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Body Language: Read Her Cues

25 Jun

The game of attraction is a difficult one to play, especially for men that are trying to find an attractive woman to date. When searching for a woman as a mate, men are socialized and somewhat hardwired by biology to overlook physical cues in an attempt to seduce as many women possible, theoretically bettering the chances of finding a mate, but ultimately resulting in a higher rate of failure and occasionally lowered self-esteem. Properly reading body language produces a better chance at finding and attracting a suitable mate.

At the first stages of attraction, when men and women are beginning to notice each other, men are usually a bit overzealous. Eagerly awaiting an opportunity to interact with an attractive woman causes men to ignore which women are giving obvious cues of intrigue and which are just being polite. For instance, a gentle smile by a pretty lady influences the average guy into approaching the woman to flirt. That smile may or may not have been have been flirtatious. Women give many cues that are very coercive visually, but can be completely innocuous and misinterpreted. The signs that relay a woman’s attraction to a man are maintained eye contact and a wide smile. They show her interest and are a small indication for the man to make an advance. Men often erroneously perceive any notice from a woman as a cue of her interest. Finding a match in a public area takes patience and keen observation. Eye contact followed by a tipped chin and an inviting smile are clear indicators; every other behavior could be misinformation.

Once a woman has shown interest, and an initial meeting has occurred, the next step in interpreting a woman’s body language comes in concert with actual conversation. A wide smile is no longer a culpable indicator of how closely engaged a lady is in your interactions. Things like a coy smile and a flip of the hair are often misconstrued as signs of attraction, when they could be a mere collection of thought or a sign of anxiety. However, people, specifically women in this case, give multiple signs of interest with both verbal and non-verbal communication. One fairly obvious sign of interest is if the woman laughs at everything the man says. Laughter and smiles are universal signs of happiness, so the man that gets boisterous laughter after each anecdote knows that his advances are at least amusing to the woman that he is pursuing. Compliments also serve as indicators that a woman is at least mildly intrigued with her pursuer. Some non-verbal cues include the positioning of a woman arms and legs. Arms folded portray defensiveness and reticence. Even if she is laughing, a woman with her arms folded is hesitant to believe anything from and disclose anything to the person with whom she is talking. A high leg cross at the knee signifies a defensive stance; and it often accompanies crossed arms. Women that lean backwards when talking to a perspective mate are physically, though often unconsciously, attempting to put space between her and her suitor. A receptive woman has languid, open body language. Her arms are open, in her lap, or visible on the table in front of her. She leans in to converse with someone that attracts her and eventually breaches the touch barrier, possibly putting her hand on his arm, shoulder, or knee.

Touching generally means that a woman has reached a certain level of comfort and attraction with a potential partner. The man should reciprocate the touch promptly and limit his touches to the same area of the woman that she touched on him. Eye contact and demure body language should continue. If it does, the man should continue interacting and entertaining. If the woman’s feet start tapping and she looks into the distance often during the conversation, then she has lost interest. A person’s feet start moving once they have decided to leave the conversation. If that happens, then he should make a swift, sincere exit.

Women’s intentions can be absolutely confounding to men in simple, everyday situations. Deciphering those desires in a specific context proves exponentially more taxing. But, a woman’s body language allows a more in-depth perception of that person’s real intentions and she is easier to understand if you have the tools.

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