5. Tom Brady- The most popular person in Massachusetts is also easily the worst player interview in the state. Of course everyone on the Patriots completely toes the company line whenever a camera is on, but Brady takes it to the next level. He’s the leader and best player on the team, so despite being asked the most (and most difficult) questions, he gives his usual vague answers that involve lionizing the opponent, references to his coach’s game plan, useless phrases like preparation, teamwork, and unity, and lastly mentioning taking things one game/day/practice at a time.
4. Kobe Bryant- The “Black Mamba” essentially does the exact same thing Tom Brady does, but every so often he lets loose when he’s frustrated. For example, last week he took a not so veiled shot at a few of his teammates when he said about the return of Metta World Peace from suspension, “He’s the one guy that I can rely on night in and night out to compete and play hard and play with that sense of urgency and play with no fear.” Somehow Bryant skates by despite randomly throwing his comrades under the bus. Other than those occasional moments, listening to him is just as boring as listening to Brady.
3. Alex Rodriguez- ARod is the quintessential guy who just tries way too hard to be cool. Unfortunately there is just no cure for this ailment (also shared by Dwight Howard, Lebron James, and many others). He initially tried to be open and honest, but when that didn’t work he tried to steal a page out of the Derek Jeter/Tom Brady/Kobe Bryant handbook, and say little to nothing of substance. Everyone could tell how unnatural and forced it all was, so he tried to be engaging again. Regrettably he fails every single time. When posed a question on Jeremy Lin ARod initially does a good job saying a lot without really saying anything, but at the end, he tries to be cool again … per usual it ends in a big fail.
2. Any hockey player- No matter where a hockey player is from, what team they play on, the score of the game, or if they produced any goals, they all say the same exact thing in a prominent Canadian accent. Mention having to outwork the opponent, continually drip in sweat, never look at the camera, and the letter “y” to every teammate’s name, and say “ah” prior to every sentence. I love the NHL, but find every single player or coach interview beyond useless. It’s really a shame because they’re mainly all great guys, but there’s no way to sell the sport when the fringe fan doesn’t have a dynamic personality drawing them to watch.
1. Tiger Woods- ZZZZZ … Woods never, ever says anything that isn’t in relation to his driving, short game, putting, club selection, or course conditions. Even when he came clean about his infidelity, all he said was either “it’s private,” “it’s in the police report,” or “that’s between Elin and myself.” To make matters worse Tiger’s interview questions are often prescreened, so there is absolutely no spontaneity to anything. Spend time elsewhere; don’t waste a single moment listening to this guy whenever he’s behind a microphone. Here’s Tiger being incredibly “candid” and “hilarious” answering questions from some of his Twitter followers.