Worst Movie Sequels


July 10, 2012

1. Robocop 2 – The first Robocop movie was about a cop that was half robot and half man. Why did the producers of this movie feel the need to make a second one?

Who in the hell is this guy?

2. Bloodsport 2 – The first Bloodsport was not great, but it reached cult status on the shoulders of Jean Claude van Damme. Then he made thirty seven copies of Bloodsport with different names and the same villains (and even worse, different crappy eighties music and sex scenes). I lost an hour and a half of watching the second Bloodsport and I didn’t even get any van Damme.

3. Next Friday – There is no replacement for Smoke Dog, period. Sorry, Mike Epps.

Carter put on some lbs.

4. Rush Hour 3 – Chris Tucker got fat…and not funny.

This is Jenny McCarthy without her makeup.

5. Scary Movie 3 – No Wayans brothers equals no funny.

Watching this entire movie was like watching ballroom dancing.

6. Mummy 3 – As if two movies with Brendan Fraser was not enough, some idiot saw fit to make The Mummy 3.

Did anyone see this movie?

7. Any Disney Movie Sequel – With the exception of Toy Story which was also done by Pixar, no Disney movie is worth the admission price. Think about The Little Mermaid 2, The Lion King 2, or Aladin 2. Which of those would you tell someone to go see in theaters.

I would honestly rather watch The Land Before Time.

8. Jurassic Park 3 – No Spielberg, no bueno. The main storyline never built into anything other than a convoluted connection between a father and his daughter. There were multiple different themes running under the main storyline, but none of them were connected. And, the dinosaurs were a afterthought despite being smarter and therefore more dangerous than all the ones before them. Plus, the cinematography was not that great.

This looks way cooler than it is.

9. Boondock Saints II – The first problem was that the second movie came ten years after the first one, so there was no continuity between the two movies. The second problem was that the movie was crappy.

This is a real scene from the movie.

10. Crank 2 – The first Crank movie was about a man who was poisoned, so that if his adrenaline fell below a certain point he would die. I really did not make that up. Some rich people sat in a room together and decided that this premise was a good idea for a movie. And somehow, a second movie was regurgitated from that idiotic idea.

 


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