Learning to Talk to Women: What We Can Learn from Hank Moody


The Showtime series Californication haphazardly provides men with shrewd insight into the minds of women in nearly every episode. This series centers around Hank Moody, a womanizing, alcoholic writer who regularly screws up everything in his life and screws over every person that he holds most dear. And, though that synopsis of the series sounds both tragic and hollow, the show is fairly nuanced and approaches Moody’s complex character through comedy. Hank Moody, with all his flaws, perfectly executes a lot of simple behaviors that makes him extremely desirable to the fairer sex. The following is a breakdown of all the characteristics that Hank utilizes that the average guy can use to make himself more attractive to women. hank moody Candidness and Sincerity

Hank Moody’s most potent weapon in his ongoing search for companionship is his openness and truthfulness with women. He wants Karen, his ex, he wants to reconcile with his daughter, and he wants his family to be whole. Instead of hiding these things, Moody tells every women that he meets those things the moment that he begins a conversation with them. He always lets women know what his intentions are from the beginning. But, Karen has remarried, his daughter lives with his ex and her husband, and he spends the rest of his time drinking and pretending to write. Women know who and what they are getting from him from the start of their liaison, so they can make a decision about moving into a relationship with him, whether that relationship be romantic or purely sexual. Moody is an open book to anyone that he meets, and that is both rare and refreshing to the opposite sex. So many guys go into relationships with secrets, but Hank Moody is both candid and sincere from the start. He tells women the truth about himself, about themselves, and about his situation. Because he can not have what he wants, he is willing to have a little fun on the side. Moody is transparent to women in regards to his faults, and he gives them the truth about their own shortcomings when asked. He has the uncanny ability to turn a honest critique of a woman into a complement, because he is willing to talk about the things that most men avoid. And, he only talks about his sexual interest with a woman after he has also shown that he interested in her as a person. As a bachelor, giving honest assessments of your relationship status and disclosing your sexual intentions with a woman sets you apart from most of the dating crowd. Most men have their “representative” present on dates instead of just being themselves. These men avoid tough questions, especially when the answers to those questions may upset their date. To make an impression with a lady, be yourself not your rep. Like Hank Moody, you should always be honest and be sincere with women. It allows them to accept you where you are emotionally, financially, and mentally. Disclose who you are and what you want, and women will be receptive to you. hank moody03 Blithe, Affable Nonchalance

Though honesty really is the most important factor when building an intimate relationship with the opposite sex, attitude is nearly as important. There are exactly two male archetypes that almost every woman in the world find attractive, the strong, silent type who seems both stoic and mysterious, and the laid-back, self-deprecating introspective man who makes people feel at ease around him. And, Hank Moody has the latter character type down to a science. He approaches every moment of his life with a little lightheartedness and candor. Though his view of the world is decidedly cynical, his outlook on daily life is surprisingly bright and carefree. Hank likes to laugh, and he finds the humor in almost every situation, good or bad. He does not take himself too seriously, so people tend to drop their guard around him and be themselves rather than keep up the masks that they use in public. His laid-back demeanor allows women to pull down the emotional walls that protect their feelings. And since, Hank is always straightforward with his intentions, women know what to expect from him. He laughs at himself often, so his friends, and of course the women that he pursues have permission to laugh at themselves. Hank sets a great example of how to approach the inevitable obstacles of the human existence with his breezy, insouciant attitude. The characterizing moments that are most difficult in life are often out of your control, so learn to find the humor in them. With a little introspection, you will realize that you are not nearly as important as you thought you were, and recognizing your stature could be freeing rather than demoralizing. The guy who thinks too highly of himself comes off as a pompous jerk even when he is an important man. But, the man who knows that he is just like everyone else shines when he is among his peers even when he is more important than them. And, women notice a man’s general disposition, specifically a man who makes them feel better about themselves and their situation. hank moody06 Self-Awareness and Confidence

Hank Moody knows himself, flaws and all. And because he knows himself, he has been able to come to terms with all his shortcomings. He has embarrassed himself countless times and alienated himself from the love of his life and his child. He has lost numerous lucrative job opportunities because of his sometimes childish behavior and his personal code of ethics, but he is satisfied with who he is and does not intend to change. Moody knows Moody, he understands what he wants, and he exudes that to everyone that he meets. His confidence attracts people to him, and it appeals directly to the ladies. Hank does not use lines when he approaches women, because he is comfortable enough in his own skin to do and say whatever he wants. His confidence is not a façade. He knows his worth or lack of worth depending on the situation, he extends that self-assessment to whomever he has engaged in conversation, and then he tells them the honest truth about their situation. You have to be confident in your ability to entertain women and comfortable in your own skin to effectively charm the opposite sex. People are drawn to confidence, and your countenance decides how successful you will be with the opposite sex or how poorly you will do in the dating world. Because Hank believes he has the capacity to seduce women, he is actively involved in pursuing, conversing with, and ultimately being emotionally and physically intimate with them. He has insecurities like any other person, but he does not let them paralyze him or change his self-perception. You should not let fear and insecurity paralyze you either. The first step to improving your confidence is improving your opinion of yourself. Find the characteristics that you find the most appealing and accentuate them whether they be physical or mental. If you have striking eyes, wear contacts instead of frames. If you have strong intellect, then flash a little gentle sarcasm, especially if you can keep it funny and non-threatening. Highlight your best parts and you will become noticeably more comfortable in your own skin and more attractive to the ladies. A huge portion of a person’s confidence comes from finding a part of their person that is unique to them. The next step to being more confident is training yourself to try for the things that you want. Confidence is built on success, and there can be no success without the opportunity for it. You have to attempt to get the things you desire including, but not limited to women. Guys often overestimate and avoid rejection to the point that they do not try to win. Remember that the worst thing that a woman can do to you publicly is tell you that she is not interested. She can only tell you no. And, though some women will inevitably turn you down, others will be interested in you. The more you talk to women, the more comfortable you will be talking to them, and the better you will become at it. Once you begin actively pursuing women, you can begin to find the women with whom you have a compatible personality type. Finding the woman who is specifically looking for a man like you will boost that confidence even more, and could lead you to the woman of your dreams. hank moody05 He Listens

The old adage that you have two ears and one mouth for a reason rings true with old Hank Moody. Hank Moody listens to women, and he understands that women connect through communication. Ladies need to express their emotions verbally, so he gives them the opportunity to express themselves candidly, and most importantly, without judgement. He connects with ladies by permitting them to disclose any and everything without feeling judged. A silly whim, a basic fundamental need, or their deepest, darkest desire is willfully and enthusiastically entertained by Hank Moody. No matter how terrible a woman has behaved in her past, she is never met with his disapproval. There are two lessons that can be gleamed from Moody when it comes to listening. One, always actively listen to women who have graced you with their company.They are comfortable enough with you to share their emotions, so you should at the very least, show them that you care about what they are telling you. And two, if you want to continue the trend of women intimating their secrets to you, do not make them feel uncomfortable while talking to you. If a woman feels like you disapprove of her actions, then she will not share anything else with you.

Hank Moody is by no means a perfect guy. He is tragically flawed as a character, emotionally immature, nonchalant to a fault, and sometimes overly confident. However, Hank is perfectly suited to pursuing and dating the opposite sex. He uses genuine sincerity, a little lightheartedness, a confident countenance, and plenty of attentiveness to the fairer sex to help him get closer to women. And, if you follow his lead, you will find that you will be a lot closer to the opposite sex too.


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