temperament, background, and set of circumstances that led them to eat there. Some customers exude happiness and are a pleasure to serve. Others are ignorant, impatient, and downright abrasive. On these occasions, being a server teaches men how to be gracious, affable, and accommodating in adverse situations. As an adult, most circumstances call for a more refined approach rather than a brutish confrontation.
And finally, waiting tables teaches men how to read and connect with people. The patron in a restaurant is not just buying food, they are buying their server also. Their dining experience relies on the server’s ability to give them their food, and be a listening ear, tell them a quick joke, or any number of other things. A good server dissects his patron and relates to them on a personal level. They also anticipate the customer’s needs by observing their behaviors. Great servers understand their customers. And, once again, the livelihood of every member of a waitstaff is contingent on their customers’ tips, so it would behoove men to learn their craft.
Having a Daughter
Having a child is a life-changing experience, but having a daughter changes a man’s perspective of both himself and the world around him. As a man, raising a baby boy is fun and exciting. Men remember all their childhood experiences at various ages and get to relive them with their sons. Baby boys follows their fathers like little puppies at first, and then slowly metamorphose into young men and friends capable of making their own decisions. The boys become men and they treat them accordingly, guiding and disciplining them as needed. But men do not have to mature to raise a son. The blueprint for that is already set. Having a daughter changes men’s perception of women and the world. Daughters force their fathers to connect with them emotionally. Whereas, sons are told to stop crying and to tough out both physical and emotional injuries, daughters allowed open emoting and seek consoling. Boys are taught to fend for themselves, but daughters are always protected by their fathers. Men that were womanizers teach their sons the same poor behaviors, but change their behaviors for their daughters. A son makes a man feel proud and virile. A daughter softens him emotionally and helps him to be vulnerable. Having a daughter changes a man.
Getting into a Fist Fight
There is no bigger measure of a man than to stand against another man, exchange a few blows, and shake hands afterward and walk away. Fights do not prove anything. The points of the argument are lost, the credibility of the the two fighters is dismissed the second they throw a punch, and violence rarely solves anything, but there is honor in anyone having enough conviction to risk bodily harm over a subject. And, other men respect a man with convictions regardless of how ignorant they may be.
Leaving the nest for the first time is a rite of passage for men. Sooner or later the house that a man was raised in will become too small for both him and his parents. There may be disagreements over curfew, consumption of food, or use of the utilities, but it will happen and they will all reach a breaking point. The man will have to move out. But, when a he is forced to fend for himself, he gets an appreciation for all the smaller amenities that his parents allowed under their roof, and understands the reasons for the restrictions that they placed on him. When living on his own, a man finally realizes that if he does not budget enough money for laundry, then his clothes will look and smell horrible. He learns that if he does not plan meals in advance, then he may not have food to eat at the end of the week. Becoming self-sufficient is one of the most important steps to reaching manhood and it can only be reached when a man is forced to rely on himself. Surviving on his own strengthens his resolve for future responsibilities and hardships, and the time that men spend living by themselves readies them for co-habitation.
Living with a Woman
There is a massive difference between dating a woman and living with a woman. And, most men do not become conscious of or fully comprehend this until they have done it. Whether it is by socialization or by biology, men and women are different. Men tend to be more direct and concrete, saying their desires bluntly and insensitively. Women more indirect and interpretive, internalizing the meaning of actions and words. Men are more apt to express their love through their actions, and women generally vocalize their affections openly. Living in close capacity with a woman forces a guy to emote more regularly Though uncomfortable at first, this ultimately helps a guy to understand himself better.
In addition to being more mature emotionally, once co-habitation is actualized people begin to see each other wholly for the first time. Though men will never fully understand women, they can begin to comprehend some of their behaviors. Men find out that with women, sometimes they do not want a solution, they simply want to talk. The venting is cathartic and necessary.