“If you have to ask me if I like something, then you don’t like it.”
Women do not ask men questions because they genuinely want to hear their male counterparts’ opinions about random issues, especially when the question is about how she looks in her dress or what he thinks about a conversation that she had earlier. They already have a relatively well-formed opinion about the question that is being asked when they ask it. Women ask their significant others what they think because they need to vent or because they want further confirmation of what they think instead of a separate and possibly contrasting viewpoint. So, do not ask questions that are not real inquiries. Yes, your butt looks fat in those clothes. You knew that you looked frumpy in those clothes before you asked your boyfriend his opinion because you spent the last hour staring into the mirror. Your boyfriend’s obligatory, ‘You look fine,’ is inconsequential. Do not put him in a position where he has to lie to you or hurt your feelings. You know whether you like something before you ask.
“I am with you because I like you and I love you, not because I need you.”
As just average functioning adults, no one really needs anyone for day-to-day activities. The time period when people moved into familial roles to survive because subsistence was based on structure and interconnectedness is over. Daddy does not have to hunt while Mama cooks and the kids do chores. In fact, traditional roles have become nearly obsolete over the last twenty years because higher divorce rates have created more single parent homes and because the prevalence of households with two working parents have transformed typical family dynamics. People do not need marriage to thrive because both men and women can earn for themselves and take care of their homes. However, quite a few women think that their significant others might die without them in their lives. Unfortunately, those women are sadly mistaken. Your husband would not stop eating or go feral if he was not married to you. He managed his own life before you, so he could probably handle life if you left. You make life better for him, not manageable.
“If a guy’s stomach is slapping against your butt, do not tell him to go deeper.”
We both know that your boyfriend doesn’t have any extra penis that he is hiding somewhere while waiting for this unique occasion to surprise you with more inches. If he is all the way in you (and you know the full measurement of your boyfriend), then do not tell him to go deeper. Neither of you is going to be happy with the result. Switch positions. Change speeds. Angle your pelvis for better penetration. But, do not tell him to magically increase the length of his manhood. He will be embarrassed and you will be disappointed.
This is the state of a lot of women before and after marriage.
Men are simple. Whatever a guy required of you before he married you is the same thing that he wants from you to stay married. Situations change in every marriage, but consistency is how you keep a good man in a relationship. If you slept together 2-3 times a week before you were betrothed, then you can not expect to keep him with sex twice a month. If you cleaned the house every week prior to marriage, then regularly leaving clothes on chairs after the ceremony will be a point of contention. You cooked four times a week before you moved into the house with him. Now, you both eat out everyday. These things may seem small within the scheme and scope of marriage, however they are the reasons that your husband was attracted to you initially. Your behavior prior to marriage was part of the package deal and failing to act in congruence with the way that you acted before is reneging on your contract. Give him regular sex, decent food, and some relative quiet occasionally, and your man will stay with you. Be consistent.
“Your looks get our attention. Your attitude and personality keeps our attention.”
Any man who has been with the same woman for more than 3 years has probably moved past his infatuation with her physical appearance regardless of how gorgeous she is and how voluptuous her body may be. The old saying is true. For every beautiful woman in the world, there is a guy who is tired of sleeping with her. And, once you see all of someone’s personal flaws, you see them differently as a person. Even a supermodel begins to look average over the years because intimacy wears away the facades that people have guarding their personalities. And then, natural aging occurs too. Everyone looks different after a few years. You may have gained a few pounds and a few more wrinkles. Though, you are still beautiful by contemporary standards, the guy that you married saw you when you were younger and slimmer, so you have to rely on more than just physical beauty to keep him. Personality really is more important than prettiness in relationships.
Men everywhere realize that when a woman says that she is fine, she is definitely not fine. There are hundreds of thoughts that are rolling through a woman’s head every minute regardless of her benign “fine” comment, and it behooves her significant other to find the source of her anger, anguish, or apathy before her attention is pointed towards him. No person is worse or more volatile than a woman who is “fine” and being ignored. But, when a man says that he is fine, trust him. He is not wondering why you have been so distant over the last couple of days or trying to understand the meaning of life by sitting on the loveseat and brooding. When a guy says that he is fine, that serious grimace on his face is probably about him trying to figure out if he should clip his toenails.
“The difference between flirting and harassment is attractiveness.”
We live in a world where the accusation of sexual harassment is just as damning to the accused as actually harassing a person. And, for now, that atmosphere is necessary because men hold most powerful positions and abuse their position when unchecked. But, one of the most difficult observations or realizations for men who do not harass women is that too often the deciding factor of whether a case is harassment or simple small talk is the attractiveness of the man saying the words. “Hi beautiful,” sounds completely different coming from Chris Hemsworth than it does from Ed Sheeran. And though some would argue that the statement is harassing regardless of who spoke it and inappropriate in any public forum, its reception is different when the man who says the words is attractive to the woman with whom he is speaking.