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The Cool Chick: A Guide for Both Sexes

11 Sep

The most valuable romantic advice you will ever get is: Do not get into a relationship with someone based on their potential. This advice seems really simple and self-explanatory, but remember, the divorce rate in America is higher than Snoop Dogg on April 20th. Men and women are still trying to have lasting relationships by doing the same old things that have failed so many couples, time and time again. The second most valuable romantic advice (or therapeutic slogan) you will ever get: Do not do the same thing over and over, expecting different results.

Although the following list is structured for a male-reader, women should know that these are guidelines to follow as well. So, in order to get both men and women on the right foot, we thought we would first prepare you with a clear, user-friendly list to refer to when looking for a mate. A Cool Chick is essentially, the woman a man wants to be in a relationship with and the woman, a woman wants to be, in a relationship. If you find you are having a difficult time adhering to the list, or you feel very defensive, discontented, or even angry when reading it, you may have some baggage you need to sort out. A Cool Chick possesses a few key qualities and they are as follows:

1. Cool Chicks know when to stop talking.

A Cool Chick recognizes when she is too chatty, it may be after the fact, but she knows. Statistically, women speak 20,000 words per day. Men speak nearly three times less at about 7,000 words, and it is because of this that couples can get tense. “She talks too much”, he says. “He never listens”, she says. Cool Chicks use their resources: Girlfriends, mom, sisters, etc. She knows everything, even romantic matters, does not need to be hashed out between the couple of you.

2. Cool Chicks don’t try too hard.

Her beauty, inside and out, is very natural and effortless. She doesn’t require a lot of time to get ready. She speaks in the same tone of voice whether it’s just you and she or the two of you are out with others. She does not seek attention in cryptic ways, but she expresses her wants and needs directly and persuasively.

3. Cool Chicks submit.

Think less, whips and chains and more about her letting you be a man. This means, even in this day and age, she agrees to you opening the door, pulling out her chair, even ordering her meal. She is perhaps a very modern woman, but she can see the value in these traditions and wants to oblige your consideration.

4.Cool Chicks clean up messes.

Just because she is a Cool Chick does not mean she doesn’t slip up in her coolness. She says things she later regrets. She told you she would, but didn’t follow through. What separates the Cool Chicks from other women is that she admits when she is wrong and she may do it before you say anything about it. She knows what you did wrong too, but she fesses up to what she is at fault for. With this being said, A Cool Chick values honesty before most principles. If there are questionable things in her past or present, she will likely speak about them before you even ask. She not only cleans up her side of the street, but she takes preventative action to keep it from getting messy again.

5. Cool Chicks stimulate yo mind, maaan.

She is smart. She is smart but does not pretend she’s not smart to protect your ego or because she lacks self-esteem. She may have multiple degrees or is a member of MENSA, but you wouldn’t know about it unless someone else told you or you just happened to see her membership card on the kitchen counter (they don’t have membership cards). By the same token, she may not have a degree at all, in which case, you should not rely on a wall of credentials to confirm her intellect. Book-smart does not equal Cool Chick. A Cool Chick can offer her viewpoint in conversations, but you rarely get the feeling that she’s trying to prove something. She will know things but never has to claim that she knows things. She is insightful, clever, and probably multi-talented. She is also teachable because she loves to learn, and that’s probably how she got so smart in the first place.

6. Cool Chicks keep the party going.

Yes, she likes a good party but more importantly, you are not solely responsible for being fun or funny. Conversation bounces effortlessly back and forth between you and a Cool Chick. Hopefully you’re actually funny and if so, she will laugh sincerely and appropriately at your jokes. She makes you laugh genuinely because she is a combination of witty and not-too-sarcastic. If you find yourself saying, “That’s funny!” numerous times while talking with her, she may not be as cool as you want her to be. If she’s really funny, you don’t need to say anything-because you’ll be laughing.

7. Cool Chicks bring out your sensitive side.

This is simply because in her presence you feel at ease. Remember, A) She’s not trying too hard, so you don’t have to either and B) She lets you be a man. When a man must fight for his masculinity to be valued in a relationship, he probably will not open up, let his guard down, or be a little vulnerable, in an effort to prove his point. Cool Chicks are comfortable with themselves, allowing you to be comfortable too. Because of this, you will actually want to accommodate her need to see your emotions, your heart, and your tears when you watch The Notebook.

8. Cool Chicks are scared, but do it anyway.

You like to do extreme sports, camp, shoot guns, fish, watch football all day on Sunday, and play Halo when the game is over. She is afraid of heights, bugs, loud noises, baiting hooks with worms, and afraid she will be bored out of her ever-loving mind watching sports because she doesn’t understand the game or any of the terminology. A Cool Chick will do all of these things anyway because she takes an interest in what makes you happy. If she likes you, a Cool Chick assumes she may like what you like if she gives it a chance. She may end up never understanding the fantastic game of football and all of its traditions, but she’ll give it the old college try and she won’t fuss on game day. She will, however, be doing something else until it’s over.

9. Cool Chicks can dish it and take it.

She is not one of the guys, but she can throw and take a verbal punch, and laugh about it afterward. Women who do not have this quality will be hard to have around your friends and that produces problems for your relationship with her and your relationships with your friends. Disclaimer: This may mean she also curses like a drunken sailor, but not to worry, she can curb the eff-bombs, as needed.

10. Cool Chicks break bad habits.

Simply put, she knows you don’t like it and that bothers her. Maybe it’s all the cursing, biting her nails, smoking cigarettes, or watching Friend’s re-runs, in any case, what you think, matters. Now, this quality is only measurable in a dating situation that has become frequent. She has to be invested in you to want to be a better woman.

11. Cool Chicks have limits.

A woman who says, “Whatever you want to do”, a lot, is not necessarily laid back. A Cool Chick can be spontaneous and down for anything, but this will not be her usual attitude. Although an always-laid-back woman seems the cooler choice, you are at risk for dealing with someone with low self-esteem/self-worth. A woman who can make up her mind has reason to believe her thoughts and feelings are valuable and this is important because you won’t be expected to have all the ideas, make all the plans, and do all the work.

If you are with someone for what they could be, not what they are, you are doing a serious disservice to the both of you. Just because you see your unborn children in their eyes, does not mean they will ever live up to your imaginings. You never have to learn only from your own mistakes. Other couples have given us plenty of evidence of what not to do in relationships. Do something different. Look for something different.

If a Cool Chick finds herself dissatisfied in romantic relationships, she looks within herself for the change she seeks. The kind of woman described in this list is ready for a relationship. If you feel ready but do not possess these qualities, or if you feel strongly resistant to them, you may want to get a really honest friend to tell you what they think. Also, men: beware of the woman who is resistant.

Males reading this list should be looking for the woman described above if they are looking for Ms./Mrs. Right. If you are still happy playing the field, then go about your business and refer to this list when you are done. If you are looking for a long-term lady and your efforts seem futile, don’t give up. Attracting the Cool Chick is difficult if you don’t have some of the same qualities in yourself that she has. Get some self-esteem. Admit when you’re wrong. Be open to sharing feelings, etc. Print this and tape it to the refrigerator. Men and women should both tend to this list and assess their actions with the opposite sex, regularly. Keep up the good work-because in this game, you really do get points for trying.



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