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More Reasons Men Are Stupid

26 Jan


Men are great at a lot of different things, including but not limited to peeing while standing upright, drinking until blackout drunk, and propagating world peace through aggressive violence and planned genocide. But, they also fall short in a few areas. Men have trouble apologizing, they are undeservedly entitled, and they are often over-opinionated while being under-informed. Men run the world, but they can be idiots. Here are a few more reasons that prove their idiocy.

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1. Because We Argue with Women

No man has ever truly won an argument with a woman, because men can not win verbal contests against women. Women are better communicators armed with more words than men. Yet, men continue to engage in emotional conflicts with women despite plenty of evidence that proves the exercise to be futile. First, any argument with a women can be transformed from its original foundation in logic to an emotional battle at any moment. You can be completely right about the sentiments that you are arguing, unknowingly hurt the feelings of a woman, and have to apologize for unintentionally hurting her. Second, even if you get a woman to admit that she is wrong, she will hold your triumph against so stubbornly that the victory does not feel like one at all. Winning means nothing when a woman can cry or question a man’s penis size and essentially create a stalemate. No man can truly be happy when the woman of the house is not happy. So, arguing with women is stupid.

 fat guy speedo

2. Because We Have No Self-Awareness

300 lb. men who are equally as wide as they are tall walk around the beaches shirtless, hitting on supermodels relentlessly. These guys have no idea that a supermodel might be out of their league from just a physical standpoint. Guys with no job and unrealistic career goals expect to live in a dream house with a nice car, a wife, and kids. Men have no idea how the real world works. They very rarely have a clear physical and emotional understanding of themselves. Either their worth is tied to extraneous objects and they come off as self-absorbed, pompous jerks, or they are completely deluded and have inflated egos despite not having much going in their favor.

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3. Because Men Are Never Wrong

Men can not admit ignorance. We have to know everything. Or more appropriately, we have to have you think that we know everything because some part of any man’s identity is tied directly to his ability to answer questions. The solutions that we extend to the people that question us do not have to be correct. They just have to be given confidently. Men are fully willing to give out the wrong information to anyone as long as they are also allowed to give the appearance of being knowledgeable to everyone.

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4. We Send Dick Pics

Seriously, there is no reason to ever send an unsolicited dick pic to a woman. If a lady wants a visual of your penis, then she will request one. Surprise dick pics are only allowed from men to other men.

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5. We Need Toys

Men never really grow up. We get more responsibilities, and sometimes we make better decisions, but ultimately we are kids at heart. And, kids need toys to satiate themselves. The playthings get more expensive with larger bonuses and bigger paychecks, but what is a Ferrari other than a child playing with the best entertainment that his money can buy. Does anyone need a car that can go from 0-60 mph in under 6 seconds? No. There are very few groups of people who completely understand the correlation between horsepower, torque, and traction, and nearly all of them are involved in racing or physics. But, that does not stop millionaires from buying expensive cars that they can not drive. Men are stupid.

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6. We Take Risks

Scientists would say the cause is excess testosterone. Philosophers would say the cause is socialization. But, whatever the reason, men take more risks than women. You never see women hit a pipe against a wall, stare at the pipe, and then hit themselves in the head with the pipe. You never see little girls look at a chin-up bar, break into a full sprint, and then attempt to swing a full circle around the bar only to fall head first onto the ground. You never see women break into fistfights because someone insulted them, stepped on their shoes, or ignored them. Guys are wired differently, and the wiring is faulty.


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