Sarah Brick – Sarah Brick says that people hate her because she is beautiful. Sarah Brick looks like this.*
This is what happens when men do not tell their girlfriends and wives the truth. Telling a woman that she is beautiful when she is average at best is hurtful to society. Women with tiger shark teeth need someone who will tell them not to smile, and to keep their mouths closed at all costs, not someone to pump their heads full of false dreams and hope. Any free paraphernalia that Sarah Brick has accumulated over the years has been due to fact that men will to do whatever it takes sleep with a woman, not due to her “beauty.” Men are pigs. She looks like what happens when Courtney Love and Tom Arnold meet in a hotel room, get hammered, and don’t use condoms. Are muffin tops the new rage in the world of fashion? Have society’s standards of beauty switched from slim, youthful women to middle-aged doughy ones? How in the hell has a woman lived fifty years with that face held on to the idea that she is cute. After 12 shots of tequila and being shot down by actual hot women all night, Sarah Brick probably starts to look like Kate Upton to the horny guy at the end of the bar, but in the real world she is not at all attractive. And the narcissistic attitude that she conveys proves that her outside matches her inside.
William Hung – In what world does a tiny, tone-deaf man that looks like a dung beetle think that he will be the world’s next music superstar? That only happens in the world of American Idol. William Hung went from completely unknown college student to worldwide phenom despite having no musical talent. He yelled at tones that were only audible to dogs and was promptly berated by Simon Cowell, a former talent producer and one of the judges. Instead of listening to Cowell’s assessment of his God-awful performance and giving up on a musical career, Hung vowed success. And because America loves the underdog, they backed him when he released his first album where he “sang” all of his favorite songs. Now, he still does not know how bad of a singer that he actually is and he has tasted fame too.
The Most Interesting Man in the World – Yes, we have all heard that his blood smells like cologne, sharks have a week dedicated to him, he can speak Russian in French, his mom has a tattoo that reads “Son”. When he is in Rome, the Romans do as he does, and if he were to punch you in the face, then you would have to fight off the strong urge to thank him. But something is wrong with a guy that believes all this about himself.
Britney Spears – She does not believe in bras or the effects the laws of gravity have on objects not contained by bras.
Barack Obama – “Yes we can?” No, Mr. President you can’t. The leader of the free world laughably thought that he could save the economy and bring the American people out of the biggest depression since, well, the Great Depression. He was obviously very wrong. Between the Republican party literally fighting him on every bill, terrible unemployment percentages (specifically in minorities), and ever-inflating gas prices, Obama has not accomplished anything that he set out to do and is now campaigning for another term. He only won the previous election because his opponent literally made 90% of the same votes as George W. Bush who spiraled America into this recession in the first place. Yes, he caught one of the most diabolical terrorists in the history of the planet, but Obama’s time as president is probably over. *For the full article about Sarah Brick, visit here.