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How to Get Into the Club

15 May

how to get in the club04

1. Be a Hot Chick - Hot women just have an easier life, especially in their 20′s. And, the one place where hot women reign supreme is in night clubs. They can usually skip the line outside altogether if they are cute enough. Once they get into the club, idiots buy them drinks all night. And, once these women are liquored up, they even have guys and their hater friends to stop them from making foolish decisions. Women are the rulers of night clubs.


2. Be with Hot Chicks - If you are not a hot chick, then the rule of thumb is to be with hot chicks. This is also known as being cool by association, and it works if you are male or female. Ugly women actually gain more than men by hanging with hot chicks. Men get admission to clubs by being with hot women, ugly women get free admission and free drinks.


3. Chat Up the Bouncer - Be the funny guy at the door. Everyone loves the funny guy. If you read the Cosmo polls, women always rate a good sense of humor above good looks. Of course, that means be funny without being offensive. If you bother the patrons of the club or take verbal shots at the bouncer, then you get kicked out of line and possibly kicked in the head.

4. Bribe the Bouncer - The standard bribe is $20. Fold it into your hand and extend your hand to the enormous, inbred pig that stands between you and under-dressed girls with over-priced drinks. You chance losing twenty dollars, but it is a risk that I am willing for you to take. The bouncer may ask for more too depending on the city you live (Vegas could cost $50-$100). If he goes for your bribe, then he should usher you past the schmucks that are waiting in line to the door where you still have to pay an entrance fee. Lucky you.


5. Be a Regular - The best trick for getting into a popular club is becoming a regular. Almost every club has a few dead nights during the week. This is when you should get to know the bouncer and all the people working the door. They hate being there on slow nights and you have an opportunity to build a relationship with them then. Ask them a few questions about the club and themselves. Once you know them and they recognize you, try again on a popular night. You might get the VIP treatment without paying for it.


6. Check the Back Door - If all else fails, the answer to how to get in the club could as simple as walking into the unlocked back door. Clubs need a way to get food and drinks into the club and a way to get trash and drunk people out of there. Some clubs leave the kitchen entrance and back exit open and unguarded. Walk in like you belong and you may make it to the dance floor for free.

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