Ask A Black Guy: All Your Questions Answered


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This article was originally posted on June 24, 2012. Enjoy.


Why Do Black People Like Fried Chicken So Much?

I think that you are trying to piss me off. Everybody likes fried chicken. If you can name a group of people that say that they do not eat fried chicken, then I can show you a pack of liars. People that do not regularly eat fried food will attack a bucket of chicken like sharks with chum in the water. We have to get past ignorance people. Black people do not like chicken, watermelon, or big booties better than any other race. J-Lo proved the last one.

Why Do Black People Argue Against Affirmative Action for the Gay/Lesbian Community?

Black people have no problem with the gay and lesbian community. Shit, undercover brothers make up a big portion of the gay community, and black people represent a larger percentage of the gay community than they represent in the normal population. But, gay and lesbian people should not be able to get the same privileges as other minorities based on their status as a minority. The idea of affirmative action is to compensate for the slights that have been used against people who are openly discriminated against in society. Black people can not hide their ethnicity. Neither Hispanic people nor Asian people are able to be pass as Caucasian people. Their skin color, the texture of their hair, and numerous other physical features make it impossible to assimilate without being noticed. Shit, Black people have to fight against prejudice because of their names. Believe me, Judy Bernstein is going to get a job before Sharmonica Jenkins. Even, women can not hide their gender. They face lower wages and less promotions because of their shape. However, a person’s sexuality whether chosen by the individual, decided at birth, or a combination of the two does not have to be disclosed. Gay men and women only face discrimination once their sexuality has been disclosed to the general public, which gives them an unfair advantage in the work force. Other ethnic groups are easily identified, and then stereotyped and stigmatized.

 

Why Aren’t Black Men Dating Black Women?

Black women are beautiful. They have naturally supple, tanned skin, sexy curves, and there is nothing sweeter than a Black woman in love. But despite all this, Black woman have it hard these days. They are the most frequent contractor of the HIV virus across all races and genders. Many think that this is due to the prevalence of black men being on the “down low,” but it is probably more closely connected to the lack of safe sex practices in minorities. Despite all this, they are holding out for a Black prince to come along and marry them, but Black men are dating women of other ethnic groups more often and more easily. As a Black man, I’m going to drop a few reasons that other Black men have given me for dating outside their race. Don’t hate me, I’m just the messenger.

1. Black women are too argumentative – Black women fuss too much. It doesn’t take a lot to piss off a Black woman, and there is no person in this world more difficult to deal with than an angry Black woman. She is not going to listen to your side of the argument, she might cuss you out depending on what you did, and she will get the last word in every argument. It does not matter if you or she is happy, she will fight you on anything to prove that she is right. Women of different races are more open to listening to the opinions of their mates, and/or were raised to follow the lead of their man. No matter how ridiculous the thought may be, the women of other ethnic groups tend to acknowledge and sometimes accommodate the wishes of their men. Black women could learn something from the women of the other races.

2. Black women do not respect Black men – Black women are extremely strong-willed and unless a guy is equally strong enough to deal with her stubbornness or smart enough to let her lead, then there will be a lot of headaches in the relationship. A significant amount of Black women were raised by their mothers in a single parent household, so they learned how to become a woman from a woman who didn’t show them how to love their partner. Because of that men have to break down a lot of emotional walls just to connect with them. Cultivating a healthy relationship with a black woman can be extremely difficult for a black man.

3. White girls give more head – I personally haven’t noticed any sexual differences between Black women and other women, but the consensus across Black men is that Black women often ignore giving head. In fact, a lot of guys say that black women rarely try anything new in the bedroom. Conversely, Black men say that white women specifically are more open to different sexual acts altogether and seem to truly enjoy oral sex. Black women seem to have a lot more natural rhythm in the bedroom than most races, but sex is not all about rhythm. A big part of how good sex is lies with how much enthusiasm the woman puts into it, and enthusiasm is 90% of oral sex. So, let me give it to you straight, black women are a little more uptight and white girls are more freaky.

What is the fascination of famous Black men for white women?

I’m sure that everyone expects for me to give some deep psychological reason why rich, Black men marry White women so frequently. People think the reason is extremely complicated. For example, many believe Black men marry White women solely to spite White men for slavery, because Black women are crazy and/or gold-diggers, or because Black men do not love themselves so they turn to other races instead of their own, but the reason is simple. White women catch Black guys in college. They are a little more ambitious in keeping their man happy and they help with little things like laundry, homework, and hot meals. When the Black man gains his celebrity, he naturally sticks with the person that was closest to him and did the most for him when he had nothing. Oh, and White women give great head.

Do Black People Deserve Reparations?

Hell yeah, Black people deserve reparations. This country was built on the backs of slaves, black slaves. Black people were responsible for the flourishing economy that supported this country when it was ceding from England. The goods and the subsequent money that was made through slave labor made some of the most distinguished families in the USA their current fortunes. Slavery was a lucrative and a brutal business. Male and female slaves were whipped until flesh was taken from their backs, the women were raped by their masters and forced to mate with the biggest slaves to make stronger slaves, and the men were taken away from their families to destroy the idea of family and unity. Slaves were castrated, burned alive, hung from trees, and were brutalized in numerous other ways too. We commemorate Holocaust victims, and though Jewish people suffered equally terrible injustices, they were only oppressed for 12 years. Asian Americans were only held here for a few years in camps after Doomsday. And, both Jewish and Asian Americans were given reparations. Slavery in this country lasted for 400 years and the closest thing that Black people have gotten from the government was a half-assed apology from Dubya.

So,  Black People Should Get Reparations?

I know that I said that Black people deserve reparations, but hell no they should never get them. Most Black people would not know how to handle the money if they received it. Jewish people saved their money and they now run the country. Black people would probably waste it on cars, alcohol, and clothes. Plus, the issuing of reparations to Black people would be the best possible excuse for the government to disembowel every financial aid program that they have put in place for minorities. The issuing of reparations would be the government’s final official act to even the playing field for any minority.

Why Do Black People Watch Tyler Perry Movies?

I’m sorry, but you are terribly mistaken on this one, because Black people are not the only people that are watching Tyler Perry movies. Unfortunately, and to the detriment of cinematic art and its history, everyone is supporting this damn Madea series (though Black people are the majority in this case). I can not tell you how many random conversations have been started with me about Tyler Perry movies by both Black and White women. This shit is a phenomena. Though I respect any person that earns the type of money that Perry is making, and I love to see Black entrepreneurs finding success, I personally don’t want to watch any movie that is predictable and denigrates the image of Black men. I can tell you exactly what is going to happen in the next TP movie (how apropos that he shares his initials with toilet paper). A black man is going to screw up by cheating or disrespecting the women of the house, and he will be kicked out. Madea is going to get pissed, do something crazy, say something funny, and everyone is going to learn a lesson. I do not have a clue of why people continue to watch the same premise regurgitated over and over again with different people from Madea’s family.

Why Are Black People So Quick to Play the Race Card?

Let me start by saying that whether you believe it or not, there still is racism going on in 2012, and not just the Neo-Nazi style overt racism but the subtle, more dangerous type of racism too. An over the top racist is clear about where he stands and can be avoided or confronted depending on the situation. But, the closet racist is the type of person whose prejudice can ruin the careers of unsuspecting victims without provocation. That guy has all the same biases against people of color, but he is smart enough not to vocalize his beliefs, so he goes undiscovered in the workforce. A closet bigot in the human resources department who sees the job applications of Phillip Bernstein and DeRontavious Brown and immediately pushes Chip through for an interview while ignoring the application of DeRontavious is effectively assuming that the latter applicant is less qualified based on a stereotype. Only an ignorant person would choose employees based solely on the preconceived idea that DeRontavious is Black and a worse applicant for the position than Phillip. But, it does happen. A study in 2003 by two professors from the University of Chicago and MIT, actually showed that on average people with traditionally Caucasian names were 50% more likely to be called in for an interview than people with ethnic names despite having equal credentials on the application. With that being said, Black people that play the race card when it is completely unfounded are equally as ignorant and they do a great disservice to people who are genuinely being discriminated against. When someone unfairly says that another person’s behavior was fueled by prejudice, then it undermines the validity of the programs that are set up to combat racially injustices. If you are late to work everyday and you never reach your personal goals in the company, unless they are dumping more work on you than everyone else, then prejudice is not the culprit. Your own poor work habits are to blame.


4 comments for “Ask A Black Guy: All Your Questions Answered

  1. Ronnie
    November 22, 2013 at 2:44 PM

    Why is it that black people are targeting white people playing knockout?

    • elliot
      November 26, 2013 at 3:01 PM

      Jews were only oppressed for 13 years??? Are you kidding me…try 3,000

  2. Correction
    December 9, 2013 at 11:27 AM

    Correction,
    that picture of Obama is not of hm eating chicken. That is actually fish. That is all *walks away*

    • AFM
      December 12, 2013 at 4:11 PM

      Thanks Mr. Perfect…

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