Love is a verb
It ain’t a thing
It’s not something you own
It’s not something you scream
This probably isn’t novel information to anyone, but America was founded on Judeo-Christian beliefs. With that being said, love and the institution of marriage in this country have biblical roots. It’s impossible to have a comprehensive discussion on fundamental tenants of love and marriage like sacrifice, selflessness, and compromise without mentioning Jesus. His life and teachings of unconditional love serves as the blueprint for nearly every sermon given at a wedding ceremony. The first book of Corinthians chapter 13 verses 4-8 (written by the apostle Paul) gives a very nice definition of what love is. Ephesians chapter 5 beginning with verse 22 nicely conveys the selfless love husbands and wives should have for each other. Yes love makes people feel and think in a certain way, but love is actually a verb. I apologize for seemingly taking all the fantasy out of love and making it seem less surreal, but to actually bestow love on someone is a choice. Love is an action verb. No matter how far we’ve come with gender equality, men still do yeoman’s work in terms of pursing the woman and initiating the progression of the relationship. Needless to say this is far from easy. Men need all the help they can get with this concept, so here are five ways that guys can actually turn the love into an action verb for their special woman.
Actually love her
The first step in making love an action verb is to in fact love the women one is dating. This may seem obvious, but in reality more times than not people are in a relationship for inappropriate reasons:
He/she is rich and/or powerful
He/she is good in bed
He/she and I have been together for a really long time
He/she is really good with my children
He/she is well, good enough
Don’t fall victim to this nonsense. To be perfectly clear, it is not possible to be in love with a person one just isn’t in love with. All of those action verbs become harder to achieve and maintain, sentimental words seem much less genuine, and all this misguided effort does is prolong the inevitable breakup.
Methinks they’re breaking rules #1 and 2
There are innumerable ways to show a partner how much they are loved. Anything goes from flowers, thoughtful notes, extra special dates, a meaningful look and smile, an extra long hug, a passionate kiss, and most especially making time for them. Will we miss a game or hanging out with the fellas to spend time with them? How easily will we step out of a comfort zone for her benefit, or the development of the couple? These things are important because as the love grows the thought process should morph into a discussion of “we” versus “I.” All of these gestures should be self mediated. Getting a woman flowers because she’s mad at something stupid we said or did or because she asks for them isn’t showing love, it’s called placating.
I said love was an action verb, so a requisite action is telling the lovely lady how awesome she is. No one gets tired of hearing how wonderful they make someone feel, how special they are, and how they make another person’s life much better. This is a really great place to be in because all those emotional, abstract feelings that love produces, men can express orally to their mate. Men don’t necessarily express emotions naturally, so if we’re able to do this, it really shows how much we care. An easy argument against this behavior is that talk is cheap. I fully concur. If these words are not accompanied by any action than they’re worthless; taken in concert with other signs of love the outcome is absolutely amazing. By the way, it’s okay to do this often.
Listen to her
Women on average talk much more than men. Listening is difficult to begin with, but when one considers trying to listen to someone who says roughly three times as many words in a day, the task seems impossible. Well this is where the action comes in. Being attentive is a skill that requires honing, just like shooting a basketball, billiards, Call of Duty, or Madden. If one wants to get better at listening, put in some effort. Don’t surf the net, play video games, or watch television while on the phone. Don’t interrupt or construct a rebuttal to her opinion while she’s talking. Actually listen! Everyone enjoys to be listened to, and she will love it if what she mentioned in passing is referenced days, weeks, months, or years later. This will let her know that she is indeed cherished and appreciated.
Allow her to reciprocate the love
Even though men are supposed to be the “chasers,” things can’t be completely one sided. Although possibly difficult at first, guys have to learn how to let their guards down a touch so that the woman can feel welcome. Love is a two way street, so the action we need to take in this regard is letting her know what we need from her, what she’s doing great, and possible areas of improvement. This takes a good bit of introspection, so it’s important that we actually have a mental inventory of the traits we would want in a mate, know what we actually desire out of the relationship, and be fully aware of the things that would just be a deal breaker.