This article was originally submitted on 5/22/11
by Rodimus Dunn
Allegedly the world was supposed to end yesterday. I’m writing this piece on May 22nd, so unless Armageddon only involved a few introverted people that no one cared much about, it probably didn’t happen. I simply can’t wrap my brain around the fact that countless people will believe anything they read or hear. To sum it all up, some 89 year old “pastor” pulled out his scientific calculator, crunched some numbers, and determined that everything would end on May 21, 2011 at 6 PM (not sure if it was eastern, central, or pacific time). I’m sure it took him a long time to figure all that out, but it just makes no sense. If the formula or equation for God’s stopwatch is so obvious to figure out, how come no one came to the same conclusion? What makes this kook so special? Furthermore, who double checked his math? How do we know he didn’t accidentally leave out a decimal point, or press the wrong key on his calculator? These are valid questions because this same douche said the world was going to end in 1988 and in 1994. He was already 0 for 2, yet scores of idiots followed his idea.
Although I think Harold Camping is a scumbag, I also think he’s a rather intelligent fellow. People will make very irrational decisions based upon their religious convictions, and he certainly profited from this. A very quick internet search reveals that Camping’s radio company received copious amounts of donations (because people didn’t think they would need their money if the world ended), and he’s not giving any of it back. Why should he? If some random engineer knocked on your door and asked for a donation because the earth will run out of water in 3 months, would you give any money? Of course not, because it makes no sense. How would that particular engineer be privy to information that literally no one else in the world has? Besides, if everyone is going to die, why should I give you my money? Are you not also going to die?!? This is the argument that baffles me the most; why give money to a man that should suffer the same fate as everyone else? Camping took advantage of fanatics, people with low IQs, and those grasping answers anywhere they can find them. Not only that, those who accepted money to watch the pets of those who were supposed to disappear from Earth made a mockery of those who have a very misguided sense of loyalty.
In 1938 George Orwell wrote the following: “But I have always thought there might be a lot of cash in starting a new religion…” L. Ron Hubbard, the creator of Scientology, is infamously known for saying (amongst other things), “You don’t get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion,” and “The only way you can control anybody is to lie to them.” Camping didn’t create a religion, but he added a chapter to the world’s most popular religion that had never been penned. Furthermore, he was intentionally misleading about the world ending for the third time (or he’s just really, really bad at math). At any rate, he was paying close attention to two of his more acclaimed contemporaries, and lied his way to greater riches and even more fame. Sadly, those less fortunate intellectually and emotionally will hang on his every word, including his stance that the world will end again on October 21, 2011.