Every red-blooded American man wants to date a size two, 5’11″ supermodel with a huge natural rack and nice hips. But, dating this unicorn proves unrealistic for most guys. First, there are not a lot of women in the world who legitimately fit into the supermodel face with a lingerie model body category. Second, the women who have both an extremely beautiful face and a ridiculous shape generally date incredibly handsome men, incredibly wealthy men, or guys who are both good-looking and rich (Everyone hates you Tom Brady). The common dating man generally finds himself with ordinary women, and by the averages, some of these women will be more attractive than others for various reasons including but not limited to physical beauty, emotional compatibility, and sexual promiscuity. However, there is one group of women that has been largely ignored by normal American men based solely on their size, the big girls. With all the body positivity going around, now is the time to hook up with a fat girl. Big women are beautiful and have countless attributes that the average man would love. So let’s objectify some women.
1. Big Women Have Bigger Boobs
Everyone loves breasts. Gay men and straight men love them. Women love them too. Breasts are visually appealing, and bigger boobs are an obvious advantage to dating larger women because big women generally have some pretty substantial boobs. An angel cries every time a female who weighs over 200lbs. reaches sexual maturity with a B cup, and since heaven is totally against big girls with flat chests, the phenomena is rare in real life. Breast tissue is mostly fat, and the larger a woman gets, the more likely that her breast size increases first. In fact, women generally gain weight in their hips and their bust before they add inches anywhere else on their body. That is science. More fat equals bigger cleavage. A little extra weight can help to boost a woman’s physique, so as a standard rule, big girls usually have bigger boobs.
2. Big Girls Are Not Afraid to Eat
When you take a skinny woman out, inevitably she orders water, a side salad, and then is bitchy and irritable for the rest of the meal. She complains about her figure incessantly and harasses the waiter, not because she is a terrible person, but because she is hungry. Big women do not have this issue. If you date a fat girl, then the two of you will actually eat when you go out. Hell, she may pay for the meal too. Fat girls are not afraid to put away a few plates of food at the buffet, and they are probably decent with an apron on too. A woman who likes to eat, may learn to cook. Date a woman with a few more pounds because she can prepare a decent meal, and is not afraid to be herself and eat.
3. Fat Girls Are More Comfortable in Their Own Skin
Some women with a few more pounds are accustomed to smaller women getting more attention than they do, and they know themselves better because of it. Big women mature faster, and therefore are more confident in who they are as people. And, because they know themselves, they are more fun to be around. These ladies are more likely to love sports, more willing to try new things, and better company in general. Some big girls are also low maintenance. They do things for themselves rather than asking for you to do them. They can be very handy around the house, and they are well-equipped for dealing with your terrible attitude because they are used to dealing with selfish friends. Every big girl has a hot friend that is also a bitch. You could take that friend’s place.
4. Big Women Are More Comfortable with Their Bodies
People think that the hottest women are the best in bed. This is a horrible lie. The women that men fawn over are invariably boring and uncreative at sex. Most men are just happy to sleep with hot women, so those women never learn to please themselves or their partners. Big girls are comfortable with themselves sexually. They know what they want and they know how to please. They are usually attentive to their partners and very animated in the bedroom. Big women love sex and a good number are orally fixated. Big girls know how to keep their man happy.
5. Big Girls Will Keep You Warm in the Winter
Whales swim in the freezing cold waters of the Pacific. Polar bears survive in the Arctic despite living on the frozen tundra. The lesson here is that fat is warm. When winter comes, you are going to need someone to keep you warm, and a beanpole with a head full of extensions is not going to do the job. Tiny girls will not keep you toasty on those long, winter nights and they will probably ask you for your jacket. But, the big girls will hold on to you through the night, and no one is more warm or cuddly than they are. Holding a large woman is like wrapping yourself around the softest, warmest pillow that you could imagine. A fun, lighthearted pillow with big boobs.
6. Big Girls Take Care of Themselves
If you pay closer attention to bigger women, you will begin to notice that a significant amount of them keep their hair and nails professionally done. These women are always made up, and they exude femininity. Big girls maintain themselves better than a lot of smaller women presumably because they have had to do more for attention. In the recent past, skinny has been the ideal for beauty so women who carried a few extra pounds have honed the finer skills of looking your best at all times.
7. More Cushion
Any man who has had a tiny woman grind her nonexistent butt into his pelvic bone knows that a woman needs a little meat on her bones for sex. This is not meant to bash petite women, but sex is only painful for men in two instances. One is when a woman has absolutely no knowledge or respect for a boner not being made of reinforced steel. This one usually ends with a trip to the hospital for a broken penis (Yes, they can break). Two is the less traumatic, but nearly as painful continual slapping together of butt bone and pelvic bone. A lady with a little more butt remedies that problem.
Fat girls are the new hot girls. They are just as pretty as the skinny girls, better adjusted than the typical hot girl, and more likely to be cool and friendly than any other type of woman. We need a return to the Victorian standard of attractiveness when women with a little more weight were more desired than smaller women. Fat girls are sexy, and there are plenty of reasons to actively date them.