October 19, 2011
10. Brigette Nielsen – First of all, Bridgette is European, so she has to be a little crazy. But, she is also known in America for random acts of nudity, plastic surgery, and emotional outbursts. Her biggest crazy crime though, is dating Flavor Flav in reality television series.
9. Kathy Griffin – Kathy Griffin is a bit of an attention whore. She ran topless in the streets in front of her hotel in Miami. She ran through an airplane aisle in just her bra and jeans to startle the travelers. She regularly says the most ridiculous things that pop into that little red head of hers on stage at the most inappropriate times. Griffin will do anything for a laugh, including getting tons of botched plastic surgery. The procedures that her plastic surgeon performed on her face are the funniest things associated with this comedienne.
8. Lady Gaga – At first glance, Lady Gaga seems like the eccentric, tortured artist that fights constantly for growth and expression. Then you take a second look and realize that she’s just crazy. Nothing she does makes sense and her clothes border on Halloween-ish all year.
7. Andy Dick – Andy Dick is nuts. No one knows where he will pop up or what he will say, but rest assured, when he does arrive, something ridiculous will be said or done. And, even though technically Andy Dick is a man, everyone knows that he is always the biggest girl in the room.
6. Lindsay Lohan – Lindsay Lohan has had a bout of acute lesbianism from which she is now cured. She allegedly has a sex tape floating in circulation from a tryst with a young man that she met in rehab. She has seen the inside of a courtroom as much as O.J. Simpson and apparently she does not own a bra. Lindsay Lohan is drunk and braless like a homeless Irishwoman at 6 o’clock on St. Patrick’s Day.
5. Halle Berry – Outside of a hit and run, Halle Berry may seem normal, but she has got plenty of crazy in that gorgeous frame of hers. Halle Berry has now been married to a physically abusive athlete and a verbally abusive sex addict. Crazy attracts crazy. Her most recent example of craziness was first trying to keep the father of her daughter away from their child for no reason other the being hers, and then attempting to dictate who her ex could and could not date by withholding the child.
4. Janice Dickinson – Janice Dickinson has taken her wild child act out to the public for 20+ years now. Her face is now a far cry from the face of her youth. She is one of the poster children for bad plastic surgery despite being one of the first supermodels. Janice is prone to flashing cameramen intentionally and unintentionally, verbally abusing people, and has actually wielded a butcher’s knife while playfully threatening a roommate on a reality show.
3. Bai Ling – Bai Ling may be the most sexualized person in America. She is attention starved and her nipples are in public view as much as her face is. Bai Ling is known for outrageous outfits, emotional outbursts, and very public intoxication. Her newest grasp for attention was a stint on the television show, Celebrity Rehab. How desperate for ministration and acceptance must you be to go through the rehabilitation process on television?
2. Britney Spears – Britney Spears is mentally unstable. Spears was the biggest star in America in the early 2000’s. And then suddenly, she fell head over heels in love with a back-up dancer. Kevin Federline was an out of work dancer with a middling career and was in a relationship with the pregnant mother of his children. Britney figured that the guy that would leave his family behind for another woman was a great catch, so she married him after only a few months and became pregnant too. When they split, Britney had a nervous breakdown. She shaved her head in a public salon, got a tattoo, and attacked paparazzi. She went to rehab, lost her children in a custody dispute, and had to pay Federline child support. In an attempt to make a comeback, Britney made a song about threesomes and men everywhere forgave her for her public meltdown.
1. Angelina Jolie – Angelina Jolie is completely insane. She married Billy Bob Thornton after two whole months of dating. During this time period, she was often seen with a vial of her lover’s blood around her neck in public. She and her husband, Billy Bob said that they regularly practiced drinking each other’s blood like it was perfectly natural to do so. She kissed her biological brother on the lips while at a red carpet event. And, she stole Jennifer Aniston’s husband, Brad Pitt. Jolie followed her incest and home-wrecking with attempting to adopt and to corrupt all the children of the free world. Somebody has to stop her.