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Women That Men Hate, But Would Still Sleep With in 2016

6 Aug

Hillary Clinton

This is Hillary’s second time on this type of list, but she deserves it. She made a real run at the presidency in 2016, and lost because the American people could not trust her. In fact, she was so untrustworthy that many Americans were willing to let a sociopathic, narcissistic billionaire businessman run the country. However, Hilary Clinton is still a state senator, a former First Lady, and possibly the most powerful woman in the world. Why should she not have her own scandalous public affair?


Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey is certifiably crazy. She allegedly threw a laptop at her ex-fiancée or out of a window when he played a Beyoncé song in front of her, she was hospitalized for “exhaustion” back in 2001, and she is even rumored to have left the inauguration of President Obama after she found out that she was not seated at the President’s table. Many performers have a list of amenities that they need to perform, but Mariah’s list is extensive. For public appearances Mariah Carey requires a pink carpet in her rom, 100 white doves to be released upon her arrival, a Rolls Royce for transportation to and from her venue, a pink podium, butterfly-shaped confetti, white roses, fresh juices and gourmet food, tea service for 8 brewed with fresh Polish spring water, 80 security guards, accommodations for an entourage of 15, and 20 white kittens. What sane person asks for 20 white kittens at every venue that they perform? She is not just admittedly, but boastfully a diva. And, a man would have to be insane to date her seriously. But, she is pretty, her body is voluptuous, she is worth $520M, and who wouldn’t want to hear her hit that high G7 note in the bedroom?


Any Kardashian

The entire Kardashian clan makes this list again. From the mother to the youngest daughter, the Kardashians are nutty. And unbelievably, the youngest of the clan seem to be the most normal of the group. The mom prostituted herself with three different famous men to insure her and her children’s futures, and then she convinced her hottest daughter to make money prostituting herself in a sex tape. All of her daughters make money showing their bodies and partying. The Kardashians have no discernible talent besides their incredible looks, and most of their appearances have come from makeup and a plastic surgeon’s knife. Fortunately for them, looks are enough for most men.

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Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj’s entire body is plastic, her before and after pictures look like a reverse meth progression sequence from a basic cable makeover show, and she stole her entire act from Lil’ Kim who is appropriately completely made of plastic too. At least Kim has street cred, though. She did a bid without snitching on her crew. What has Nicki Minaj done besides twerking? Nothing. Her butt is the stuff of legends though. And, a big butt and a pretty smile wins every time whether that butt is fake or not.


Amy Schumer

Women love her, particularly the feminists. But, men hate her. She is an overly-opinionated comedienne with an enormous forum that she exploits for money, fame, and recognition. Her mouth is always open, yammering about something that is both annoying and inconsequential. Nothing is taboo for Amy Schumer whether the topic of choice is politics, drugs, or sex. In fact, she often jokes about being considered a “sex” comedienne. And, even though sex is a topic that is trite and overly-discussed, it is her saving grace. Any woman that delivers a punchline about blowjobs probably knows her way around a trouser snake, and men would sleep with Amy Schumer just to test her skills….or to get her to shut up.


Jennifer Lawrence

Okay Jennifer, we get it. You want to portray yourself as a normal woman prone to all the awkwardness and regular shenanigans that common people face on a regular basis. You fall onstage and make weird faces. You are the anti-actress, unafraid to seem human. However, you are not a normal person, and the clumsy shtick is getting old fast. Men and women are growing tired of you pretending that you are not a movie star. You do not work the same hours that the average person works and you are paid extravagantly to do your job. No normal person gets treated the way that you do, so stop the act. The only reason that people put up with your nonsense is because, at the end of the day, you are still a cute, big-boobed blonde who titillates men.


Demi Lovato

Demi Lovato represents the crazy girl in the technical sense of the word. She had some partying issues when she was younger, and talked candidly about cutting herself. Punching a backup dancer was the moment that she realized that she had let things devolve too much. Lovato had some real emotional issues that she has since worked through, and every loves a story about redemption. However, even though people love these narratives, no one truly believes in redemption. People believe that Demi Lovato is the same crazy girl that she always was. And, that is okay because she is hot. Demi Lovato is a short, curvy brown-skinned woman with an edge and no real reservations about showing a little skin. Guys may be scared of her, but they would sleep with her.

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Cara Delevingne

In general, you should never challenge another person’s sexuality. But, Cara Delevigne openly makes questionable remarks about her own sexuality that raises brows. She said that women are crazy, and they can accept how crazy she is. Men are too rational and level-headed to love her insanity. And, when a person tells you that they are crazy, you should believe them. But, she is also a supermodel with long legs and a great shape. And, though she identifies as lesbian she is not completely resistant to male attention. She dreams about hot trysts with guys, and says that if the right man came along that she would run off and have babies with him.

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