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How Having A Cat Is Like Dating A Hot Woman

3 Jul

women are like cats03

You Will Be Ignored

Your cat always has something better to do when you want their attention or affection. Whether they are playing with their toys, sunbathing, taking a nap, or just ignoring you, whatever they are currently doing is more important than your desires at any given moment of the day. A cat is never at your beck and call. And similarly, hot women always have too many options in the dating pool to wait for your call. A beautiful young woman has professional athletes, doctors, lawyers, mechanics, and garbage men chasing after her and offering her the world. She does not need you even if she likes you. She may not like her current options – which is the sole reason that you have a shot with her – but there is always another opportunity for her to be entertained. Some guy is always willing to shell out ridiculous amounts of money to be ignored by a beautiful woman. And, when you can have anyone, no one is good enough for you. Like every cat in the world is too good for their owner, every sexy woman in the world can afford to ignore the guy who wants her.


Feed Them If You Want Their Attention

No cat can resist the sound of a can opener even if they have been ignoring you all day, and the only caveat to the “women will ignore you” rule is the “women love food” exception.  Nothing says I’m your best option to a lady like overpriced food and forced small talk. And, if you are fortunate enough to string together the right set of words, then your date might find out that she is genuinely interested in you despite your obvious shortcomings. A woman’s most intimate needs are a mystery to men, but if you are vying for a small piece of her attention then buy her some food.


They Never Travel in Packs

The term “cat fight” was appropriately coined. Domestic cats do not travel together in packs and neither do hot women. And, the reason that neither of them hang together is because both hot women and cats can not stay in close proximity with one another for too long without fighting among themselves. Cats fight over food, territory, and social status. Women fight over looks, social media, and social status. You will never see more than two hot women in any group of ladies because the level of vanity that it takes to be extremely hot supersedes the people skills that a person must have to deal with others amicably. Cats and hot chicks do not travel in packs.


They Nap

Your cat will sleep from 14-20 hours a day. And, when you cannot get in touch with a hot women, there is a good chance that she is just sleeping. A big part of a sexy woman’s hotness is aggressively getting enough hours of uninterrupted sleep and even more hours spent primping and planning outfits, accessories, and makeup. Be grateful that you get any time with a beautiful woman during any given 24-hour period.

cat - manipulation

They Manipulate You

A pretty woman knows how to act in order to get what she wants from you. Whether it be a simple smile, a caress on the shoulder, or a sultry brush against you, you are not in control of the situation when a hot chick decides what she wants. If you have ever been awakened from a sound sleep for late night sex or a 3 A.M. discussion about your behavior, then you know that you are at the mercy of a hot lady and her desires. Your cat’s desires are just as important. And, if you have ever been awakened at the crack of dawn by a 8 lb. tabby sitting on your forehead while waiting to be fed, then you know who runs your relationship.

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