Now that March Madness is coming to an end, we can all say goodbye to one of the most annoying people ever … bracket guy. This is the loser who knows absolutely nothing about sports, but annoys everyone with incessant discussion about their bracket. This hack didn’t know the difference between Kansas and Kansas State one month ago, but is now the official expert on all things college basketball. Not only that, he provides continual updates about the status of his bracket, as if anyone cares. Is there anyone in the world who cares about a bracket that isn’t their own? Of course bracket guy did a 5 minute Google search on March Madness right before the tournament starts so he knows that a 12 seed has beaten a 5 seed in over 90% of the 64 team tournaments. When that upset happens, it is a guarantee that bracket guy is shouting from the rooftops how he got that pick right, and wondering how no one else knew it would happen. Bracket guy is unfazed when a nationally esteemed team is upset because, “Oh, I had them losing in the next round any way.” He doesn’t care about seeing a great game, or even watching any of the games at all for that matter. It’s always sad when the calendar turns to April and only one NCAA game remains, but it’s equally as satisfying to not have to encounter bracket guy for another 11 months.
Stupid Facebook People
Mark Zuckerberg’s ubiquitous creation has provided illumination to a growing host of idiots. My biggest annoyances are when someone changes their status from married to single. Invariably the first idiot will respond with a comment saying, “Yay!!!” Idiot #2 will write something like “Oh no, what happened?” Lastly, idiot #3 will say, “Call me ASAP.” Idiot #2 is completely insufferable because they honestly expect for the newly divorced person to outline what went wrong in the divorce right on their Facebook page. The third idiot is even worse. He/she is completely entitled, and thinks that they are actually friends with the divorced person, despite not ever seeing or talking to them in months. If they had actually taken the time to call their “friend” on a semi-regular basis, they would have known something about the troubled marriage, and not need to demand a phone call. My other pet peeve is people who type status updates like “still sitting in the emergency room with little Johnny,” or “still waiting for the police to arrive.” These people are attention whores; saying something just cryptic enough to plead for people to inquire what’s wrong without physically asking.
This is an actual exchange from Facebook just last week (only the names have been changed):
Stephanie went from being “married” to “single.”
- 3 people like this.
Hanna Omg leave it alone already she will give her a minute jeez
March 25 at 9:11pm · Like · 1
March 25 at 9:17pm · Like · 1
Tina hell yeah.
March 25 at 9:28pm · Like
Tammy people in this family are toxic. just sayin. i hope you are ok!
March 25 at 9:29pm · Like · 1
Zach Wow my family gone crazy! Still love y’all all
March 25 at 9:40pm · Like · 1
Brittany Hey Stephanie…hope you are doing ok…Love ya girl!
March 26 at 12:04am · Like · 1
Margaret Hope you are doing ok Stephanie!
Steve Call me.
A friend of mine had their house robbed earlier this week. Worst thing about the situation is that she has an alarm system with a nationally based company. Petty thieves may not be very clever or accomplished, but they are smart enough to know that after an alarm goes off they have at least five minutes before the police are dispatched to the scene. With the ever shrinking girth of flat screen televisions, it doesn’t take anywhere near five minutes for two reasonably sized men to pilfer a plasma from the living room. Going upstairs or exploring further in the house is unnecessary and too risky when there’s a guaranteed score with the flat screen. At any rate, when someone gets burglarized they feel completely violated. Having some uninvited stranger sauntering through the house makes anyone feel uneasy, especially because there is no assurance that they won’t do it again. If they can be successful committing the crime despite the alarm, their confidence for a triumphant return visit has to be exceedingly high. I despise people who take advantage of others through heinous means. Abusing the elderly, children, or mentally/physically challenged individuals is the worst thing ever. Stealing falls into this category, as people work their ass off to get their possessions. To all the active or aspiring criminals: put down the crowbar, take off the ski mask, and start filling out some job applications bastard.