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How to Spot A Lesbian

2 Jul

With gender fluidity and a push towards political correctness and tolerance for everyone, deciphering who the person is with whom you are most compatible has become even more difficult than it has ever been. In the old days, men talked to women, and those women either reciprocated their advances or shut the men down. But, social media applications like Tinder, Grindr, Snapchat, and Twitter have stopped millennials from actually conversing with each other in person. The few people who are still trying to interact in real life without a screen may have some trouble finding a suitable partner without a few clues about other people’s sexuality. So, for all the heterosexual men trying not to waste their time on a woman who has zero interest in guys and for all the single lesbians out there, here are a few clues on how to spot a lesbian.

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Listen to the Woman

Always listen to the woman. If you want to determine a woman’s sexuality, then listen to the way that she speaks. Key words like queer, femme, or stud in her conversations with others will out her as a . These words point to her lifestyle and are not generally used in heterosexual relationships. Another quick tell is if she uses the term “my partner” to describe her significant other rather than saying her husband or boyfriend. And, if she refers to her partner as her wife, then she is probably gay.

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Location, Location, Location

Nearly every metropolitan area of a big city has an area where the LGBTQ community prefers to hang out. And if you are in a bar, a club, or any other social establishment located near that part of the city, there is a decent chance that the woman that you meet may be into other women. You have to know your surroundings before you attempt to connect with anyone.

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Don’t Look for the Plaid

People think that identifying a lesbian is as simple as finding a girl dressed in boy clothes, however fashion has become more gender fluid as society has become more sexually fluid. The big shift in the way that people wear their clothing is a direct result of a shift in the way that people view themselves. So, plaid shirts will not help you distinguish between a queer woman and a straight woman. A purposeful choice of style built on androgyny is more

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Men know to look for wedding rings when they approach women, because a wedding ring is either a deterrent for the average man with traditional values or a sign that a woman who is interested in extramarital sex can not spend too much time with her lover. But, men often miss how important the location of a ring is. A ring on the middle finger or the thumb, particularly those made of silver, is a big hint that you may be approaching a lesbian.

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The more piercings a person has, generally, the more fluid they are sexually. And piercings, specifically in places other than the lower lobe, are a clue that a woman might be interested in the same sex. Septum and general nose piercings, labrum piercings, tongue piercings, jewelry on the upper ear, the eyebrow, and the Monroe piercing are visible signs that a woman may be into other women.

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Check Her Nails

Long, acrylic nails are a dead give away that a woman is not into other women or that the woman is a pillow queen who does more receiving than giving. Just imagine the damage that long nails would do to a certain, sensitive part of the female anatomy. Lesbians usually have short, trimmed nails.

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Short Hair, Colored Hair

Short hair has been a staple of women coming out since lesbianism became a big thing in the 80s. But, short hair by itself can be misleading. Women cut their hair for a plethora of reasons including, but not limited to beginning a new chapter in their lives, after a new job or a breakup, because of health problems, and for functionality. But, short hair colored neon bright is a sign of an alternative lifestyle.  At the very least, brightly colored hair shows an affinity for the unconventional.

And then, there is the undercut. When used in conjunction with two or more these other indicators, women with undercut hairstyles might as well be waving a rainbow flag while kissing their girlfriend in an episode of the L Word . By itself, this cut is meaningless because the undercut may be worn by straight people. But, when a woman has an undercut and multiple tattoos and piercings or that hair cut with “boy clothes” and a thumb ring, then she is almost certainly gay. Whenever you are wondering whether a woman is gay or straight, look for the undercut. If she has this hairstyle chances are that she likes women.

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Lesbian Tattoos

Star tattoos used to be a clear sign that someone was a member of the gay community, and the nautical star specifically was huge among lesbians. But, with the recent popularity of tattoos a star is somewhat less symbolic. However, there is still some ink that serves as unmistakable indicators of someone’s sexual preference. Any rainbow tattoos on women are good sign that they might be bisexual or a lesbian. Intertwined female symbols mark women who consider themselves purely lesbian. And, women who have matching tattoos like key and lock tattoos or the same tattoo in matching areas are giving hints at their sexuality. The only exception to this is when the women are related.

Woman with short black hair and tattoos

The Rule of Two

For every additional tattoo that a woman has on her body over the sum total of two she is proportionately more likely to be into women. It is science. Tattoos also represent an alternative lifestyle.

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Lesbians who have come out of the closet are some of the most comfortable people in their own skin in the world. They have spent enough time in their personal lives trying to appease their loved ones and meet the expectations imposed upon them, so when they finally come out of the closet, lesbians feel free to live life in the way that they want. And, regardless of what some women will tell you, no one enjoys wearing high heels. Ladies might enjoy how the shoes look. They enjoy the power of femininity that courses through them in pumps. But, no woman in the history of the planet loves the feeling of leather eating through the skin of their ankles. No woman wants her toes squished so tightly into a shoe that she questions if her pinky will break if she clips the curb with the side of her foot or if the shoe will just explode under the pressure.


Lesbians are not hard to spot if you know all the signs. Check her hair, her nails, and her style if you want to know if a woman is a lesbian. Whether you are curious because you are a woman looking for a date or you are a man trying not to waste his time on a woman who is not interested, the signs are all there if you are paying attention.

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