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1. The Three F’s
Who knew that Chris Rock had so much sage advice on relationships? If you want to keep a man, fuck him, feed him, and shut the fuck up. A man can deal with almost anything that a woman does if she can cook a good meal, make his toes curl in the bedroom, and let him win the occasional argument. Guys strive for peace in the home, and life is all about simple desires. The symbols of a good home life are good food, good sex, and good company. When the smaller things are taken care of by women, then men are happy.
2. What Is Good P*^sy
Both men and women have a well-formed idea of what good sex is, but the definition of good sex differs greatly between the sexes. Men are generally more motivated by what they see than women are. They respond to visual and tactile cues more often than the emotional ones that excite women. Because men are prompted into sexual activity with their eyes and the source of their attraction is their partner’s appearance, a large part of how sexy a woman feels personally is linked to how sexy she thinks she appears to her man. Therefore, a lot of women think that good sex is all about how their vagina looks and how wet it gets. These women are grossly misguided and misinformed. Unless your labia looks like Dumbo’s ears, your entire pelvis is covered in fur, or your vagina smells like a sewer, then no man cares about the appearance of your vagina. And, how wet your vagina gets is almost a non-factor too. Good foreplay almost always solves any problems with moisture in the vagina. And for the few exceptions when dryness is still a problem, pharmacies offer a vast assortment of oil-based and water-based hypo-allergenic lubricants to aid couples. Ultimately, there are only two ways to wow your man in the bedroom, by strengthening your kegel muscles and by using your hips in sex. Women often worry about how tight their vagina feels to their partner, and honestly the anxiety behind this is also more based in the insecurity of men. Regardless of the source of insecurity, the tightness of your vagina can be increased by regularly doing kegel exercises. And, kegels have clear benefits for both men and women. They help strengthen the pelvic floor which helps with incontinence and urinary stress, they help thicken the vaginal wall which increases natural lubrication in the vagina especially after menopause, and kegels also help increase blood flow and nerve supply to the pelvic area. Kegels improve sexual performance through improved sexual response and function. Consequently, these simple exercises make sex better for both men and women. The only other real contribution that women can make to having better sex is actively participating in sex. Some women think that just letting a man get between their legs is a big enough prize for a man. They are also sadly mistaken. Sex is not about lying still under an idiot until the neanderthal finally stops humping away at your pelvis. Sex is about two people or more if you are into that) enjoying each other intimately. And, a little movement of the hips and a lot of enthusiasm go a long way in the bedroom. If you want to impress your man, make sure that you grind with him during sex instead of laying there and making him work, and strengthen the muscles that make sex better for you and him prior to having sex. Achieving a higher quality of sex has very little to do with the appearance of your vagina and everything to do with your approach.
3. Women Make Life Better for Men, Not Simpler
As the prospective mate of a man, you need to understand one simple but profound idea. You are desired, but not needed by your future husband. Women make life better for men, but they also complicate it and men appreciate simplicity. You, as a woman, do all the little things that men love to have done. A good woman can give the right encouragement at a crucial time, cook the perfect meal that nourishes and is delicious, and makes numerous choices around the house that enhance the standard of living. A good woman improves the quality of life around her. But, men can survive without a good woman because the same woman also brings a separate set of problems too. Just living with another person can be difficult. Roommates bring a different view of the world that may or may not match your beliefs, a new way of resolving problems, and a distinct, personally cultivated opinion about everything. A woman brings all those behaviors and personality traits plus a indeterminable amount of emotional baggage and a real need for higher level communication. Men have to accommodate those needs to keep their significant others satisfied, so they have to work harder just to meet the status quo.
4. Sincere Apologies Really Do Work
With men, there is no need for an elaborate apology and a separate calculated plan for propagating forgiveness in an individual when they have committed an offense against a person who is close to them. A hearty handshake or hug, some eye contact, and a sincere “I’m sorry,” usually suffices.
5. Never Ask That Question
“That Question,” does not relate to any specific question, but it does refer to a particular type of question that all women ask. Women tend to ask men questions that they already know they answer to, or questions that will garner responses that they do not want to accept. “Does this dress make me look fat?” Yes, that dress does make you look fat. You knew that it would make you look like a house when you picked it up. You knew that it was too small when you squeezed into it. You knew how looked when you asked your partner about the dress because you spent fifteen minutes staring at the strained seams of the fabric in the mirror. “Do you think that my friend is hot?” If your guy says ‘No, she’s not my type,’ then you will either be insulted that he does not like your friend or think that he is lying because you know she is gorgeous. If he says yes, then you will be jealous of her and think that he is trying to sleep with her. There is no correct answer to any of these types of questions. Do not ask them.
Chris Rock said it. Your best friend is trying to bang you.