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The 10 Worst College Mascots of All-Time

24 Mar

The idea of a team mascot has been sorely misunderstood in these cases. Or maybe, these are the ten schools who truly understood the essence of team spirit.

10. Campbell University – Gaylord the Camel

Having a camel as a mascot is not a terrible idea. They are big, and sometimes cantankerous animals. However, naming that camel “Gaylord” probably does not exactly scare the opponents or rouse any real excitement in the fan base.

mascot - campbell university - gaylord the camel

9. Scottsdale Community College – The Fighting Artichokes

Nothing says sports like an inanimate, rounded vegetable. And, just like having artichokes on a plate in real life, no one really wants them. They are the red-headed stepchild of nutrition.

mascot - scottsdale community college - fighting artichokes

8. University of North Carolina School of Art – The Fighting Pickles

Everyone knows that art schools need mascots to cheer for them at their competitions. And, everybody knows that nothing is more awe-inspiring in a non-athletic competition than a pickled cucumber. UNCSA picked a a bitter, phallic vegetable for their mascot.

mascot - university of north carolina school of art - fighting pickles

7. Delta University – The Fighting Okra

Delta University had the entire animal kingdom to choose from when they began picking a mascot that embodied the ideals that the school put forth for the nation. Instead of choosing a lion, an eagle, or any vicious predator, they chose a flowering plant with a slimy seed pod. Good call.mascot - delta university - fighting okra


6. Dartmouth Big Green – Keggy the Keg

Probably the most appropriate mascot for a college team. But, what example does this mascot set for the children?

mascot - dartmouth - keggy the keg

5. University of Arkansas Monticello – Boll Weevils

UAM picked the scourge of the Old South as their mascots. Boll weevils are the most intimidating, tiny animal in the world. They almost killed the cotton industry in the 1800′s. However, it is 2014 and any problem that they cause can be solved with a boot.

mascot - university of arkansas monticello - boll weevil

4. Western Kentucky University – The Hill Toppers

No one really knows what a hill topper really is, but we assume that the name relates to the red hill tops of Kentucky. Nothing is wrong with naming your team after a mountain, because nothing screams athleticism and agility like a mountain. However, something is wrong with making the mascot of your school resemble a semi-erect penis.

mascot - western kentucky university - hilltoppers02mascot - western kentucky university - hilltoppers

3. University of California Santa Barbara – The Banana Slugs

The University of California Santa Barbara picked the most frightening animal in the animal kingdom as their mascot, the banana slug. Banana slugs strike fear into the hearts of opponents with their terrifying speed and their trail of slime.

mascot - university of california santa barbara - banana slug

2. Evergreen State – The Geoducks

What is a geoduck, you ask? It is a large clam that resembles a man’s “frank and beans” when held in his hands. The Evergreen State Geoducks are the second mollusk to crack the top three worst mascots of all-time on this list. But, words do it little justice. Even the mascot looks like a penis is protruding from the top of the shell.

mascot - evergreen - geoducks

1. Rhode Island School of Design – Scrotie the Scrotum

No, that is not a misprint. In 2001,  the Rhode Island School of Design named its mascot after an actual pair of balls. Rather than simply making their mascot some phallic representation of a benign archetype, RISD decided to make it an actual phallus. For an actual picture of the mascot in all its glory, go here.

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