Survival Guide for the Holidays


November is here which means that the holidays are quickly approaching. It is the time of year where you have to spend time in close quarters with family, spend loads of money for gifts, and navigate relationships. Single men need a guide for survival to make it through these times.

 

This is why you should leave her before the holidays. It will prevent you from doing what he did.

 

1. Dump your girlfriend – If you have only been dating a woman for two months or less, then you have to drop her for the holidays. She is going to demand a lot of time and a gift. If you buy a present that is too expensive, then you could make her think that you are like her more than she likes you or that you are desperate. If you choose a gift that is too cheap or uninspired, then she will think that you do not care. Break up with her at all costs. Pick a fight. Sleep with her sister. Molest her cat. Just get out of the relationship before the holidays. You will thank me for it, though Fluffy may never be the same.

 

2. Buy sentimental gifts – This step takes thought and attention to smaller details. If you do not learn to buy meaningful gifts, then there is no feasible way to get through Christmas without spending hundreds of dollars on family and friends. The gift that you buy for a  person should show them how well you know them, and tell them how important they are to you.If you did not dump your girlfriend for the holidays, then this approach to gift giving is golden. You have to remember a few of the random conversations that you have had with your loved ones if you want to do this effectively. Can you recall your girlfriend going on and on about some bath oil that she could only get in California? Talk your buddy in LA into shipping it to you. Your significant other will know that you care, and it will only cost you a few bucks. Do  you remember your mother talking about some tattered doll that she lost when she went off to college? Well, you ran across it in your grandparents’ attic last summer. Wrap it up for mom this holiday season. She will remember that gift forever. Gift-giving can be special and inexpensive if you take a little extra time and give more effort.

 

Go to the Aunt’s house that bakes these first.

 

3. Plan each visit – Thanksgiving and Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa are by far the best times of the year to get free food. As a single man, meal planning is probably not your best quality. But, the holidays are full of great food and desserts. In order to fully capitalize on these opportunities, you need to make a list. Rank the people that cook the most elaborate holiday meals in order from highest to lowest. Factor in the amount of time that you will have to visit, so that no one is offended when you leave, and prioritize that list accordingly. Do not forget to bring a cooler. This is an all-day event, so you have to keep your food on ice. If you execute this idea properly, you should have great food for at least one and a half weeks.

 

4. Shop online – The holiday sales are generally the best deals of the year, and Black Friday normally produces more sales than any other day of the year. However, with the recent prevalence of violence between consumers and the damage that all that traffic does to a store, companies are beginning to give their best deals on the internet prior to Black Friday. So, check the sales from the comfort of your home and find the best deals.

 

5. Sleep – With all the commotion of the holiday season, people tend to visit and fellowship with their families throughout their vacation. While it is necessary to connect with the people that you love, rest is also pertinent. The weather changes, and your body reacts differently to illness. Plus, you are exposed to infinitely more germs while kissing and hugging all the people that you only see once a year. Sleep is an integral part of avoiding and fighting off illness and dealing with the stresses of family. So, be lazy. It’s good for you.

 

Do you really want to stay with these guys?

 


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