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January … the Month for Douches

1 Feb

Phil Gingrey

Georgia Congressman Dr. Gingrey, who is actually an OB/Gyn, said on the 10th during a local Chamber of Commerce meeting that Representative Todd Akin was “partly right” when he said women’s bodies can avoid pregnancy in cases of “legitimate rape.”  He probably wanted that little nugget back.


Lance Armstrong

Armstrong give the weakest, least contrite “apology” ever to Oprah Winfrey on the 14th over the course of a two day TV segment (airing on the 17th and 18th).  Despite lying, bullying, and conning countless people for years, he talks in lawyer speak for two hours, and somehow pretends to not know details of his alleged doping.  Very weak performance by this epic loser.


FYI, he’s still lying…



I don’t really have an opinion about their policies, because I understand that they’re more financially based as opposed to ethically based.  The problem is with the ad they release on the 16th mentioning Obama’s children.  It’s perfectly okay to rail on the president and his failed policies, but dragging someone’s kids into a political debate is hitting way south of the belt.


Bill Belichick

Another loss, another showing of lack of sportsmanship.  After getting spanked by the Ravens in the AFC title game on the 20th, Belichick chose to stiff CBS and not do the postgame interview.  Part of being a headcoach is taking the responsibility for talking to the media after a loss, no matter how much it hurts.  His adversary two years in a row, John Harbaugh, didn’t skate from his obligation when the Ravens lost in a heartbreaker to Belichick’s Patriots one year earlier.  Show some class Belichick … this is why people find it so hard to root for a team like the Patriots even though they play so hard and have no knuckleheads on their team.


Mike D’Antoni

Somehow he thinks it’s a good idea to publically humiliate one of his best players.  Soon after showing up D’Antoni benches Pau Gasol in fourth quarters, then on the 21st he ultimately takes his starting spot away for none other than Earl Clark!  By my count the ring count is Gasol 2 and D’Antoni 0.  If the genius coach thinks he’s going to win a ring while alienating his all-star power forward, he’s sadly mistaken.


Sure is lonely over here …


Victoria Azarenka

During her semifinal match against upstart American Sloane Stevens on the 24th, Azarenka took a very questionable medical timeout.  Stevens was starting to build momentum, and Azarenka took a 10 minute break to fix her rattled nerves.  Her story kept changing, and by the third explanation she needed help with one of her ribs because she couldn’t breathe.  Maybe she couldn’t breathe because she was starting to choke.  At any rate she probably would have won the match anyway, but faking injury never goes over well.


She needs a timeout to get a nice big hug!


Randy Moss

On Tuesday the 27th Moss claimed that he was the greatest receiver who ever played the game.  Either he’s crazy or painfully naïve.  As a 49er fan, whatever it takes for him to get pumped up to play this Sunday is okay with me.  What’s hilarious is that playing for the 49ers all year he’s clearly been exposed to the greatness of Jerry Rice and his 4 Super Bowl rings.  Moss may have been the most feared receiver his whole career, but he’s nowhere near the best.



This guy never seems to be able to escape creating a circus.  Pages and pages of the intimate details of his alleged PED usage have consumed the internet since the 28th.  Of course he denies it, but does anyone believe what he says anymore?  His whole life and career are a big fraud.


You forgot something Alex


Den Bosch fans

The Dutch fans rooting for their home team showed the opposite of class by making monkey chants at opposing player Jozy Altidore on Tuesday the 29th.  Such pathetic displays of racism are incredibly disappointing, especially because there isn’t really a good way to keep these low lives out of the stadium.


Dr. Phil

McGraw has made a career going after low hanging fruit.  He came through once again by interviewing the man starring behind the whole Manti Te’o fiasco, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo on the 30th.  Sure Phil is going to ask his tough questions, but seriously, who would believe anything Tuiasospo says at this point?  Does McGraw need ratings so badly that he has to gravy train this story when it was already on its last legs?  Stay classy Phil.


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