Certain relationships are paramount to eventually landing in a mature, fully-functional relationship with the woman that you love. Specific experiences ready you for the trials of building a connection with another human being, and only a select few women prepare you for an eventual eternal partnership with the woman of your dreams.
The First Love
The way that you feel about her is “puppy love” defined. You adore each other, and want to spend every moment together. This woman is the first woman with whom you spend a lot of time alone together and you enjoy the nonsexual activities as much as the sexual ones. Your first love is generally your first taste of emotional intimacy. She shows you that women can serve as friends and lovers. From her, you learn that you can love a woman for who she is and not just what she does for you. This woman is usually a girlfriend from high school or the first real girlfriend in college. Your intentions are pure and the time that you spend together is magical. But, ultimately the two of you separate over boredom, youth, or any myriad of reasons. Neither of you is emotionally mature enough to build a lifetime with one another, so you split up and pursue love elsewhere.
The Fun Girl
This category should be called the fun girls. After dating your first love, you go through a stretch of dating women who are fun to be around but missing something essential to a fulfilling relationship. In some instances, you can pinpoint their deficiencies easily. One chick might be crazy, another might be anxiety ridden, and yet another may have a drinking problem. Sometimes, the issues are not so tangible. However, in college, you move through a series of relationships that you know will not succeed, but you stick around with these women for the good times and sex until the ride is over. There are women that you sleep with, women that you hang with, and women that you ignore, and college is the time when you learn to decipher between them all. Fun girls teach you what traits you want in a partner and which traits are deal breakers for you.
The One You Should Be With
Occasionally, the one that you should be with is also your first love, and you can come up with every reason in the world for why the two of you should be together. Her parents are loaded and they love you. It is like you are a member of the family already. This woman is beautiful and intelligent, but you enjoy spending time with the amenities that she affords you more than you enjoy actually being with her. In the beginning the relationship was exciting and new, but the spark left the relationship after a few years and neither of you know why. You can visit her brother or mom without her being there and have a great time, but the time that the two of you spend together seems forced and contrived. You have all the same interests and similar backgrounds, but the relationship does not work. Inevitably, you break up and there is no tangible reason why you split. But, both of you know that despite the love for each other that you have, you can not make this romance work. Losing the one that you should be with teaches young men that loving someone does mean that they are destined to be with that person.
The One That Got Away
Every man has a story of the one that got away. She was perfect for you in every way, but you slept with another woman and she never trusted you again. And sometimes the incident that breaks you up is not that drastic. For some men, the reason that they lose the perfect woman is simply because they can not tell the truth. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and if a woman can not trust that your intentions are pure in the relationship, then she can not trust you. Even a lack of intimacy (emotional, not physical) can be the reason that you lose the one. She worshiped the ground that you walked on, but you did not trust her enough to be vulnerable with her. She left you, and you fought for her to no avail. The story of the one that got away always ends in heartbreak for both parties involved, and some men never get over that relationship. She will marry a guy who sweeps her off her feet, and he will be better than you in every way imaginable. She’ll live the perfect life and you will feel left behind. However, missing out on the woman who you think is perfect for you shows you that you have to put work, trust, and respect into every romance that is worth fighting for before it is too late.
You thought that there was no hope for you romantically until you met her. From the moment that you met, it was like you had known each other your entire lives. She is not perfect by any means, but she is perfect for you. You have learned what you want from a woman and what is unacceptable for you. You have learned how to treat a lady and how to express your feelings. You trust her and you behave responsibly and with integrity. Both of you work to keep the relationship fresh, but it does not seem like work. All of your experiences with women have molded you and prepared you for the time that you will spend with her. And, you are ready to spend a lifetime with this particular woman because you have sculpted your ideals of women and of your relationship through the numerous dates that you had prior to this relationship.