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Reasons for Drinking

3 Jul

November 19, 2012

Drinking Wisdom

“The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.” Unknown

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” Henny Youngman

“In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to drink beer.” Dave Barry

“Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or fourteenth.” George Burns

“Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.” Steve Allen

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools.” Ernest Hemmingway

“If your doctor warns that you have to watch your drinking, find a bar with a mirror.” John Mooney

“I can’t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.” Phil Harris

“Everybody should believe in something — I believe I’ll have another drink.” Unknown

“Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say, “I’m thirsty, not dirty”. Joe Lewis

“I told the stewardess liquor for three.” – “Who are the other two? – “Oh, there are no other two.”
James Bond

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Benjamin Franklin

After being told that he was drunk by Bessie Braddock, And you madam, are ugly. But, I shall be sober in the morning.” Winston Churchill

“Booze is the answer. I don’t remember the question.” Unknown

“Alright brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me, so let’s do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.” Homer Simpson

“You’re not drunk if you can lie down on the floor without holding on.” Dean Martin

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking, and loving, you don’t actually live longer, it just seems longer. Clement Freud

“Having drinks are a lot like love. The first kiss is magic. The second kiss is intimate. The third one is routine. After that, you just take the girl’s clothes off.” Unknown

“To some it is a six-pack. To me it’s a support group.” Unknown

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