October 18, 2011
Every man wants to date a size two supermodel with a huge rack and nice hips, but that just is not possible for most guys. Supermodels generally date incredibly handsome, incredibly wealthy guys, or the fellows who are both good-looking and rich (Everyone hates you Tom Brady). Most men date find themselves with average women. But, there is one group of women that have been largely ignored, the big girls. Big women have countless attributes that the average man would love.
1. Big women have bigger boobs – Bigger breasts is an obvious advantage to dating larger women. Breast tissue is mostly fat and the bigger a woman gets the more likely that her breast size increases first. In fact, women generally gain weight in their hips and their bust before they add inches anywhere else on their body. A little extra weight can help can help boost some women’s physiques.
2. Big girls are not afraid to eat – When you take a skinny woman out, inevitably she orders some water and a side salad and is bitchy and irritable for the rest of the meal. She complains about her figure incessantly and harasses the waiter, because she is hungry. Big women do not have this issue. If you date a fat girl, then the two of you will eat when you go out. Hell, she may pay for the meal too. Fat girls are not afraid to put away a few plates of food at the buffet, and they are probably decent with an apron on too.
3. Fat girls are more comfortable in their own skin – Women with a few more pounds are accustomed to other women getting more attention than they do, and they know themselves better because of it. Big women mature faster, and therefore are more confident in who they are as people. Because they know themselves, they are more fun to be around. They are more likely to love sports, more willing to try new things, and better company in general. Big girls are also low maintenance. They do things for themselves rather than asking for you to do them. Fat women are usually very handy around the house. And, they are well-equipped for dealing with your terrible attitude because they are used to dealing with selfish friends. Every big girl has a hot friend that is also a bitch. You could take that friend’s place.
4. Big women are more comfortable with their bodies – People think that the hottest women are the best in bed. This is a horrible lie. The women that men fawn over are invariably boring and uncreative at sex. Most men are just happy to sleep with hot women, so those women never learn to please themselves or their partners. Big girls are comfortable with themselves sexually. They know what they want and they know how to please. They are usually attentive to their partners and very animated in the bedroom. Big women love sex and a good number are orally fixated. Big girls know how to keep their man happy.
5. Big girls will keep you warm in the winter – Whales swim in the freezing cold waters of the Pacific. Polar bears survive in the Arctic despite living on the frozen tundra. The lesson here is that fat is warm. When winter comes, you are going to need someone to keep you warm, and a beanpole with a head full of extensions is not going to do the job. Tiny girls will not keep you toasty on those long, winter nights and they will probably ask you for your jacket. But, the big girls will hold on to you through the night, and no one is more warm or cuddly than they are. Holding a large woman is like wrapping yourself around the softest, warmest pillow that you could imagine. A fun, lighthearted pillow with big boobs.