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How to Plan A Bachelor Party

9 Apr

The number one rule of throwing a great bachelor party for your friend is to completely ignore the wishes of his bride-to-be. Reassure her that you will not let the groom behave too poorly, and then adhere closely to these rules. Make sure that your buddy gets blackout drunk. Keep him surrounded by sexy ladies all night. And, finish the night off with strippers. Planning a bachelor party should be the easiest endeavor that you ever embark upon as a adult male. There are only a few simple rules to throwing a great bachelor party.


1. Bring Alcohol

There should be enough hard liquor at your bachelor party to keep a squad of Vietnam veterans in an alcoholic stupor for five days. The legend of the bachelor party that you threw for your best friend is directly related to the amount of beers, cocktails, and bottles of liquor that are emptied that night. Alcohol eases inhibitions and brings people together. It is the perfect social lubricant for any gathering, and it is completely necessary for pulling off a great bachelor party. Just be sure to keep Angela the angry drunk from having too many. We all know a girl who acts a fool when she starts drinking.

2. Ignore the Bride and Groom

No woman wants their future groom to be surrounded by attractive women on their last day of freedom, but you owe it to your friend and his groomsmen to invite hot girls to celebrate his marriage. The two people getting married should have no input in the location or the activities of the bachelor party. So, do not listen to the bride when she says no girls, and do not listen to the groom when he echoes the sentiment.  No great parties happen without the presence of hot women and even gay men like boobs and butts, so everyone wins. Ergo, the wedding party should ignore any suggestions for a coed bachelor party. This a sham thought up by insecure women and passive men. Invite all the sexist women that you know to the locale, ask them to bring their hottest girlfriends, and buy all of their drinks. Good drinks make everyone a little more comfortable in their own skin and more affable towards other people. As the host, you have to work the room, keep the ladies happy, and make sure that the groom is surrounded by cute girls the whole night. The only rule that must be adhered to when inviting hot chicks to the bar and introducing them to your crew is to make sure that the groom does not slip off with one of them and do something that he regrets the next day.

3. Pick A Spot

The common sense spot for most guys to have a bachelor party is either a strip club or the groom’s home. These are both terrible ideas. Strip clubs are confining and they overcharge for everything and force you to buy drinks from their establishment in most cases. The bouncers dictate how rowdy your guys can get, and you have to share the club with the local losers who visit the club every week. Having the bachelor party in the house of the groom potentially leaves evidence of the party lying around for the fiancé to find. Rent a hotel suite for the special night or rent out a house for the weekend. Either way, the party is more private and everyone has a place to crash after a long night of drinking.


4. Strippers

No bachelor party is complete without a little good old fashioned debauchery. For a bachelor party to be successful, strippers have to be present and plentiful, because a party is not a party until a nipple makes an appearance. You have to set ground rules for any adult entertainment. Different exotic dancers cost different amounts of cash to book and come with different expectations. Some strippers do not allow any touching. Some encourage it. And, there are some strippers who give a few extra services for a little extra cash. Each type of stripper comes with their own advantages and their own specific set of problems. Choose carefully. The dancers that do drugs are usually more willing to do extra, but they are also more volatile. European strippers are the worst.

5. Destroy All Evidence

The bachelor party is like a trip to Vegas. What happens in the bachelor party should stay in the party. There should be discernible proof that the party even happened once the last lapdance has ended. No phones or cameras can be taken into the bachelor party. All receipts should be burned and the groom should never pay for anything so his bank statements stay clear of suspicion. Check the groom and groomsmen for glitter. Glitter has alerted more wives and girlfriends of affairs than private investigators, so you should treat clean up like a CSI agent is checking your crime scene.


Following these simple rules will insure that your bachelor party will be a success, and help send the groom off into wedded bliss with no regrets. The bachelor party is a man’s last hurrah before a lifetime of servitude and pain. Set a location, find some girls, get the strippers, and clean up after yourselves. Give your buddies memories that will last a lifetime.

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