Ladies, I’ve been giving advice to friends about dating since my teenage years and the same people make the same mistakes with seemingly the same guys. Under no circumstance do you date these men. They will not make good friends, lovers, or even associates. We will start with the most obvious choice.
1. The player - One woman is never enough for this fellow; he has enough love to go around. If he’s made it to 25 he also has enough kids and STD’s to go around. He is probably tall and good-looking, and he will talk to you and any other attractive girl that is around. Some players aren’t handsome, but they are financially secure and very charismatic. Regardless of his looks or bank account, he is always on the prowl. He’s an insatiable flirt around cute girls, but seems to really be into you too. A player can be difficult to figure out. Ladies, this is done purposely. When you talk to him, it’s magical. He always says the right thing and seems like he can’t wait to see or talk to you again. The intimacy is spectacular. Only, you almost never see him and he never calls. Confusing right? No, it’s actually pretty simple. He calls and spends time with someone else. He’s playing you and some other women too. It really is this transparent, if a guy likes you, he makes time for you.
2. Mr. Self-Centered - Does he take longer than you to get ready? Does he still not know your best friend’s name after a year of being around her and after vacationing with her and her boyfriend? It never seems like he’s listening, right? That’s because he’s not listening. He is too involved with himself to worry about your affairs. You just exist in a world that revolves around him. It doesn’t mean that he does not like you; it means he loves himself more than you could ever know. Unfortunately, your love for him is expendable.
“No, I can talk.”
3. The Male “Friend” - This is a myth ladies. It’s a fairy tale, like the Tooth Fairy, Big Foot, and a smart supermodel. The male friend does not exist. IT NEVER HAS; IT NEVER WILL. If he’s your friend he wants you. He’s just waiting for the right opportunity. How did you meet him? Let me guess he came up to you. Probably said, “You seem really cool/ nice/sweet/awesome/ whatever, we should hang out sometime.” When you told him that you have a boyfriend, he told you it doesn’t have to be more than a friendship, right? It is more than a friendship to him, ladies. When you have a flat, who is there with coffee and a tire iron? He isn’t. Your boyfriend is there. When your boyfriend screws up, who is the first to call? Your “friend”, saying how terrible your boyfriend treats you. Male friends are just auditioning for the role of boyfriend. He is waiting until you are the most vulnerable and broken up with your man to say, “Why don’t we give it a try?” If he’s really good, he’ll quickly follow that with, “we shouldn’t, I don’t want to mess up our friendship. You’re just so cool/nice/ sweet/awesome/whatever.”
This shows is your male friend is thinking about your friendship.
4. The Bitter Guy - His first girlfriend cheated with his best friend and all the women he has dated and will date will pay for it. He’s belligerent and mistrustful or sweet and a bigamist. The mission of the bitter guy is to avenge his ego. A liaison with him will be the worst relationship that any woman could have. His pain forces him to push you away.
5. Mr. Insecurity - Mr. Insecurity comes in two forms, the man obviously lacking confidence and the deceitfully insecure man. And, either man is completely undesirable.
A. The Man Nag - “Where have you been?” “Who were you with? I was worried about you.” “Are you okay?” This obviously insecure man has millions of questions for you daily; not because he is genuinely concerned about you, but because he does not want you to leave him. He has a poor self-image and can’t understand why you would want to be with him. And because of his real or perceived shortcomings, he will nag and worry you until you finally do leave and then appropriately blame himself for it.
B. The Jerk - This guy talks incessantly about your imperfections in public and private. He is outwardly the most brash, cocky, arrogant guy that you’ve met at first. His self-confidence drew you to him. But, after a few months you realize that the confidence that you saw when you first started dating was a cover for very low self-esteem. He is belligerent, belittling and just a bad person. The only way he thinks he can keep you is by lowering your confidence and self-esteem through verbal warfare.