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The Ten Worst People That Ever Lived

1 Apr

Not to be completely prone to hyperbole, but is it okay to add Roger Goodell, Bill Cosby, and “Jihadi John”?

1. Adolph Hitler – According to some rumors, he molested a goat in his youth and it bit him in his groin rendering  him impotent. When a man cannot think about sex he tends to think about hurting people, and Hitler excelled at that. He massacred and experimented on people while sending others to work in concentration camps where they were tormented, beaten, molested, and killed. Ultimately, he wiped out two-thirds of the Jewish population in the world. So, instead of people worrying about the Muslim terrorists that are assaulting the world, they should watch the guys that have erectile dysfunction a little more  closely. Never trust a man that uses Viagra.

2. John Wayne Gacy – Gacy was one of the most affable neighbors that any person could have. He was a round man who was polite,  attended the neighborhood church, and even dressed up as a clown for the children that lived near him. He seemed like the perfect guy until some neighbors noticed a foul odor coming from his house. The stench grew worse as the days passed, so the police were called. They found the bodies of twenty-six teenage boys and young men in a crawlspace in his home. The police found a total of thirty-three bodies on his property. Gacy had raped, tortured, and killed the young men. This is just more proof of how creepy clowns are.

3. Pol Pot – Pol Pot was the prime minister of Cambodia from 1976-1979. He forced the urban community of Cambodia into harsh, slave labor relocating them into farms and labor camps in the countryside. Between the brutal work, lack of food, non-existent medical care, and mass executions nearly two million Cambodians died under his regime. The term, “Killing Fields” was coined in his honor where hundreds of people were murdered at one time and dumped into mass graves. He even saved ammunition by using heavy blunt objects or sharpened bamboo to kill his victims.

4. Vlad the Impaler – As one can probably assume from his name, Vlad the Impaler was not a nice guy. His torture techniques were unrivaled in his era. He was most known for punishing his victims by either placing them on a dull stake and allowing their body weight to force the stake into them through their anus, or by just using a horse to create the impalement. His methods of torture include, but are not limited to strangulation, blinding, severing limbs through force or cutting, nailing hats to their heads, and good, old-fashioned beheading. He was rumored to have drank the blood of his enemies too, leading to the story of Dracula.

5. Lorena Bobbit – Granted, Lorena Bobbit did not kill anyone and her husband cheated on her multiple times, but this is one of the biggest travesties of the modern world. No man should ever wake up in a puddle of blood without his penis. This woman is evil incarnate.

6. Countess Elizabeth Bathory – For years, peasant girls were offered great pay to work at her castle and never seen again. The countess is thought to have killed hundreds of people and rumored to have bathed in her victims blood, though there is no evidence to prove it. Witnesses testified that she severely beat her prisoners, mutilated their hands, faces, and genitalia, tortured them with needles, starved them, and even bit pieces of their face and body personally.

7. Shiro Ishii – Ishii was a microbiologist who led a biological warfare unit of the Imperial Japanese Army. He was responsible for the deaths of between 200,000 and 580,000 people over a decade. Ishii experimented on men, women, and children of all ages including infants. He removed organs from living people to observe the effects of disease on the human body. He amputated limbs to study blood loss and reattached them to other parts of the body. He froze other limbs and thawed them to observe the effects of gangrene. He tested all his weapons on humans. Ishii oversaw the rape and impregnation of women to test the effects of different venereal disease on pregnant women.

8. Idi Amin – Amin was the military leader and president of Uganda from 1946 to 1976. He was responsible for the deaths of 80,000-500-000 people in Uganda. He killed for political, racial, religious, and economical reasons, and killed homosexual people too. Idi Amin was irrational and brutal. In fact, he was called the “Butcher of Uganda.” He sanctioned “killer squads” to hunt down the supporters of Obote, the man that he overthrew to gain power. He tortured and killed anyone that was perceived to disagree with him or his methods.

9. Osama bin Laden – Osama bin Laden is the founder of Al-Qaeda, the jihadist organization that is responsible for the 220,000 to 1,000,000+ deaths of civilian and military casualties.  Al-Qaeda, under his rule hijacked planes, bombed trains, and suicide bombed cities across the world in the name of racism and religion. He even convinced young men in his organization to kill themselves in an attempt to take the  lives of their enemies because twenty virgins are waiting for them in Heaven.

10. Joseph Stalin – Stalin murdered over seven million people and oppressed roughly 50 million. He killed through brutal murders, creating famines, and political gain. Stalin killed anyone that opposed him through any source of media. He had public and private assassinations. He established communism and used it rule unopposed for half of his life.


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