Men often ask questions that have answers that are not equipped to deal with. So, as loving and nurturing women, you sometimes have to protect them from themselves. These questions should never be answered …. at least not directly.
How many people have you slept with?
- There is no perfect answer to this question. And, unless the answer is zero, there is no direct answer that is acceptable. Virgins are the only women that should disclose fully about their sexual past. If you have only slept with one person then your new guy will compare himself to your ex constantly and wonder if you are competent sexually. If you have more sex partners than him or more than he would want you to have ideally, then he will think less of you.
- The correct answer is: “I am very particular about who I have sex with, and I have not slept with a lot of guys. But I have dated enough to know what a great person you are.” With this statement you have effectively squashed his reservations about your sexual history and stroked his ego at the same time. Most guys are too self-involved to realize that you have not answered their question and will accept this type of answer.
Why did you break up with your ex?
- Questions about exes breed jealousy and contempt in new relationships. Most women erroneously assume that this question was just an innocent inquiry about why their former relationships did not work and indulge their new beau with stories of good times with their former lover or horror stories about demeaning, selfish ex-boyfriends. This is actually a question that men will unintentionally use to make judgments about you. Women that speak well of their ex-lover appear to still be in love with their ex. Women that belittle their exes seem jilted, petty, and still appear to be in love with their exes. The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference. Do not talk about your ex.
- The correct answer is: “In general, I have dated pretty nice guys. We broke up because he and I were not right for each other.” Words like ‘he’ and ‘I’ show that you have moved on from the relationship. Nothing has to be wrong with you or your ex for the relationship to fail. Saying that an ex is crazy leads a guy to think that something is wrong with you. Crazy people attract other crazy people. Take that in.
What did you and your ex do in bed together?
- Only jealous men make inquiries like this. Leave this guy alone. The next question will be, “Is he bigger than me?’ or ‘Why didn’t you do that with me?’ Anyone that asks questions that are so intimate and uncomfortable is masochistic and immature.
- The correct answer is: Nothing. Leave him because he is insane. If you care enough to stay, then say, “I did not do anything adventurous with him, and what I did in another relationship is in the past. I’m focusing on you and all the things that we can do together, so get the whipped cream.” Men do not want to know all the dirty things that you did with another man. With any details, he will conjure up the most vile sex acts that anyone could imagine and despise you for it. Do not disclose anything and change the subject casually. Here’s a tip, men are easily distracted by sex.
Can we just be friends? (When just meeting him)
- There is no such thing as a man that wants to be your friend. The platonic male friend does not exist, except in very specific circumstances. The only situations in which a man can be friends with a woman are, she is not attractive, he is not attracted to her, his penis does not work, or he does not have a penis. And, any man equipped with a functional penis can and will sleep with almost any woman under the right conditions.
- The correct answer: “I have a boyfriend, and I am not comfortable having any new male friends while I’m with him. I am not the type of woman that has a back-up plan in a relationship.” Either he will respect what you are saying and leave you alone, or he will be angry and show himself to be a douche. Either way, you will be rid of him.
Can we just be friends? (Breaking-up)
- When you truly love someone romantically, there is no chance of a real friendship immediately after a break-up. If he tells you that he wants to be friends after he breaks up with you, then he has already moved on, and you should too. If he is saying that he wants to be friends with you after you broke up with him, then he is trying to hold on to the relationship. Keeping in close contact with an ex that you love hinders you from detaching from the relationship and connecting with other people. You may date other people, but honestly your heart will still be in the old affair.
- The correct answer: “I am sorry, but we can not be friends right now. There is no way that I could talk to you everyday and get over you. We should try not to communicate after this.” This is the best decision for both of you. If you wanted out of the relationship, then he will not be strung along. And if he wanted out, then you do not have to waste time and emotion on him.