November 28, 2013 by William Bixby
Thanksgiving is a time gratefulness and of sharing gracious thoughts and wishes with loved ones. And we all have a lot to be thankful for each day. Men, in particular, are incredibly lucky. And, below is the list of reasons why men should be giving thanks on this Thanksgiving.
Men are infinitely more lucky than women in that we have women as mates. Women are more insightful and nurturing than men. And though that desire for emotional connection can be annoying and frustrating to men at times, connecting on a higher level with another person is both necessary and fulfilling. Women teach men maturity and communication through the forced expression of our emotions and we are better for it. And in addition to the lessons in emotional expressions, women are also physically breathtaking. Even women and gay men appreciate the natural curves of an attractive woman. From the nape of their necks to the simple, transition between their waist and hips to their petite feet, women are aesthetically beautiful.
Beer is the reason that a 300 lb. man who stands only 5 feet and 2 inches can attempt to bed a supermodel. Beer is the reason that that supermodel may actually sleep with him (that and a few roofies). Beer is the reason that your favorite team is tolerable while they are “rebuilding.” Beer is as diverse and delicious as the Brazilian swimsuit team and it makes almost any situation better. Have you just lost your girlfriend to a guy who is better than you in every conceivable way? He’s taller, more handsome, and your ex just told you that he is bigger down there too. He made her body do things that she did not know it would do. Have a few beers and I promise you will forget all about it for a few hours. And when you wake up and remember your ex, drink some more. Beers make everything better. Have you just lost your job, been kicked out of your apartment, and found out that your dog has worms? Drink some beers. Your day can not get any worse.
To paraphrase ESPN sports anchor Scott Van Pelt, I wish that I was more read. I wish that I was engulfed in a wider breadth of cultural and intellectual subjects, but sports is what does it for me. It is the only arena where you can watch the same franchises do the same thing over and over again and get different results every time. It is the only event where you and 50,000 of your best friends can meet up and cheer for your team together in the elements. Sports creates rivalries and friendships. I makes those extended family gatherings less awkward. Sports is one of the few things in the world that brings people from all walks of life together.