Random Rants 9


Signs the world is coming to an end in 2012…

 

When zombies attack

Apparently an episode of Dawn of the Dead has broken out across the fruited plains of America.  In Florida a naked man, Rudy Eugene, was shot and killed by police, but not before he savagely ate the face of an innocent homeless victim named Ronald Poppo.  Poppo had his eye gouged out, but also his nose, lips, forehead, and one eyelid were devoured by the crazed Eugene.

In Maryland, 21 year old college student, Alexander Kinyua, was charged with murder after he admits to eating the heart and brain of his roommate Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie on May 19th.

Obviously Eugene and Kinyua are not literal zombies, but seriously, what in the world is going on with all the cannibalism?  Eugene was apparently intoxicated on bath salts, which has become the newest online public enemy #1.  Apparently these bath salts have garnered acclaim by users because they’re not detected by traditional drug tests.  On some level I understand the importance of using a substance that is undetectable, but not something that will make me eat other people, try to use a meat cleaver on my arm, or think that I’m being chased by electricity (all things people high on bath salts have been reported doing).  Can we all agree to start using safe drugs again?

 

 

LA King Stanley Cup

The Los Angeles Kings are up 3-1 in the Stanley Cup Finals against the overmatched New Jersey Devils.  This will mark the 21st straight year a Canadian team has not hoisted the cup.  Not only that, this will be the second championship team from southern California in the last 6 years.  What has happened to the Canadian national past-time that teams in cities which have literally never had snow are dominating the hockey world?  The Kings have been an utterly shameful franchise ever since Wayne Gretzky left, and haven’t gone to the Finals ever since Gretzky’s team lost to the Montreal Canadiens in 1993.  This iconic Kings team is the 8th seed in the Western Conference, has only one star player (goalie Jonathan Quick), and may not even make the playoffs next year.  2012 is a going to be magical year for the Kings, but they better savor it forever, because it may never happen again.

 

 

Romney wins nomination

Despite running in a season where partisanship is at an all time high, Mitt Romney secured the Republican nomination for president.  The coffers of his campaign fund and supportive Super Pac easily dwarfed his competitors, but his victory in such a conservative landscape is surprising.  Romney’s opponents dubbed him a Massachusetts moderate, a liberal, more left than Obama, and other demonizing terms for someone trying to impress the GOP.  Although his competition wasn’t a collection of the Republican Party’s best and brightest, he marched on at a consistent (albeit at times boring) pace, and continued to amass delegates, dollars, and endorsements along the way.  What’s amazing about all of this is that a guy whose own party wasn’t excited about could most certainly win the election.  Romney and Obama are running neck and neck, and probably will all the way until Election Day.  Romney went for being a moderate republican, to a conservative stalwart during the GOP primaries, and now must go back to being moderate to beat Obama.  All of this is so surprising, but at the same time could easily happen when America hits the polls in November.

 


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