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October 2011

3 Nov

Dear Answers From Men,

Which will start first, the NFL playoffs or the NBA season?  I think the NBA season because the players will easily cave when they don’t have money to pay their entourage guys, five car notes, and all those child support bills.  What do you think?

Eddie; Biloxi, Mississippi

Well, Eddie you are right. A lot of professional athletes make poor decisions with their finances, because they think that they have enough money to last a lifetime. Baseball guys like Johnny Damon have been swindled out of hundreds of thousands of dollars by smooth-talking business men. NBA athletes notoriously spend well over their means, going into debt because they think that they can afford it. The average NBA career is about 4 to 6 years depending on who you ask, and the average player earns about $3-8 million during that period. Once they’ve bought a few cars and a house or two, they are flat broke. I imagine there are quite a few NBA players borrowing money right now to keep from losing assets. They can’t last longer than another month.


Dear Answers From Men,

Who do you think will spend more time in jail in 2012, Conrad Murray or Lindsay Lohan?

Phillip; Santa Barbara, California

Oh Phil, Lindsay Lohan is only guilty of using a few too many drugs, blowing a couple of homeless guys, and killing her own lucrative career. Conrad Murray is guilty, at least in the court of public opinion, of killing the world’s best entertainer. Lindsay will only get a few days in jail, if that, and Murray is going to be gang-raped by real killers in a dingy prison for a long time.


Dear Answers From Men,

Which actors/actresses in Hollywood do you think would still be famous if they weren’t physically attractive?

Alvin; Buffalo, New York

There are exactly three actors/actresses who would still be famous if they were not attractive, Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, and Charlize Thereon.Will Smith might have made the list, but he was more famous for rap and comedy than he was for good looks, until he became a serious actor. Leonardo is pound for pound the best actor on the planet. He gives the full gamut of acting skills including, but not limited to convincing foreign accents, challenging emotions like crying believably, and he even set the standard for playing a mentally challenged person. Johnny Depp is one of the few actors that is hurt by being attractive. People seldom realize how talented he is, because he gets lost in the character that he is playing and they get lost watching him. And, Thereon is one of the most beautiful actresses on the planet. But, she convinced the world that she was an ugly serial killer in the movie Monster. If that isn’t acting, I’m not sure what is.



Dear Answers From Men,

I’m skinny and kinda nerdy looking so I’m trying to figure out which will get me laid faster: learning to do magic tricks or to play the guitar.  I figure guitar players have more groupies, but it will probably take me a long time to get good enough to get chicks from it.  I know I won’t get as many girls from magic, but I bet I can perfect some good tricks in a matter of weeks.  Which should I choose?

Skip; Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Skip, there are three things that can help any man to be more attractive to women, better grooming, better clothing, and confidence. If you want to met women skip the gimmicks and get a new haircut. Look at a few men’s magazines and pick a trendy ‘do, or go to a female hairstylist and trust her with your hairstyle. You may not like what she does with it, but other women will. Make sure that you are clean shaven when leave the house. Looking well-groomed is attractive. In the same magazine, find some clothes that you would feel comfortable wearing in public. Go to the nearest Saks and ask for them. Women notice trends in fashion. Finally, you have to find some confidence. Women are attracted to men that know that they have something to offer. If, none of this works, go with the guitar. It takes more practice, but at least women won’t laugh at you when you pull a rabbit out of a hat.

Trust us, this guy isn’t getting laid

… him either

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