Texting has become an essential part of the dating landscape in the last few years. Before, a guy had to call and hold a decent conversation with a lady if he wanted to pursue her, but in this generation of immediacy a strong text game is all that is necessary to do well with the ladies. Women have their phones with them all the time. It is next to them when they wake up in the morning and when they go to sleep at night. It is with them in classrooms or business meetings. A woman’s phone never leaves her side, so it is a useful tool in wooing her. But, everyone’s text skills are not up to par despite the importance of texting in today’s texting landscape. Here are a few do and do not’s when texting a new woman.
Do: Keep It Simple
Guys often worry about creating some elaborate, clever text to wow the woman that they are pursuing. And, the first text is important, however it does not have to be complex. A good text, especially the first one, is about simplicity and connection. Make sure that you use her name in the text, and make sure you say your name. If there was some significant moment that she would remember or some nickname that you made up for her, then mention it. That moment or name serves as a good reference point for her, and it points to the connection that the two of you have already made.
Do Not: Keep It Casual
A decent grasp of the English language is completely necessary to avoid coming off like a douchebag in text messages. Your texts to a hot girl who does not you, but may like you are not the place for “Wassup? Wat r u doing?” The woman who receives texts like these are laughing at you with their friends, and immediately friend-zoning you. And, that is if she calls you at all after your small bout with idiocy.
Do: Show Some Personality
If you make the same drab conversation that every other guy that texts her does, then she will lose your number quickly. Believe me some of those boring guys are better looking than you, some have considerably more money, and some are both rich and handsome. Fortunately for you Quasimodo, personality trumps looks and cash. This is the time to text something clever and/or weird. It sets you apart. So, tell her you have been kicking puppies or planning world domination when she asks you what you have done today. Tell her you have been looking for a pretty girl to have a drink with and ask her if she knows any. Whatever you do, make sure that you stand out from the rest of the guys who are actively pursuing her.
Do Not: Kill Your Own Conversation
Progressing your conversation with an attractive woman should be the only goal of your text messages. That means asking the types of questions that lead your lady to talk about herself, and a lot of men fail right here. Asking yes and no questions are a dating death sentence. She will inevitably label you boring if you can not keep her talking, so learn to ask open ended questions. Instead of texting, “Did you have a good day?” Text her, “What happened at your job today?” And, follow up with something specific that she has said to you about her job, like asking about her annoying coworker, her abrasive boss, or her big project. Texting is about finding the subjects that are important to the woman that you are pursuing and allowing her to be expressive about them. Never limit your conversation by narrowing down the answers that she could give you with dead-end texts.
Do: Paint Pictures
The reason that Donald Trump won a presidential election and the reason that millions of women read cheesy erotic novels with Fabio on the cover is because people, and particularly women, respond to imagery that touches their individual emotions. Trump built his campaign on separatism and the mental picture of a huge wall protecting the U.S. from illegal aliens. Both are strong,visual ideals. Romance novels tie powerful sensual and sexual themes with individual imagination to hook their readers. Sensory language is wildly effective. So, you should use language that paints vivid pictures when sending a text. Instead of saying, “It is a pretty day.” Say, “Cool breeze blowing, golden rays on my face. Does it get any better?” Paint a picture for her.
Do Not: Bring Up Sex
One of the worst mistakes that you can make in your texts with any woman is talking about sex before you have had sex with her. First, she probably already thinks that guys are brain-dead idiots who are always trying to stick their penises in every random hole that they can find. And second, most guys who text her have already tried unsuccessfully to get her to talk about sex. Wait for her to initiate sexy talk. If she finds you attractive, then you will know it. And, never send an unsolicited dick pic. Nothing good has ever come of it.
Do: Call Her
Texting works, but eventually she is going to want to hear your voice. Build on you text messages by keeping similar themes. If you texted her with a funny tone initially, then continue to tell jokes when you call or meet her. Show her the same wit and color that you used in your texts when you meet her.
Do Not: Keep Calling or Texting
She saw your text. She chose not to respond. And, that does not necessarily mean that she is not interested in you. What it does mean is that she decided not to text you back immediately when you texted her. Do not attempt to contact her more than twice without her responding to you. Too many texts make you look desperate, and it ruins your chance of connecting with her. She may have been busy. She may not be interested in you. Either way, calling her or texting her multiple times will not change her feelings toward you. Craft a fun text and wait for her to respond.
Understand that handsome and attractive are two different things, and that how you look has no effect in a text message. So, if you are an average-looking guy with a strong text game, you can be just as effective with women as a guy who physically looks better than you. And, if you are a great-looking guy with a weak text game, then you will miss out on a lot of women who may be interested in you. Follow these texting rules if you want to use your phone as a dating weapon. Your texting skills may be the difference between a night with a beautiful woman and a night alone.