By William Bixby. Enjoy.
Recently, there has been another movement across the nation towards more equality for women. Women are more empowered today than they have ever been, and with better education, better pay, and stronger vibrators, ladies are finding less practical uses for men. They truly are becoming independent. Women can live prosperously without the help of any man.
However, some of these women have this independence concept slightly misconstrued. Ladies, if you are living at home with your parents, then you are not an independent woman. If you are driving a car that you did not buy, then you are not self-sufficient. If you are living in a house with a mortgage that you can not pay, behind on your car payments, behind on your taxes, and not paying any of your bills for whatever reason, believe me, you are not an independent woman. Independent women are competent and rely on themselves. They pay their bills on time with money that they have earned through hard work, not by having over-indulgent parents or a stable of male suitors ready to give them anything that they want. Independence is gained through mature decisions and stable income, not through getting pregnant by the right guy or being born into the right family.
The real problem with independent women is that they rarely are independent. And, even when women are financially competent, they often think erroneously that men are useless if they do not earn more. Just because a woman is fiscally responsible for herself, that does not mean she does not need anyone emotionally. There is a large misconception that the new woman does not want or need a man for anything. Both men and women need intimacy to be fulfilled. Case studies show that infant primates died within days without contact from other primates. Humans are not solitary creatures; they need contact from others too. This means independent women need contact. They require close emotional connections and interactions with men, just as men do. So, even if these women are financially responsible, they are still dependent on men for emotional support.
And, the biggest problem with independent women is their effect on the family structure. All the celebrity moms and Oprah will make women believe that having children is an easy task, however raising kids requires two parents. If a father is absent and will not assume responsibility for his children, then being a single parent is the only option. But, if a woman chooses to be single parent in the wake of a failed relationship, instead of sharing responsibility, then she is hurting her child. Women nurture children which is necessary to their development and well-being. But, men play important roles in the development of children too. Girls need fathers to learn how to love and what to look for in a mature, loving relationship. The men in a woman’s life give her positive or negative role models that set the standard for all the men that she will date in her adulthood. Fathers show their sons how to be men. Men carry a separate set of codes and ethics that differ from what women believe, and it is their burden to pass these ethics to the next generation of men. A woman, no matter how intelligent and well-meaning, can not teach a man how to be a man. Their independence undermines the value of fathers and children need their fathers. And the images that rich, Hollywood single mothers give of healthy well-rounded children give real working mothers a false sense or reality about raising kids. They pay nannies to parent their children while they are away on vacation. Real mothers look to their partners for support.
This is the real independent woman.
As the father of a young daughter, I have the responsibility of teaching her to be self-sufficient and self-reliant, but not self-centered and solitary. Teaching young women to be responsible is necessary and even admirable, but teaching them that men are useless is foolish and irresponsible. Women and men need each other to love, live, and provide the best healthy environment for children. There is no such thing as independence, women.