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Why Feminists Are Stupid

12 Jul

The world needs feminism like it needs airborne AIDS. Yes, there are great inequalities between the sexes that still exist in the world. There are crimes against women, not only in the poor third world countries, but also in the most civilized and distinguished communities. However, the world does not need feminists to combat these atrocities because most feminists are idiots. They are evil, angry women who point out every perceived inconsistency that exists in the world in an ill-conceived attempt to bring about equality. Below are the most blatant failures of practicing feminists.

1. Every Image of a Woman Is An Insult

barbie - anatomically correctSeriously? Is this necessary?

Does the media pose unrealistic standards of beauty in every facet of advertising? Absolutely. Physical beauty, youthfulness, and sexuality drive advertisements in this country. But, the same elements drive basic human attraction which is why the propaganda is so powerful. Everyone loves pretty faces and big boobs. Deal with it. Should advertising companies use more “real women” in their advertisements? Yes. If the average size of a woman in the U.S. is a size 14, then more size 14s should be in the public eye. However, removing all the images that set an “unreachable goal of beauty” for young women is just as ridiculous as the media using supermodels to sell cars. Every example of the media using sex to sell products is not a personal affront on women. Rather than blame the media for the poor self image of young girls, more attention should be paid to having healthy conversations with young women about their appearance and the disparity between them and the models. You do not have to tear down standards of beauty in order to recognize your own self-worth. Ask the 400 pound guy who wears a Speedo to the beach.

2. They Misuse Words to Define Their “Oppression”

Everybody gets it. You’re working on your doctorate and you need to separate yourself from the rest of the mediocre candidates in your class. However, using terms like “patriarchy” or “paternal society” as a disambiguation of the original term does not make you any smarter than the underachievers you are desperately trying to outdo. Does the idea of “male privilege” exist in this society? Yes, men are given opportunities to succeed that women are not afforded solely because of gender. Women regularly face exclusion from some of the more lucrative positions in the workforce because they are not “one of the boys”. But, if you throw every perceived slight under the umbrella of inequality, and then label it some foreign term, then even your valid arguments become trivialized.

feminists arrestedIs showing your boobs this important?

3. They Fight for the Wrong Type of Equality

Every man and woman should be adamant about stopping the raping, beating, disfigurement, and killing of women at the hands of men. Misogynistic views and violence towards women has reached epidemic proportions, especially in third world countries. Feminists are well-served by demanding better treatment for the women who are being victimized by their husbands or assaulted in the streets and by harsher laws for the men who commit crimes against them. Similarly, fighting for equal pay in the workplace represents a worthy cause. Women who have the same level of education, comparable work experience, and the appropriate titles often make less than their male counterparts in big companies, and other working women often face barriers that are invisible to the public in big companies. Wanting equal opportunity for career advancement and desiring the same pay for the same job makes sense. Even fighting for the right to nurse a child in public is understandable. A child’s nutrition should come before society’s comfort with bared breasts. Studies show that kids who breastfeed have higher immunity to disease, better social skills, and are just more well-adjusted children.The health of children is a cause worth protesting. But, fighting for the right to go topless in public seems like a wasted argument. Men ogle and objectify women when they are fully clothed. Fighting for the right to free your boobs around the clock is asking for sexual harassment. Women should be able to bounce and jiggle haphazardly without being subjected to dirty looks and ugly comments. But, in the real world, people have eyes and make inappropriate, judgmental sexist comments. Feminists want to separate sexuality from the breast by making the female breast an organ that is used solely for feeding infants, however breasts are both functional and sexual. They engorge with blood when women get sexually excited just as the genitals do (Granted, men’s chests engorge too). They get more sensitive to the touch during sex just like the genitals and can be stimulated to enhance arousal. Hell, some women have reportedly been able to orgasm from breast stimulation by itself (men have not been reported to orgasm from breast stimulation). Breasts feed children, but they also serve a purpose in sex. And since women are not walking around the city with exposed vaginas and men keep their erections clothed in public, then boobs should be covered when they are not feeding infants.

4. Two Sides of the Same Sex Worker

The plight of the sex worker proves feminists have no clue of what they want as a whole. Feminists have no collective stance on the subject. Some feminists applaud sex workers for owning their own sexuality, and using a previously suppressed part of their humanity to provide for themselves. (Sounds kind of like Black people reclaiming the “N-bomb,” good in theory but abrasive, misguided, and exploitative in application). These women propose that sex workers have a unique power dynamic over their “consumers” (pun totally intended), and they believe that sex workers control their own fate, control their finances, and use their sexuality positively to their advantage. But, other feminists believe that all sex workers are victims of male oppression and are being exploited for their bodies. These feminists believe that the person who solicits sex is the person in power, and point to the sex slave trade and its impact on economy and women as proof of the exploitation of sex workers. Feminists regularly argue over which faction is right. How can any credible outfit have two opinions so far apart about such a huge topic? Either women are empowered by sex work or exploited by it. No subject is quite as divisive as how women use their bodies, and the fact feminists can not find middle ground on such an auspicious subject exposes how ridiculous feminists can be.

5. And, Since We Are on the Subjects of Ridiculousness and Sex….

Why do feminists attack the blowjob? Sex in itself is subjective and complicated, and sexual pleasure depends on several unique factors that are specific to the individual, including but not limited to personality, social cues, upbringing, personal experience, openness to experimentation, etc. People can not even agree on when sex has occurred (does it start at light petting, oral sex, or penetration?). How can feminists dictate to another woman what satisfies them sexually? People, not just women, love sex for different reasons. The main argument against fellatio seems to be that the act itself belies a submission of the female to male oppression, and that any sex act between two people should be mutually beneficial to both partners. Good sex inherently includes a lot of giving to your partner. Get over yourself feminists. People who are givers get personal satisfaction from pleasing their lover, and some feminists report feeling more powerful when giving oral sex to their male partners. Plus, statistics show that between 60-85% of women cannot orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation which means that happy women are also receiving oral sex from their partners. If your fight is against oral sex, then a lot of women will suffer unfulfilled sex lives when you win your cause. We live in a society that profits from sexual dysfunction and the shame that surrounds being a sexual being. Fighting against simple sexual gratification perpetuates the system that allows people to continue to have sex that is not gratifying. And what is the point of having sex if it does not satisfy?

male tears

6. Feminism Often Means Man-Hating

Please listen ladies, men are not the enemy. We can be sexist, self-involved and a bit apathetic when it comes to equality. However, very few men consciously or subconsciously despise women. Fighting for equal rights does not mean castrating any male member of the species who makes the mistake of being publicly chivalrous or somehow accidentally offends you in some other way. Sometimes a nice gesture is simply a good deed. Deal with it.

7. Some People Just Don’t Get It

Inevitably, some overzealous pissed-off feminist will leave a novel length, oppositional response to this fairly misogynistic post about angry women. And unfortunately, that post will surely fall on deaf ears. If you speak nearly as vitriolic and offensive as you should speak after reading this decidedly prejudiced article, then everyone who reads your comments will write you off as the typical angry feminist. And, if even if you articulate valid points in your rebuttal of this article, your views will meld into the preordained stereotype that all feminists are angry man-haters. No one will take you seriously.


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