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The Responsibilities of a Wingman

1 Nov

A good wingman does not have to be the most handsome guy in the bar. He does not have to be the most charming man in the place. Hell, a good wingman does not have to be a man. Every good wingman must do three things well. He must be able to engage, distract, and occasionally throw himself on a grenade when dealing with the fairer sex. That’s it. He has to be able to talk to women, he has to keep conversation alive when the hot girls friends are trying to pull her away, and once in a while he has to make out or even sleep with a chick that he would not normally date to help out his buddy. The rules of being a wingman are clear, and they should be followed strictly to insure that good men continue to hook up with women who are surrounded by potential cock blockers in public places.

1. Talking to Women

The first responsibility of being a wingman is being able to talk to women, and that does not mean regaling them with stories about your drab life. Be confident, smile at the hot girl’s ugly friends, and then listen to them. Believe me, no one wants to hear about your accounting win at work today. Those women did not come to the bar to be badgered with your boring stories about your boring life, so do not talk about yourself. Instead, show those pearly whites and then ask plenty questions about them. Being able to talk to women is generally about being able to listen to them, and women will express themselves if you close your mouth and give them the opportunity. So, to help your buddy get the girl that he wants, you may have to ignore your desire to talk about yourself and let the women talk about themselves.

wingman - falling on the grenade06

2. Distraction

If your friend’s conversation with the woman he favors does not engage the other women, then you may have to resort to a little trickery. You do not have to seduce these ladies to stop them from screwing up your buddy’s exchange with their hot friend, but you, as a wingman, have to make sure that they are not prohibiting her from being receptive to him. If they are not positively engaged in the initial discussion, then your job is to remove them from the situation either mentally or physically. That means you either start a second conversation that does pique their interests or you persuade them to separate from their friends. You have to shift their focus or shift the location when acting as a wingman. Some men buy a round of drinks, but a game of darts works just as well.

3. Falling on the Grenade

The final and the most important responsibility of the wingman is to sacrifice himself for the greater good of the team. And, the greater good in this case is sex. Your buddy may be close to closing the deal with a hot woman, but that woman absolutely will not leave without her fat and/or ugly friend. In this case, the friend is not being disruptive. The hot girl is just being loyal. And, the wingman has to fix the problem. Sometimes, that means making out with or sleeping with a woman that falls below your typical standards. Sometimes that means attaching yourself to the most unattractive woman in the building for the night. But, as a wingman this is your lot in life. Your job is to help your friend score. If you have a group of friends that is large enough, then almost any woman is someone’s type. However, if no one else steps up and helps out your friend, then you are required to stand in as a wingman.

wingman - falling on the grenade02

This guy is doing his job.

Being a wingman is an awesome responsibility. It requires sacrifice of time and body. But, if you are man (or woman) enough to immolate your gifts for your friends, then they may return the favor some day.

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