By William Bixby
Better sex for any man is predicated in what he does do and does not do in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom. That’s right guys, what happens in the bed is not mutually exclusive from what happens out of the bed even though some guys treat them that way. For a man to have good sex consistently, he has to perform consistently. And, good sex depends on quite a few actions that are made by men. Here is a simple guideline for making the ladies happy in the bedroom.
One of the easiest ways to get a woman in the mood is to throw a few compliments her way. However, any attractive woman receives plenty of empty compliments from men daily, so your comments about her have to be more intent and descriptive. Make sure that you do not go into detail about her boobs, butt, or any other body part. You are not a construction worker, and even if you do work in construction, that does not mean that you have to act like a rowdy hardhat wearing lunatic. Compliment her on her outfit or shoes if you want to make her blush. She probably took hours putting together her ensemble, stressing over the minute details of color coordination, so a small compliment can set you apart from the other idiots who are vying for her attention. Commenting on her sense of style is a direct compliment to her as a person rather than a simple show of praise to a sexual object. Ironically, refusing to objectify her leads her to being more sexually receptive to you.
Make Love to Her Brain
Men regularly compartmentalize love and sex into two distinct categories, but women seldom separate the two. Which means that no matter how dirty the sex that you want to have with a woman is, you have to connect with her emotionally first. Talk to her, but more importantly, listen to her attentively. Nothing is more sexy to a woman than a man who is obviously into her mentally and emotionally because so many men are only interested in their bodies (even when they have been in long relationships together). Be sure to smile and be responsive. But most of all, be available to her and vulnerable with her. An emotional connection subsists to guide all future physical intimacy.
Men need to know the difference between being flirty and being dirty before seducing their lady. The things that you want to hear from a phone sex operator is rarely what a woman wants to hear you say before sex. So, keep your nasty comments about slathering her up and down with peanut butter and pretending to be a stray dog to yourself. Being flirty means complimenting her and expressing to her how excited she makes you. Your woman needs to feel sexy in order to have sex, and her sexiness is influenced by your words. Leave her a note that says that you can not wait to have a little “dessert” after dinner. Whisper in her her ear how excited seeing her in her short skirt and high heels makes you. Express to her that she makes you feel hot and bothered and she may get excited too.
Foreplay is essential to good sex. Whereas men only need an erection to enjoy sex, women need a little more coercion and manipulation. And for most women, the foreplay is by far the best part of their sexual experience. So remember to kiss her. Kiss her passionately and continuously. Nibble at the nape of her neck and drag your lips across her body while kissing her all over. You want to make her feel desired by you. Your kisses should be hot and steamy, and only after she is completely engulfed in the make out session should you begin exploring with your hands. Your touch should be gentle and conservative at first and slowly move towards firm and decisive as she is more receptive to you. Slow and steady wins the race with foreplay.
The Main Event (for her)
Oral sex is not a race and it is not about you. So, treat it accordingly. Only about 40% of women actually report being able to climax from penetration alone and they do not climax every time. 85% of women finish from having oral sex performed on them, so good oral sex is necessary in every bedroom. For sex to be fun, you have to be enthusiastic and attentive to your partner’s needs. Your ability to help a woman finish depends on your willingness to read her physical cues. The way a woman moves her body tells you what she wants from you, so be aware of her subtle hints. Read how her pelvis moves to assess what you do next. Listen to what she says she wants and comply. Once again, your touch should be gentle at first and become more firm as the two of you continue. Remember you are touching the most sensitive part of her body, so be careful.
The Final Act
Your skills of assessment will help you again once you begin actual intercourse. First, you have to know the perfect time to transition into sex. Ideally, that would be after her third, fourth, or seventh orgasm, but a woman may or not climax with you depending on how comfortable she is with you, how well she knows her own body, and a myriad of other factors. But, you should follow the woman’s lead with the start of sex too. Be mindful that having sex does not mean hammering away until you finish. No, sex is a form of intimacy that two people share and the experience is contingent on both partners walking away satisfied. There is a time for pounding, but most instances call for smooth stroking.