This is how I imagine she looked after Clinton finished.
Monica Lewinsky – Seven degrees of separation, or in this case two degrees of separation are the only reason to sleep with this woman. Yes, she almost got the leader of the free world impeached over a cigar and a misplaced sperm deposit. And now, she is peddling a book that she reportedly received $12 million to write. However, Monica Lewinsky is still the chick who banged the President. Who could pass on saying that they were Eskimo brothers the President?
Those are real and still strangely perky.
Madonna – Madonna made it to the ripe old age of 55 last year, but she will not remove herself from the spotlight. She constantly wears outfits that are too slutty for a woman 30 years her junior and she manages to stay relevant despite being twenty years older than her target audience. Madge is opinionated, past her prime, and she has a penchant for younger guys. And, if her wild younger days are a barometer for her sexuality, a seasoned Madonna could make any man feel “Like A Virgin” in a good way.
Hilary Clinton - Hilary is poised to be the most powerful women in the world. In fact, she is already one of the most powerful people in the world, holding the title of Secretary of State and being the wife of the former President. She can be brash when she is passionate about a subject, and comes across as arrogant on occasion (qualities that are unattractive in men, but abhorrent in women). However, Hilary is on the fast track to the presidency and what man would not want to sleep with the President of the United States without having to worry about having a sore butt hole?
Rihanna – This woman is a mediocre singing talent, yet she makes millions of dollars as a music entertainer. Her production team is the only way that she makes catchy songs despite being marginally talented, and she keeps high popularity ratings and great record sales. Rihanna has a public on again-off again relationship with an abusive lover, has been the focus of a public feud between Chris Brown and Drake, and can not seem to find a bra despite having an extensive and eccentric collection of clothes. Any woman who can cause friction between two hip-hop artists who have seen as much stripper tail as those Chris Brown and Drake must know a few special tricks in the bedroom. And, that is the only reason to date her.
Kenya Moore – Kenya Moore is so nutty that she had to pay a man to say that he was her boyfriend on national television. And, the only reason that her secret was revealed is because she berated the lucky guy on her show. This 41 year old who lost her husband, argues with almost anyone she meets, and is seeking out viable options for artificial insemination because she can not keep a man. However, Kenya Moore is a former Miss America and she is absolutely gorgeous. If she could hold in the crazy long enough, any man would love to practice making babies with her.
The Entire Kardashian Family (the women) – Why are any of these women famous? Kim Kardashian gets the most press and she should come with a “real life” mute button. There is no other reason for her to exist on this planet except to make sex tapes (And Kanye West got her pregnant, ‘Way to go genius! You aimed for the wrong hole). Kourtney is nearly as eye-scalding hot as her sister but she has the personality of Kim’s butt hole; she is interesting to look at, but you hope that nothing comes out. And, Khloe the only relatively sensible one of the sisters, is the least attractive by a stretch. Their mother is crazier than all them combined. Kris Kardashian claim to fame is getting knocked up by the right guy over and over again. She bore children to a wealthy attorney (hence the Kardashian name), possibly a professional athlete, and an Olympian. Her only gift to the world has been opening her legs and creating hot daughters.
Candice Cameron Bure – You might remember her as D.J. Tanner from Full House, the chubby little sister that turned into the hot little sister. But now, she is Candice Cameron Bure the super hot sister of Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains. He is now an obnoxious televangelist and she is an obnoxious high selling author of Christian self-help books. There is nothing wrong with religious conviction and passion of any kind. That makes women even more attractive. But, once your faith inundates every sentence that you speak, you begin to lose some appeal. Regardless of her conviction, Candace is one of the few people that most men would like to hear scream “Oh, God!” repeatedly while she was on her hands and knees.
Erin Andrews – Seriously, Erin Andrews knows nothing about sports. She either asks mundane and obvious questions about sporting events or she makes boring small talk in her interviews. And, she has spearheaded a movement of hot women who seem to be clueless about sports becoming sports reporters. People who do not understand sports should not be the face of sports talk. But, Erin Andrews could anchor some serious pillow talk with no objection.