Dont’s on the First Date


By William Bixby

If you want to ensure that you do not get a second date with a woman, then ignore this list. There are basic mistakes that men make that keep them from catching the women that they want.

1. Don’t wing the first date – If you call ladies without a plan, you seem immature and irresponsible. Women that are looking for a partner, don’t want to figure out what to do with him.

2. Don’t drop the ex-bomb – I know that you just broke up with your ex; do not talk about her. No one wins with this one. If you bad mouth her, then you look bitter and vindictive. Your date will think about how you will talk about her if the two of you break-up. If you speak well of your ex, then you seem like you are still harboring feelings for her, and now your date has to compete with her.

3. Don’t complain – Don’t complain about anything. If the food tastes like the bad end of a camel, endure it, and smile. If it rained into your brand new car, endure it, and smile. If she complains, don’t join in, fix the problem. If trying to fix the problem does not work, then endure the situation and smile.

4. Don’t cop a feel – If she has made no physical contact with you -  touching your hand, your arm, or your leg – then there is a reason. She may be shy. She may not be into you. Either way, do not make her more uncomfortable by being too touchy or grabby. If she has made some physical contact, you only reciprocate what she has done. This a sure way to get kicked in the balls on the first date.

5. Don’t talk about work – Can you mention some funny thing that happened at work? Of course you can. Do not talk about all the boring intricacies of your desk job at an accounting firm. No one cares. Believe me.

6. Don’t dominate the conversation – Please give your date a chance to talk. I know that you think that you are the most interesting man alive. You are not. Listen to her opinions about art, culture, and politics. Being well-versed in quotes from some obscure philosopher will only make her think that you spend a lot of time alone.

And now, for my sexist statement of the month*

7. Don’t talk about yourself – *Most women want to talk about themselves. If you can shut your mouth long enough for them to actually talk, then half the battle is won. If you add a few, “wow’s” and re-assuring nods, they might be self-involved enough to carry the conversation for you. So, do not talk incessantly about you. You are not nearly as important as they are.

8. Don’t answer your cellphone – The only exception to this rule is an extreme emergency. Extreme emergencies are limited to the sudden illness of your child/children, your house literally being on fire, and death of a family member.

9. Don’t leave your cash at home – There will be some occasion that requires tipping or buying something impromptu. You need to be ready for it. Keep a little cash in your pocket just in case.

10. Don’t meet your friends – The first date is reserved for you and your date. It is instrumental in getting to know her and should not be interrupted with the nonsense that you and your buddies do. She is the focal point of the first date. And, what if she likes one of your buddies better than she likes you?

11. Don’t be rude – Do not berate the waitstaff, valet, or any of the service people regardless of how terrible they are at their jobs or to try to “impress” your date. You will not look like the man, but you will look like a jerk.

See also Do’s on the First Date


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