Guys, you should not date sex workers. This idea seems like it should go without saying unless you work as a bouncer at a strip club, you just started your promising career as a male exotic dancer, you are a famous rock star or rapper, or you are a professional athlete. But, average guys make this mistake fairly regularly. They go to an adult establishment, spend exorbitant amounts of money on these women, and pay the emotional price later. Strippers are not regular women even though they have all the same parts. They will not respond to the average situation with typical responses, because they think completely differently from the average woman. Dating an exotic dancer will put you on a roller coaster ride that ends in personal chaos. There are plenty of reasons why you should not date a stripper, but AnswersFromMen.com has compiled a list of the most important reasons why they should be left alone.
1. Everybody Has Seen Her
Let’s start with the obvious. When you date a stripper everybody has seen your girlfriend naked or can see your girlfriend naked whenever they want to see her. There is something to be said about exclusivity. A Toyota Camry is a really nice vehicle, but it is not considered a sexy car choice because literally anyone can own one. But, everyone gets excited when they see a Rolls-Royce Phantom. People will make reservations months in advance to eat mediocre, uninspired food prepared by a Michelin three-star chef because of the title bestowed on the chef and because the restaurant restricts how many people can get into the establishment. The Phantom and the Michelin rating represent privilege. With a stripper, everyone has as much access to her as you have. If some idiot from your office wants to watch your girlfriend’s boobs swinging to some random Mötley Crüe song, then all he has to do is visit the Blue Flame on Tuesday night. She will be there shaking the girls for a few dollars. Inevitably, some guy is going to touch your girlfriend inappropriately. He might grab a body part or stick his face or fingers somewhere they should not be. If she smiles as she pushes him away or (even worse) allows him to touch her, how would that make you feel? It is her job to sell sexual fantasies to men. She is not doing anything wrong, but you would want to fight the guy and blame her for disrespecting you. Nobody wins. If anybody can have your girlfriend at anytime, why would you want her?
2. Skewed Understanding of Money
For a large majority of strippers, money and sex are completely intertwined. Most dancers do not actually sell sex directly (as in intercourse), but all of them sell their sexuality for a finite price. And, though some people would argue that all men are spending money for sex in some capacity (whether it be by paying for a date or soliciting a prostitute), in the gentleman’s club, there is a predetermined price for 2-5 minutes of sexual attention. That type of transaction leads to an unnatural ideology about men and money for an exotic dancer. Their patrons become losers and fools in their minds. These guys think that there is some connection between the stripper and themselves because of the closeness and the touching, but all that sexual friction is just a means to an end for the women. And, that attitude can carry over into real relationships. Women who strip lose respect and trust for men. Think about what it must take for a woman to agree to take off her clothes in a room full of strangers to get paid. Regardless of what some feminists will tell you, that type of decision comes from a place of desperation or dysfunction.
3. Daddy Issues
Speaking of dysfunction, daddy issues are usually behind a woman making the decision to strip. The lack of a strong male figure in formative years leads to problems in romantic relationships, a lack of respect for authority figures, and ultimately to questionable choices as an adult. If a woman has never seen a healthy relationship between a man and a woman, then she has nothing to model her personal relationships after. Societal expectations and/or natural inclination may be the cause, but women usually are the nurturers and educators of their children. They teach kids how to learn and how to love. And, that love is unconditional. Men generally teach their children social skills and how to deal with their emotions. They teach kids how to act within the societal norms and the consequences of their actions. Without male figures to balance female teachings, you get unstable children who grow up to be irrational adults. And, no one is more irrational than a person who expects money whenever they take off their clothes.
4. Sexual Abuse
Let’s be honest. A significant number of sex workers come from homes where there was sexual abuse. Early exposure to mature sexual situations affects some of these women’s abilities to make sound sexual choices. Stripping, by itself, is a controversial and problematic sexual decision that abuse may have influenced because sex work does not appeal to the average person. People who have been sexually assaulted often have to guess what normal behavior is. They are not trusting. And, a woman who does not trust anyone will make your life a living hell. Victims of sexual abuse have been compared to war veterans diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. They have higher numbers of depression and suicide attempts than other women. They are much more likely to be hyper-sexual and more likely to partake in high risk behavior. That abuse starts these women on a path that is difficult to reconcile. And, dating a stripper forces you into direct contact with her emotional baggage.
You will always have competition for the affections of a beautiful woman, but with strippers you are at a unique disadvantage. You are, in essence, competing with pro athletes, drug dealers, rock stars, and rappers for a stripper’s affections. And though the average woman may not be swayed by rich men flashing literal piles of money at them, the average exotic dancer can be captivated by both celebrity and wealth. Those men live a lifestyle that you can not provide for her, and have the type of money that can change a woman’s life immediately. And, to reiterate, a stripper is motivated by money. The probability of your stripper girlfriend being a little more tactile with a genuine celebrity is high. And, that is if your girlfriend is loyal. If she is not loyal, then she may sleep with that celebrity for a shot at a little more cash. Prostitution represents a significant part of exotic dancing. And to be clear, all women who dance do not necessarily sleep with their customers for money, however in every club there are women who price their services out in the V.I.P. room.
6. Unconventional Hours
Dating an exotic dancer requires the type of trust that few people have. And, the hours of operation for strip clubs do not help with building trust. As mentioned before, strippers work a job where they are nude or scantily clothed all night long while men paw at them for the entirety of their shift. When the customers are not aggressively grabbing them, then the stripper is actively trying to convince them to part with their hard-earned dollars by flaunting her sexuality at them (which is a nice way of saying she rubs her boobs and butt on their lap until they concede). You, her boyfriend, know that she “dances” from late at night until the early morning grinding on men’s erections. Your stripper girlfriend will come home with a pocket full of money and be too exhausted to interact with you because of her long night at work. Unless you work the same unconventional hours that she works, when she comes home, you will be at your job or headed to your job. And then, when you get back home, she will be headed out again to rub her body against stranger’s boners. The lack of personal time and the inevitable perceived lack of interest from her can lead to trust issues in your relationship. Your sex life may dwindle if you have an honest girlfriend because her life is sex. There is an emotional toll for selling sex even if intercourse is not involved. If she is not honest, then your stripper lover may be sleeping with her coworkers while you are working. Stripping lends itself to sexual exploration. Her career involves her being naked, touching other naked women, and titillating horny men. Sooner or later, trust and integrity will be violated.
7. Drug Problems
Sex work has a long history with illicit drugs and mental illness. And, dancers are no exception to that rule. Drugs and alcohol are a big part of stripping because the work is so stressful, and only a few types of people can cope with dancing. Everyone talks about the dancer who is paying her way through school, but she does not exist. There are basically three types of women who strip, women who have children but have no way of supporting them independently without dancing, women who were abused physically or emotionally and have no other way of supporting themselves, or women with drug addictions. Anybody from those backgrounds would need to self-medicate to work at a job that consists of being naked, being groped, and creating a false intimacy with everyone they meet.
Strippers come from different walks of life with different personal stories, so every stripper does not fit neatly into the picture that was drawn here. There are some dancers who are completely drug-free. A pediatrician who worked her way through medical school at the Spearmint Rhino probably exists somewhere in the world. And, not all strippers are single moms who were sexually abused. However, most exotic dancers fit a lot of the criteria laid out here. In general, they are not stable people and money motivates them more than anything. So, if you are looking for a little adult fun, find the nearest cabaret and chat up a stripper. If you are lucky, then she might sleep with you and crazy women have crazy sex. But, if you are looking for a life partner steer clear of the strip club. Sharon who works in accounting and has a business degree is not going to blow you in a Chik-Fil-A parking lot because she worries about her reputation and her job. She is going to make sound personal and financial decisions, and have good old-fashioned Puritan sex. Sharon is a good life partner. “Candy”, on the other hand, is going to get drunk and bang you behind the dumpster at a Jiffy Lube. She does not have any responsibilities and everyone has already seen her naked in the Gentleman’s Club, so she does not care. She represents drama. Candy is going to bring home $1000 on Friday and ask you for money on Sunday because she is irresponsible with her finances. Candy is going to get pissed at you, hit you with her stripper heels, and key obscenities into the side of your car. Candy is going to sleep with her stripper friend regularly, and say that the infidelity is alright because the other party is female and girls do not count. Or maybe she will screw some random NBA player when he promises her the world. Candy is a stripper, and no sane man would seriously date a stripper. If he is rich, then he is a meal ticket. If he is poor, then he is a masochist. Either way he loses.