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10 Reasons Why Being Italian Is Great

11 Oct

1. Olive Skin – We may not all be handsome and tall, but we do not have to worry about that dark part. Italians generally have the features that all the ladies love, dark hair, tanned skin, and bedroom eyes. We were made for romance.


2. The Language – Italian is a language of love for a reason. It is soft and flowing. The letters roll off the tongue fluidly and easily, anything sounds great in our language. “I mangiare cacca verde.” That’s ‘I eat green shit,’ in Italian. It is a terrible thing to say, but it sounds lovely in the old language. You know it’s true.


3. Stay at Home – Italians love and respect family, even if we can not stand our family members. Men and women stay close to their family through their twenties regardless of where they live, and there are no stigmas attached to Italian men or women who never leave the nest. In fact, in some families, the kids are expected to stay at home until they are married. No bills and home cooking are hard to give up.


4. Home Cooking – You have to go out to get good Italian, and we stay in. Italian men and women are judged by their ability to throw together a good dish. You know those meatballs that you love from the store around the corner? My grandmother makes those every Thursday. Spaghetti, linguini, fettuccine? Forget about it. My father makes the pasta from scratch on his days off. I will not get started on my mother. Italians know how to cook.

5. The Ladies – Per capita, Italian women have the biggest breasts in the world. Bigger than American women. Bigger than Swedish women. Bigger than English women. That’s right Italian women are stacked. The average cup size of an Italian woman is a D cup. And, do not forget about that beautiful olive skin.


6. We Got An Answer to Any Question – “You want to know why? Cuz screw you, that’s why.”


7. The Mob – Every Italian in the world is connected to the mob in some way. Okay, that’s a lie, but we will tell you that we are connected. And you know what, you will believe us. You want to know why? Cuz screw you, that’s why.


8. Art – Almost every one of the most important artists in art history is Italian. We have a rich artistic history. The standouts in classic painting, sculpture, and opera are Italian. Think about Michelangelo’s David or the deep, bellowing voice of Luciano Pavarotti. Italians set the standards in art.

9. Just Visit – When you get some time and a little money saved up, visit the Italian countryside. It is one of the most historic and beautiful sights that you will ever lay your eyes on. Rustic buildings and classic architectural design litter the quaintly cobbled streets. There are gondolas, street vendors, and cozy places to dine everywhere. There is no place in the world like Italy.


10. Italians Make the Best Lovers – It is true, we Italians are a passionate people. You haven’t made love until you have made love to an Italian. You want to know why? Cuz screw you, that’s why.

9 Responses to “10 Reasons Why Being Italian Is Great”

  1. Mike Corrino July 3, 2013 at 11:43 AM #

    Lol. I like #5 the best. All the italian chicks i’ve banged have been stacked.

  2. sake August 5, 2013 at 2:20 AM #

    Mhm, yeah. You forgot to mention about the goon attitude, the cowardness hiding behind the wanna-be-tough guy image, typical arrogance, stupidity, that shit-sounding accent ( especially in america), and the broads that have a mouth-claxon like a fuckin truck and the attitude of an undergraduate hooker

    • Alessandro May 12, 2015 at 10:40 AM #

      “That accent especially in America”. Duh…in Italy we speak Italian so there isn’t an “accent”, and i do think the Italians there are all but fresh off the boat Italians, (many are not even Italians 100% but pretends to be), so they speak yankee language with accent depending of which state of Usa they come from. LOL

  3. daniel January 31, 2015 at 3:14 AM #

    Italians aren’t all that. The egoism that American italians created is half developed b/c of culture and adapting to america during the early 1900′s. The other half is fake and is comparable to black gangstas of today. Everyone has a tuff guy self image, even if they’re not. Less than 10 percent of italians are mobbed u, so the majority are just reg. people.. but they are very ethnocentric. If you’re not italian, you’re not welcome.. especially in the old days. My great-great grandmother fainted when she heard her italian grandson would marry irish. Racism is something italians are used to knowing.. If you’re a northern italian, you’re in the high society club. If you’re not, you’re compared to today’s mexicans. Poor and darker skinned. It stems to ancient times.. black slaves in italy did mix, and they must have had lots of societal conflicts in developing Rome (whose controllers were prob much fairer in skin complexion in the early days) It’s a cultural conscious that is old, but sneaks itself in without modern italians being aware of it.

  4. Tony March 15, 2015 at 1:58 PM #

    It’s the Portuguese who hot. Plus, it was the Portuguese who mapped the known world; we left our language, religion, beautiful architecture everywhere….oh, plus we are olive skinned too!

    • AFM March 15, 2015 at 3:07 PM #

      Oh, Portuguese is a beautiful language with beautiful people too. Maybe an article about Portugal is in the works.

  5. Stefano April 15, 2015 at 6:42 PM #

    No offences but this seems just the work of an Italian american of S.Italian origins who has heard stories about Italy only and never set foot there.
    Olive skin? Depends on the season. In summer yes, in winter not.
    “I mangiare cacca verde”? apart that i have never heard that, the form is also wrong. It spells “Io mangio la cacca verde”in case.
    Mafia and Mobs are a S.Italian thing, and none from Rome above brought that in Usa. I don’t know how to cook and nobody ever judged me on that. Italian women are probably the least probable in Europe to have big breasts.

    • Bella May 7, 2015 at 1:22 AM #

      They obviously don’t speak Italian! I’ve never heard that either. And it’s very obvious they have never seen an Italian or set foot in Italy.
      I don’t have olive skin, and my big breasts are not from my Italian side! Totally right about the S.Italian theory. How ignorant.

      • AFM May 7, 2015 at 6:03 PM #

        Note from the editor: The author of this article is a third generation Italian who does not speak Italian fluently. So the aforementioned translation is not grammatically correct. And, further research does show that British women now have the largest breasts averaging a D cup. Italians average a B cup.

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